Urgent help/advice needed

[sunshineamongsttheshitstorm]

Okay, could be a long one. Long time user. Name change for obvious reasons.

My husband has completely gone into meltdown/midlife crisis mode. He's quit his well paid job and handed his notice in last week and left home and as far as he is concerned we are now living separate lives. He doesn't want to see the children or me. No obvious reason as to why he was completely normal until 2 weeks ago. I am now in survival mode. I don't have time to be upset and know about the what's and why's right now, he has a supportive family and is getting help from a mental health team. Im not angry it's clear he is very unwell hopefully in time after he has received so much needed help things can go back to how they were.. Who knows. He knows I will always be here to support him but right now my priority is our children and his family are providing the brunt of his care and pathways to help.

We've been married 8 years, have 2 children and one due in 4 weeks.....!!!!!

I am a self employed with an income of around15,000 per year, not great but my job enables me to work very flexibly and do all the school runs and look after my toddler full time, as I'm currently pregnant with baby no3, I will be receiving no wage but maternity allowance from April. This was all a great carry on when I had a working/helping husband to share the load and the bills.

Now I'm up shit creek. We have no savings due to a recent extension. We own/ mortgage are home; and also have one we rent out, our rental home we don't make any money on the same person has lived there 10 years. The rent pays for the bills and mortgage so it does have equity if it was sold.

I've done a benefits calculator and due to owning another house I'm entitled to nothing. Is that correct? My husband has no job and is MIA leaving me effectively a single mother of 3 living off £6-700 a month. Our bills alone cost about £1400.

What can I do? How am I going to live. I don't have anyone I can ask for help. No family. Wouldn't ask friends. His family although supportive don't have means to help with money. I obviously need to sell the rental
House and get the equity to live on for now? Providing my husband is even in agreement with that it could still take months - panicking. Already rung and cancelled sky but that's a drop in the ocean really. Any advice?

How long was his notice period. Is he on sick leave or has he totally left ?

To prove negative equity, the DWP would need to see a written valuation of the likely sale price of the property and a mortgage statement showing the outstanding balance.

@LakieLady

To prove negative equity, the DWP would need to see a written valuation of the likely sale price of the property and a mortgage statement showing the outstanding balance.

Who would pay for the valuation?

You don't have to pay for a valuation. We've had our house valued by several estate agents, with a view to putting it on the market, and never paid for it.

Given the buoyancy of the housing market I suspect very few properties will be in negative equity niw, particularly as 100 - 125% mortgages are a thing of the past. Can you look on zooplankton to get some idea of sale prices in the street to get a rough idea of what equity you might have?

If you sell the rental property you may still not get any benefits surely as you'll have the equity - effectively savings?

Hope someone can tell me I'm wrong.

What an absolute arse of a man!!!

@olaamigo

If you sell the rental property you may still not get any benefits surely as you'll have the equity - effectively savings?

Hope someone can tell me I'm wrong.

What an absolute arse of a man!!!

Yes exactly. If over 16k equity/ capital left after any fees/ debts paid off there is no entitlement to UC. Once this amount drops below 16k there would be reduced entitlement for anything over 6k.

How awful for you.

Firstly, I’d contact his employers. He’s clearly had some kind of nervous breakdown. Ask for him to be put on sick leave and disregard his notice. Put this in writing. Do they have sick pay?

Secondly, I’d get a mortgage break on your mortgage on your home. Keep paying the one on your rental through the rent - it’ll be like savings accumulating for when you do sell it. Is this rental jointly owned? If so, you’ll need your husbands permission to give notice to quit and to sell. It’s not going to be an immediate solution.

I’d contact his family. While they mightn’t be able to help financially, they may be able to get him to engage with medical practitioners and you. You’re having a baby in 4 weeks time! You need this support.