Time to think about our children's future

[Goodpepper]

How much does your child's future keep you up at night?

Will they have a fulfilling job? Will they make enough money?

Sometimes we obsess so much about our financial situations that we don't think about how our children will cope with theirs when they're adults.

I've spoken to many people about how hard their lives have been. Mainly because their incomes weren't consistent or enough.

It's downheartening.

I don't want the same for our children. That's why I've started thinking about their futures. Especially their jobs and financial education.

We shouldn't tell our kids what jobs to take. It's their lives. So, getting our kids to learn about jobs isn’t about picking their future career. It’s about letting them know the many options they have so that they can expand their future choices.

From an early age, kids identify with workers they come in contact with. If they don’t meet any people that work in rewarding jobs, they may not realise those jobs exist. How would they learn about them?

Life is racing ahead. New jobs are being created daily. You need to make your child aware of the variety of jobs that exist and tell them what duties they involve. Try to find jobs that aren’t common. Look into jobs that may suit them. Ones that pay well would be ideal. If it suits their personality and interests.

You can't keep looking for options for them forever, so DEVELOP THEIR INTEREST in finding out about other jobs.

Some work now should lessen the amount of anxiety you and they could have in the future.

What do you think?

I do think about it, but only in a "I hope they are happy" kind of way.

I am not well off but there is family money and property so I'm privileged to not have to worry about that side of it too much.

I want her to make choices that make her happy and enable her to live a life that she - for the most part - enjoys, whatever that involves.

My parents had a similar approach and let us do our own thing and just supported us in our choices, we've always had a 'safety net' of love and support and as long as I can provide that for her as time goes along, I'm ok with it.

@Goodpepper I have a different attitude to money than my siblings however, they have similar attitudes to their husband/wife so there doesn't seem to be any fall outs over money in their relationships.

An interesting tale of my children, they both played computer games where they learned about jobs (Roblox I think) so they would become a taxi driver and pick up passengers, the more jobs they did the more they earned. They then bought furniture for their houses in the game. They were also chefs? in the game, making orders of food. They both played a game where you get X amount of money to open your theme park, you invest in rides, food stands, toilets etc. You charged an entrance fee and then reinvested the profits.

Neither of my children had weekly pocket money, no one gets paid for expected chores in this house. I don't know if that helped. I sometimes heard their friends who seemed to just spend it because they had it, they were buying outfits for their Moshi Monster, so basically a cartoon character you got dress up where you could buy hats etc for them or decorate their home.

@OnTheBenchOfDoom That's interesting that your kids played those kinds of computer games. I wonder how that developed their outlook on financial matters. You've given me something new to think about!

As for being given an allowance for chores... we were given an allowance but not for doing chores. We still had to do chores, but the money wasn't for them.

I think doing chores to earn an allowance would help kids learn a few things.

• They belong to a family and have responsibilities. It makes them feel a stronger sense of supporting their family. (probably with a bit of grumbling though 😁)


• They're exchanging time for money.


• Once they spend their allowance, it's gone.

But just so they don't spend it without thinking, I'd give them 4 piggy banks to split their money. One for spending whenever they want. One for saving up for bigger things, like a spending money for a holiday. One for starting an investment account. One for sharing - as in for charities or anyone they feel needs some financial help.

My DS is severely autistic and will never live independently or have a job. That's what keeps me up at night. That and what happens when I'm gone

DD is 'normal' and honestly I just don't worry. She's very supported and has a good head on her shoulders. All I can do is guide and support. The rest will come. It has to. There aren't any magic wands out there

I so so wish there were

@daisyjgrey I agree completely. A rewarding life isn't just about money. It's about being happy in yourself and what you're doing. Love and support go a long way.

We let our daughter choose the direction her life takes. She's not a planner, so that's hard for us to see. She doesn't have a long term plan, but that's okay because she saves some money. She doesn't often borrow money from us, and when she does, she pays it back. We're always there to support her emotionally, and she knows.

After the global financial crisis, our business nosedived. It wasn't a big money earner to begin with, so it was a very stressful time. It was only by supporting each other that we stayed sane and got through it. We managed to hang to our house, but with still a sizable mortgage. We're whittling it down, so I hope the debt is gone by the time we can pass it on to our daughter. Either way, she won't have to start from scratch.

its not something I worry about at all. We have a six bed home so they can live here if they ever need/want to as adults. We would support them financially with the basics if necessary.

Herewith, I am raising a child 8 years old who is generous with money he accumulated towards himself or others. Mostly he tries to take responsibility into his hand. The best financial advise I found that is different, we should not hope that we should be able to leave them house ,or any financial help.

@beddingwedding I hope you find options for your son. I don't have any experience in that field, so I can't make any suggestions except to keep reaching out to people to find options. Good luck.

@Momr your advice is food for thought. I'd be interested in hearing more about your reasons.

The way people deal with money often relates to whether they are capable of delayed gratification or not. Short term versus long term thinking and that is only possible when the basics are already covered.

The safety net a poster speaks, of about is really about family money providing security, it is easier to take risks with education, career and jobs if you have the backup to know you will still be ok.

I encouraged my DC to pick subjects they enjoyed at school, this then led to the degrees they did. They now have careers they are happy in.
I didn’t really teach them about money except to pay into any work pension scheme they were offered.
My DC had a privileged childhood, I never said no to things they wanted and we went on many holidays and had days out every weekend. I’m pleasantly surprised how appreciative they are and not at all expecting things and also very good with their money.

Good insights, @LiveintheNow. Any thoughts about other traits that someone that can delay gratification has?

That's interesting to hear, @DownTownAbbey2. What broad personality traits do they have? Patient or rush things? Planner or spontaneous? Thinker or doer? Creative or practical? Etc