How do you split household bills and holidays?

[sskkss]

Out of curiosity, how do you guys split household bills and holidays? What kind of agreement do you guys have?

For example, one can earn way more than another, eating selectively expensive taste of food, etc. One wants luxury holidays while another cannot afford luxury nor holidays if it was to split 50:50.
Another scenario is one has a child and another doesn't have a child. Or one has one child and another has 3 or 4 children.

If the person who wants & can afford luxury holidays is in a relationship with someone who can’t afford it, they either need to holiday alone or with someone else who can afford it, or pay for the person who can’t afford it, or compromise in a holiday their partner can easily afford.

If you can’t afford something, you can’t afford it.

If you have different amounts of children then the above applies but each parent affords what they can for them + offspring.

The richer person subsidises the poorer one.

We combine our income, take off the bills, childcare, food, DC expenses, savings for Christmas, holidays, rainy day, investment etc then what is left is halved between us for personal spends. This covers clothes, nights out, coffees etc. We might treat the family to a meal, or we might split the bill between us. We also have our own savings from this.

Originally I was the higher earner. We’ve been fairly equal for a few years and now DH has overtaken me and is likely to earn significantly more than me in future. We’ll still split like this either way. Any overtime either of us get is half for the person that earned it and half into the family pot. Same with DH’s bonus although I don’t get one.

We used to have one pot of money and everything went in there but I started getting frustrated that dh had new golf clubs and I felt like we never had any money so
We calculated the bills worked out what was fair including petrol food shop dc activities and Christmas contribution and some savings and split it where dh pays sightly more as he earns about 6k more than me
We then each have around 700£ pm left over each and it’s each persons responsibility to make sure they have the money for holidays we agree to go on

Now we are very similar in taste and earnings BUT if dh wanted to go on an extremely expensive holiday I would expect to discuss what contribution I could afford and go from there

We honestly used to be the one pot mumsnet family but this works so much better for us now and it’s about being honest when my money is gone or he has a ‘bad month’ at work where we top each other up as needed

We have one pot and pool everything so never even think about how things are split.

What’s your situation?
How are you splitting it now, and is it an issue for you?
Or is this last “journalism”?

We've always split from the family pot.
Over the years I've earned more and he's earned more. It's always been considered family money.
We each take the same amount each monthly for fun/frivolous spends and when it's gone it's gone.
Holidays are discussed and planned together and paid for from the main pot.
Holidays/short breaks with friends paid from with our own fun money.
Works for us.

basically, we are a weekend couple. Only see each other twice month. Approx 380miles away. We still live apart due to my child relationship with his father and I didn'want to challenge it. Also, somehow distance relationship worked for both of us as both are so busy.

I always come down to his and it became routine. I continuously need to live far away for another 10 years at least.

We are not married but are considered partners. we attend all family events, official and non-official as a couple. We don’t put any money in one pot. we still live a apart. He has his own place and I have my own place. I pay what is half for holidays and even little money. 50:50 and I pay all cost for my child as he doesn't have a child. This routine started from the beginning of the relationship as it’s normal but that has kept as the fact even though now we became a couple.

We have significant income differences (I am the lowest and he is additional rate payer) but I am the one who always comes down as his demanding job doesn’t suit to travel. then again I am the one who pays travel costs which is around 8% of my income every time. I am struggling on top of my bills.

He has obviously high spender with his momey but we do choose fairly cheap holidays because I cannot afford it but he doesn't want to pay the rest. so I am okay with it as long as I can afford.

I feel like we are a couple but do we stay as friends? who spend time together when convenient.

So basically you pay to see him at a time of his choosing and go on holidays which you can ill afford paying 50% for ?

From his perspective I can see why he wouldn't want to subside holidays for a casual relationship, but that's discounting the income disparity and your traveling costs.

What happens if you don't visit him, would he come to yours?

Of course you pay all costs for your child! You don’t live with him, you only see him twice a month - your child is nothing to do with him!

I don’t even want to opine about holiday choice and costs though…

Because I think you should dump him.

This should be in “Relationships” not “Money”!

You should not be bearing all the costs of travelling to him. And given that you’re the lower earning, that’s an absolute pisstake that he’s expecting that.

I’m sorry, but there’s not point in not facing this - this is not a partnership for him, it’s a convenience. No surprise travel doesn’t “suit” his job.

And you were travelling 380 miles each way for a fuck buddy even before it became a relationship?!

You could be doing so much more with your life on those 2 weekends and with more money. If you’re that desperate for him carry on - but still least expect him to pay all the travel costs. Not because you earn less, but so that he’s buying your efforts when he makes none.

Distance works for you because you’re both so busy?
Frankly, you’re convincing yourself.
380 miles? How long is that taking you 4x a month? That’s Bristol to Glasgow which is a 6 hour drive. If you had 24 hours more of your life, you could space things out and not be busy.

You need to put 16% of your monthly income in cash on the table in front of you.

Then think about how that could be going into a bank account for your child, or for you.

Is a bit of company and a bit of cock really work 18% of your budget and 24 hours travelling each month? Really?

Sounds desperate to me. Just tell him you're not going. It's too much travelling and you can't afford it. See what he does. And if it's nothing, then find your dignify.

We pay by direct debit proportionally (% wise) into a joint account.
DH earns six times what I do, so he contributes six times more to all joint stuff.
The remainder of our monies is for us to spend/save individually as we wish.