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Original poster

How to split this fairly (inheritance)!

62 replies

chickencuddles · 09/04/2022 17:48

My mum died, unexpectedly, earlier in the year. She left no will. Estate will be divided between myself and brother. There is a house and some cash assets. Brother currently lives in the house, is unemployed, mid-thirties. He has no intention of selling in the near future. There is no mortgage on the house, and it is a large detached family home.

My question is, what happens now? Do we split the cash between us now, and then one day when/if he decides to sell the house, split that between us? Or do I take all the cash now, and then balance this out with the house at a later date when/if it gets sold, as he currently benefits from living rent/mortgage free in a large house?

Other issue is that he hasn’t been looking after the house over the last 6 months (my mum was in hospital for this time), so it is already falling into disrepair, effectively devaluing my share of the property. If the property is sold now, he has enough money to buy a property more suitable to his needs and own it outright. Technically I don’t ‘need’ the money as I had never factored inheritance into my financial plans, assuming it would be eaten up by care-home fees. I can’t work out what the right/fair thing to do is, as I’m obviously heavily involved in it, so I need a fresh perspective.

If the house was worth very little and he wouldn’t be able to afford a new property with his share of the estate, I would feel inclined to just say nothing as it would be unfair to suggest selling when he wouldn’t be able to afford a place of his own, but the fact is that his share would be enough for him to start afresh in a new property.

As is often the case, we get on OK but not brilliantly; there have been issues in the past between us, and I don’t want to be the ‘horrible’ sibling in this situation. We haven’t spoken about any options because he gets very defensive and aggressive when sensitive topics are brought up (he has some ongoing mental health issues), so I think I need to come up with a couple of scenarios of how to split this estate fairly before I address this with him.

I just wondered if anyone had been through something similar and had any advice for me?

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 09/04/2022 19:00

I would sort it now. He can choose to get a mortgage and buy you out of your share of the house or the house can be sold and the profits split. If he chooses to keep the house, get multiple independent valuations and use those to set the price.

Unsure33 · 09/04/2022 19:09

I would suggest both visiting a solicitor together ?

You need to push the angle about him probably being able to afford a modern well insulated property with low bills and no mortgage or rent . Surely that will persuade him and it’s what your mother would have wanted ?

ivykaty44 · 09/04/2022 19:14

with administration how will tax work? surely its not a case of just handing the house to your brother - he needs to buy you out or sell up and move elsewhere. otherwise what will happen with capital gains if your brother sells the house later?

Ratatoo · 09/04/2022 19:30

You should tell him you'll need to sell it.

I'm sorry about your mum Thanks

Cocomarine · 09/04/2022 19:40

It sounds very likely that he’s going to be an arse about it. Therefore, you’d be wasting your time trying to be “nice” as hell either be an arse now, or just the sane further down the line. If this affects the (not great) relationship that you have, it will be his doing not yours.

I’d be quite natter of fact that the house needed to go on the market as he (a) can’t afford it and (b) doesn’t own it all. Get him to start by putting the council tax in his name, for a start!

As you don’t need the money immediately, perhaps propose a date to go on the market 3 months from now.

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 09/04/2022 21:25

You both need to agree to sell the house in the mean time he should pay you half the market rent both need to maintain the property, if you leave him to it it will only get harder, you need to be direct and tell him he has a set amount of time then the house will be going up for sale if he refuaes unfortunately it taking him to court to be able to sell

Babyroobs · 09/04/2022 21:48

Sell the house and split the money 50:50. hopefully he will be able to buy his own property with the proceeds and if he is currently claiming benefits he is allowed to do this without it being considered deprivation of capital.

BotterMon · 09/04/2022 21:56

Have friend in similar position. His sibling refused to move as unemployed, blah blah blah. 3 years on and it's just being sorted after hellish legal wranglings etc. They wanted to be nice and she has done everything to make things difficult including letting the house go to pot.

Force the sale of the house and get him out asap. Sorry for your loss.

gunnersgold · 09/04/2022 22:01

He has to buy you out of your share and split the money left if you are being fair . He has probably has years of free board so he should be loaded . His problem if he is too lazy to work. He can comfortably live in a flat that is paid for with his half is the house if he doesn't like it ! 🤷‍♀️

Undercoverdetective · 09/04/2022 22:03

Someone suggested that the council tax should be put in his name. Be wary of doing anything without advice as he may have or acquire rights to remain in the property.

Chloemol · 09/04/2022 22:04

Whilst not in a rush you do need to start talking now, especially if he is not looking after the property, asa minimum whilst living rent free he needs to do that. Also how is he going to afford his bills for such a large property

No doubt probate is required which may take some time, but realistically the house needs to be sold and hopefully with his share of that and the cash he can buy somewhere smaller and more manageable to live

oviraptor21 · 09/04/2022 22:16

@CrotchetyQuaver

I think you need to quietly take legal advice about the scenario of if he refuses to agree to move out of and sell the house. The fairest way is split everything 50/50 and if there's not enough cash to get your half of the estate from then either you compromise (I wouldn't) or he needs to see sense and do the right thing and agree to sell. I would do this sooner rather than later.
The legal situation is OP could ask the courts to make an order to sell the house. Which so long as OP is entitled to their share of the house, the court would do.

The brother won't be homeless as he will have half the proceeds of the house as rent. Ie his capital is too much.

