Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Advice for lesbians splitting up

13 replies

Timerunningout · 16/05/2022 20:53

Any advice, please, for a lesbian couple who are splitting up after decades together and entering a civil partnership a few years ago. A has always worked and contributed most to the relationship financially. B is on disability benefits. Nearing retirement age, B will only have the state pension while A will also have a work pension.
They don't want to involve lawyers, and aren't in a hurry to end the civil partnership. But they are finding it difficult to agree on how to proceed. They each have a place to live, and B is finding it difficult to cope on her small income.

Can anyone offer advice, please?

OP posts:
GoldenEclipse · 16/05/2022 20:56

I would seek legal advice to ensure both parties get their legal share of any assets.

theculture · 16/05/2022 21:13

Honestly I think in the absence of children it is not A's job to subsidise B once they have broken up

If B hadn't met A what situation would they be in at this stage of their life?

Sadly I don't think it's going to be an easy conversation for either party and best get lawyers/mediation

Ikeptgoing · 16/05/2022 21:21

You have a civil partnership and a long standing relationship before civil partnerships were possible going back decades.

I would treat this like a long standing marriage break up.

Each get some advice from a solicitor that is a conciliatory one, don't find adversarial ones. Pay your £250 each for what they recommend and say you want to be fair, then arrange a mediator to work out the details.

I would expect that B gets a share in As pension and a share in joint (or if not joint then it surely counts as the marital/ Civil partnership) property.

It's very sad to go through a break up now but you have both been committed to each other for so long in a relationship, find a way to make it fair.

Anyway that's my IANAL advice.

Babyroobs · 16/05/2022 22:41

If they have split and can prove they have separated financially or are they living separately already , then B can claim Universal credit until she reaches retirement age as long as no savings over 16k. If her disability prevents her from working then she can hand in sick notes and wait to be assessed for work capability which may get her extra money on the claim. How long does she have until state retirement age ? If close to retirement age then she may be able to put in a claim for pension credit depending on the amount of her state pension, as she would get a disability premium if no-one claims carers allowance for caring for her. If B is going to be renting then she may also qualify for housing benefit once she reaches state pension age and council tax reduction.

Useranon1 · 17/05/2022 07:41

I would expect that B gets a share in As pension and a share in joint (or if not joint then it surely counts as the marital/ Civil partnership) property.

I would not unless there are children involved that B has sacrificed earning power to raise? It's not A's job to make sure B has an equal lifestyle post breakup.

SamReiver · 17/05/2022 15:14

Useranon1 · 17/05/2022 07:41

I would expect that B gets a share in As pension and a share in joint (or if not joint then it surely counts as the marital/ Civil partnership) property.

I would not unless there are children involved that B has sacrificed earning power to raise? It's not A's job to make sure B has an equal lifestyle post breakup.

That’s not how it’s generally seen in the courts. Once the relationship is formalised (marriage, civil partnership) then there tends to be a presumption that assets are treated as joint.

I was earning tens of times more than my partner when we divorced, so had a massively larger pension, and the starting assumption is that we split everything down the middle.

Timerunningout · 17/05/2022 17:46

Thanks for all these helpful thoughts and suggestions.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 17/05/2022 17:55

I think B will just have to manage with whatever state help they are entitled to. I dont think there is any obligation for A to continue supporting B for ever more.

Solosunrise · 17/05/2022 18:00

Civil partnership and marriage are financial transactions.
You (they?) need legal advice

SamReiver · 17/05/2022 18:31

Viviennemary · 17/05/2022 17:55

I think B will just have to manage with whatever state help they are entitled to. I dont think there is any obligation for A to continue supporting B for ever more.

That’s an interesting view. Would you think that the law was the same if it was a husband and wife splitting up after decades together?

That’s definitely not how my lawyers explained it to me when I divorced.

MrsGluck · 17/05/2022 18:38

You say they don't want to involve lawyers, but this is exactly the time when they both need professional legal advice. Especially B who is in a more vulnerable financial position. Talking to a solicitor doesn't automatically mean things have to become adversarial.

dewisant2020 · 17/05/2022 21:01

Its really sad when a relationship comes to an end, you've both been committed to each other for such a long time & in a civil partnership.
I think it's vital you both seek legal advice as being in a civil partnership changes things, when my sister dissolved her civil partnership they had to spit all their assets down the middle including pensions and savings. No ones want to involve legal experts as it can add costs but its usually the best thing to do and they can actually save people money in the long term as its done fairly

Timerunningout · 20/05/2022 10:35

Thanks, everyone. This is all helpful.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page