Help

[RoundAndRoundItGoes]

I had 6 months furlough in 2020. I was only working part time then so I had 80% of 16 hours. It was hard. I built up some debts.
Then 2021 we were given 6 months notice to move because our landlord wanted to sell the house. That cost us thousands.

My husband doesn't manage any bills, he's had no clue what our bills even are, as far as he's concerned he earns the bread so I have to slice it.
I have spoken about this before but I've worked part time until this year so he's always refused to listen.

I've been struggling with bills and debts and finally cracked it a month ago, I've been verging on going bankrupt but managed to sort payment plans with all debtors.

Our former landlord messaged us saying they have some post for us and that they'd opened it and it was a missed bill, so husband gets mad at me for not rearranging post and bills.

I'm at my wits end. I have serious mental health problems and because of this i've always felt guilty and said yes to the kids when they wanted things and yes to husband when he wanted stuff cos he said he works hard all week and has no money.

I'm working 30 hours now weekly, I know it's not full time but I'm exhausted, I do occasional overtime and I like I said I have serious mental health issues as well as mild physical issues. But if I have time off work sick then I'm expected to do the household things.

What am I meant to do here!
I need to get life back on track 😓

(Please don't say LTB. I'm not doing that, it's not an option. Full stop.)

Have you had a look on the Moneysavingexpert website? its really helpful for all kinds of financial advice and the forums are also really good. Also I believe Stepchange can help with setting up payment plans with creditors. There are other options other than bankruptcy such as an IVA.

Have you looked at whether you can claim universal credit ? Or do you claim tax credits still? With kids and rent to pay, even with two wages coming in you may qualify.

Also try CAB for debt advice.

Once you've got sorted, get a white board for the kitchen and write out where your money is going, update it everytime you spend something if possible so he can't claim ignorance.

What’s your outgoings and what is your income (joint)

Also do you claim all you are entitled to?

Hi OP,

first of all sorry you're going through a tough time x

I know you said you've tried speaking to DH about the finances and he wouldn't listen but does he know how deep in debt you guys are? I would make it plain and say this is our income and this is our expenditure and that's how much were in debt. This shouldn't be your cross alone to bear. You're not single. He needs to be given an ultimatum!

On the other hand I can tell by your post you don't manage money well(its not an insult, many of us don't. I was waist deep in debt some years ago until DH paid it off and I learnt my lesson) Now I'm much better and my DH has taught me so much over the years as it relates to finance.

If you're already in debt you cant keep giving the kids/DH everything they ask for; you have to start cutting back somewhere...You need to be tight with your finances now and only spend on essentials. As hard it sounds, you're gonna have to do it until you can get back in a more stable situation because this has now affected your mental health and its only gonna get worse.

What is the actual current issue, I’m struggling to get that from the post. Is it that your debt repayments are bigger than the money left to cover them? Or that family demands are meaning you live outside your means? Or that just having the debt is causing stress. Or something else?