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Original poster

Partner leaving - house problem

24 replies

Slycat · 02/03/2022 17:00

Hello

Wondering if anyone has any advice

My partner is about to leave, at the moment we are not divorcing and will remain friends

We have 3 children who will live with me

I will live in the family house partner will move out

My problem is once they move out I will pay all the household bills, mortgage and general repairs

Is there anyway I can stop my partner demanding in 12 years time once the youngest hits 18 that the house is sold and equity split

My concern is now I am paying all the bills they are not contributing but can still get half the equity, I will in effect eventually be paying the mortgage off

House is brought between us

I am hoping there is a way to get an agreement that the equity they have in the house now is what they get when the house is sold

Any ideas anyone?

OP posts:
Canyouhearmehello · 02/03/2022 17:09

Get your house valued by 2 or 3 estate agents. Make sure they give it you in writing. This should ensure that when the house is sold your ex will have the proportion of the house sale as if were sold today. Hope that makes sence. Sorry for your breakup is painful x

Original poster
Slycat · 02/03/2022 17:16

That's a good idea

Some houses by us have sold recently and the value of those are on the Internet

We will also close our joint bank accounts so I can prove no more money was received

Just wondering if it came to it how much would a judge respect that or just say 50 50

OP posts:
Scottishflower65 · 02/03/2022 17:17

You can get a legal agreement on split of equity for in 12 years if your partner agrees. Your ex partner could equally claim that any gains in equity are offset by you living in a house which he partly owns (that you pay no rent to him for such use) and that he is effectively tying up cash that he could use now to make a better return.
What happens if he wants to buy another house?
As you will be paying all the mortgage, can you increase the mortgage to buy him out now? That would be the cleanest way to proceed.

Original poster
Slycat · 02/03/2022 17:25

Unfortunately I can not afford to buy my partner out

Taking over all the running costs will be expense as it is,

To but them out would involve taking out another mortgage on top of the existing one

OP posts:
pilates · 02/03/2022 20:01

I would get some legal advice

rwalker · 02/03/2022 20:02

The other side of the coin is he will ether have to pay rent or interest on extra mortgauge because of the capital tied up in the house .

Mia85 · 02/03/2022 20:07

You say partner but then mention divorce. Is he actually your husband? The rules are very different for divorcing couples compared to separating partners.

Mia85 · 02/03/2022 20:08

or wife of course.

Babyroobs · 02/03/2022 20:18

You would probably be paying much more in rent if you weren't able to stay in the house now.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 02/03/2022 20:31

You need to speak to a lawyer, if you are married and will be left as resident parent for 3 children you are likely entitled to than 50% of the equity. The opportunity cost to your career alone of being solely responsible for 3 children is huge. Presumably he wont be taking days off for appointments and illness. Its complicated and there are many factors to consider.

Original poster
Slycat · 02/03/2022 22:52

We are married but not currently divorcing, they are moving out and presumably not moving back in again

They will still still help with childcare as and when as we are still friends and could even go on holiday again in the future so it's an amicable split

OP posts:
Original poster
Slycat · 02/03/2022 22:53

I will get legal advice, it was more to gauge some opinions about what I could do before going down a certain path

It's a big decision

OP posts:
Original poster
Slycat · 02/03/2022 22:54

Thanks to everyone who has posted so far 😀

OP posts:
2DogsOnMySofa · 02/03/2022 22:59

Get it tied up legally. I got 3 estate agents valuations and we agreed that the middle of the 3 was the value we'd use. I then contacted a solicitor and my ex signed a 'deed of trust' which meant he'd remain on the mortgage but I was responsible for all bills and mortgage payments from x date. The deed of trust also meant that my ex was entitled to half the equity, as it stood on x date (the amount was stated in the paperwork). He would receive that amount when the youngest dc was 18 or I sold the house. He wasn't then entitled to anything over and above that amount. So all remaining equity, when I sold or the youngest was 18 was mine alone. I also had to make reasonable steps to take over the mortgage as and when I could.

You need to get this all tied up via a solicitor, otherwise you're right, he will be entitled to half the equity when you sell. You could have paid off all the mortgage and he'd get half

2DogsOnMySofa · 02/03/2022 23:00

To add, it doesn't have to be 50% if the current equity, it's whatever you after, in my case it was 50% as I also had a pension, but was the resident parent and inky working part time

Birkenshock · 03/03/2022 00:07

That doesn't sound right, surely?

Say hypothetically your house is worth £200K now with £100K equity, so you say that ExH should get 50K.

You then pay off the mortgage and in 10 years time the house has risen to £250K, whilst ExH can't get a mortgage because he's on one already, so has spent £120K on rent. So house prices have risen and he can't do anything at all with his £50K equity, whereas you now have well over £100K in equity. If he's paying rent on a property elsewhere, and you aren't paying him rent to continue to live in the home that he can't benefit from, surely the equity is just split when it's sold?

silentpool · 03/03/2022 01:59

Get it dealt with now, legally while you are still on good terms. When another woman comes on the scene, amicable goes out the window.

I'd get divorced too so that he has no ongoing claims against you. Win the lottery in 2 years? Get ready to write a cheque etc.

ThymePoultice · 03/03/2022 02:12

I think what you need is (still?) called a Mesher order. Glad that you’re seeing a lawyer. It’s too easy to fall into the “everything is amicable, we don’t need paperwork” trap.

Mia85 · 03/03/2022 20:25

OP the problem is that if you remain married without tying the finances up then you'll remain financially connected to one another. Either of you would be able to start the divorce and make a financial claim at any point in the future. If you are definitely separating permanently then the only way to get certainty is to have a divorce (or legal separation if you don't want to divorce) with a financial agreement that's been approved with a consent order.

You don't want to be in this kind of position in the future www.roythorne.co.uk/site/blog/family-law-blog/wyatt_v_vince_the_importance_of_finality (though there they did divorce, they just didn't sort out the legal side of the finances)

AnotherEmma · 03/03/2022 20:29

Why are you referring to your spouse as "they"? It's so tedious. Just say he or she, no one cares.

Get legal advice and a written separation agreement. No fault divorce is being introduced soon (April I think?) so you might as well get divorced tbh. But if you really don't want to do that yet, a legal separation with an agreement about the house should be the next best thing.

Viviennemary · 03/03/2022 20:35

Your spouse will be entitled to half the house when you divorce. Its a marital asset.

1Day2GoAgain · 03/03/2022 21:35

You are saying, that things are relatively amicable now

2 years, 3 years, 4 years etc in the future your Ex may meet someone else & want to buy another property. Oh they can't, because they still own half of your current property & a second property would be more stamp duty, etc

You are being very naive

Mia85 · 03/03/2022 22:05

@Viviennemary

Your spouse will be entitled to half the house when you divorce. Its a marital asset.
The fact that it is a marital asset means that it's in the 'pot' that can be split on divorce but there's no rule that it's necessarily split 50:50. It depends on the precise circumstances
SpacePotato · 03/03/2022 22:24

Could you sell the house now, split the equity and buy something cheaper/smaller for you and DC's?

Is there a reason you aren't divorcing?

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