PunchMunch · 09/04/2022 22:49

I think it needs sorting ASAP too and as well and the advice you've had on selling the house, he may well also need to consider his share of cash means he's no longer entitled to benefits too and might need to speak universal credit or whoever to discuss where he stands with this and get help with budgeting because he may find he has bills to pay that he's not used to managing.

I'm sorry you've lost your MumThanks

HollowTalk · 09/04/2022 23:05

To the person who said he would be homeless and should go to the council, that's ridiculous as he will have enough money to buy a house outright when they sell that house.

He doesn't get to make the decisions now. The decision was made in the will and that was that the value should be split between you both. He can't just decide to live in it and, even worse, run it down!

Workyticket · 09/04/2022 23:11

He'd be better with a fresh start - however I think that with a house in his name his benefit claim would be affected massively so he needs to be aware of that too.

gogohm · 09/04/2022 23:14

It needs to be sold once probate is completed

BuanoKubiamVej · 09/04/2022 23:26

If there's no will then intestacy rules apply, you don't get to decide who gets what. He doesn't get to keep the house unless he was a joint tenant named on the deeds (unlikely)

Intestacy rules are simple - I assume you and your brother are your mum's only children and there are no other siblings (especially not a deceased sibling who has children - that would be complicated) - so you get a straight 50:50 each.

For the time being you get 100% of the cash and other assets that aren't the house because your brother is enjoying more than his fair share until the house is sold. House gets sold right away (you would need to apply for a court order to sell if he refuses but that will be certainly granted) and then the money from the sale is split so that tge two of you each have 50% of the full estate (so you would get less from the house due to already having the cash)

Your mother would want the two of you to be fair and equitable with one another assuming she was a decent mum. She would be furious with your brother if he tried to wheedle out of you getting your fair share.

Original poster
chickencuddles · 10/04/2022 02:15

Thank you all for your responses. The consensus seems to be that selling the property is the way forward. I did consider just saying I would have the cash and he could keep the house, but the house is worth about 6 times the cash, which seems a little unfair! And whilst I say we don't need the cash now, you never know what is around the corner. He has lived rent free there for his entire adult life, I think he perhaps made some contributions to food bills in that time, but I stayed out of that side of things.

I currently have a solicitor who is dealing with the grant of administration, and the total estate is being valued, so I think I will try to wait and see what the outcome of that is before I discuss things with my brother. Just a few things he has said recently give the impression that he hasn't even considered the house and my mum's (new) car are anything to do with matters. Once I have some clear figures I will obviously need to broach the subject. I just hate the feeling that I'm the 'bad guy' in this scenario, although I'm 100% sure that staying in the house (that has some really terrible memories) is going to be more detrimental to his mental health than moving somewhere new and starting afresh, although I totally acknowledge that it will be a difficult process. I'm obviously prepared to help him in any way I can to make it as easy as possible.

OP posts:
gunnersgold · 10/04/2022 07:01

Don't give him the house ffs ! He has lived there free for years so had way more than his fair share already!

Get what you deserve !

If you fall out so be it ! He is being very selfish to think it's his house when it's clearly not !!

Snorkello · 10/04/2022 07:18

Sorry for your loss op Flowers

Get legal advice to consider all options. There might be something you haven’t considered, but I would be keen to sell for a clean break and get him his own place. Surely half the house plus half the cash would be more than enough to set him up? House prices are bonkers.

Use some of the cash to fix up the house and market it.

If he really won’t sell now, maybe he would sign something to agree a sale in the future. Though with prices right now, it would be easier to sell. Why doesn’t he want to move?

Be gentle as you don’t know how he’s truly coping. These things can cause great rifts.

But no, I wouldn’t just let him have the house. If he can’t afford to run it, he could end up racking up debts and the sale will be forced. You’ll both lose out then.

bumpytrumpy · 10/04/2022 07:55

You need to sell the house and share the money.

Him keeping the house ...

Is not fair.
He can't afford it.
Will devalue it when he can't upkeep.
Will impact his benefit claim.
Will cause you far more hassle in the long run

Butfirstcoffees · 10/04/2022 08:01

I agree with everyone else.

Sell the house split everything 50:50. There is s rush because the house isnt being kept up to.

You aren't the bad guy. He can't continue to live and not support himself.

Musicalmaestro · 10/04/2022 08:39

I think I would try to broach this from the angle of encouraging brother to think about his best interests for the future.
A smaller property will be easier and cheaper to maintain with lower heating bills etc.
Maybe he will come round to that way of thinking, rather than ' sister wants to sell my home so she can have more money'

rookiemere · 10/04/2022 08:54

My friends DH had this situation with his Dsis. They did need the money, so it led to a lot of bitterness and resentment.

Also remember that you are jointly liable for repairs on the property at the minute.

Personally I'd get the property sold, blame it on the solicitor if you can.

StrawberryPot · 10/04/2022 09:09

Could you ask him to see a solicitor with you to discuss what to do about everything? Then let the solicitor outline options - which are basically sell and split proceeds or he buys you out, which you know he can't do. But if he's hearing it from a third, independent party he might accept the situation more?

I'm very sorry for your loss op, but slightly annoyed with your dm for not having a will in place. Also very shocked that your db didn't visit her once in hospital during the whole 6 months she was there 😞

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