Worried. Going from 2 incomes to 1

[Essexmate]

We’ve made the decision that I will not be returning to work after mat leave. Main 3 factors were

1. all my wages would go on childcare
2. Eldest has lots of medical appts, so along with school holidays etc we wouldn’t have enough time off between us
3. My boss is extremely toxic (v.small work place & he is heavily involved) and feel like this is my way out

Anyway, even though I think it’s the right decision I am really worried about money. So I’m a couple of months we (family of 4 (2a 2c)) will be living off £2,050 pm. I did a rough budget once and worked out that we’d have £500 a month after all bills but that would include food, which we usually spend £90 🤦🏻‍♀️ But I’m too scared to do it again properly.

Not sure what I’m asking really, for lots buzzing round! I guess that means no more holidays?Will we still be able to do fun things or will we just be living by the pennies? DD2 may not get the same experiences DD1 did because no money. Any practical tips? Was thinking of asking bank if we can go interest only for a few years but not sure if we should (or even can). We used to spend every penny of both wages pretty much so we will have a lot to cut down on but from where 🧐

I am hoping to find night work at some point but can’t be until DD2 (6m) sleeps through at night

You may also want to play the long game. 9-2 hours are like gold dust. Less benefit to you now but once children are school age they’d be ideal (if your workplace wasn’t toxic). It feels like it would be a bit tight and miserable tbh. If you don’t go back now, it’ll be a good 3-4 years until school for the youngest so it would be for a good chunk of time unless you picked up some work.

@Essexmate

The thing is, even if I return to this job we will still be in the same situation as the childcare cost is my entire wage. I will do the budget as suggested above and go from there. Sounds like I will need to find some work outside of DH hours (they will not allow him to consolidate days/hours)

I think you need to reframe your thinking about the childcare cost.

It is not all your wage. The amount might be the same, but your DH has equal responsibility for funding it. It shouldn't all come out of your contribution to the family pot, regardless of how it correlates in money.

This will be the hardest time, until you can get some free childcare hours for the baby. Be very careful about damaging your longer term earning potential for the sake of finding a creative solution for the next ~3 years. It is hard to get back in after a period entirely out of your field. See if there is a way you can move to another part time role instead, to keep up your career, make money to contribute to the family, and at the same time give yourself the other half of your time at home and on appointments, which will itself reduce the potential childcare bill.

Your childcare costs will be your entire wage until they go to school.

With those magical, incredibly sought after hours it doesn’t look like you’d need much in the way of childcare once they’re in school. You’ll get the 30 hours free once they are 3 anyway.

Short term pain for long term gain. It is ridiculous to give up work on those figures. I get you have a horrible job and want to be a SAHM but this is still a silly decision.

And if your DH take home is 2k then he’s not important enough to command that he can’t do any of the pick ups/drop offs/hospital appts.

Be a team, both working and you will be much happier in the long run.

Could you do something like work for 111 part time?
I worked 3 shifts of 5 hours per week when my kids were small and I used to take home over £850 per month! Doing this incurred no childcare costs. That money saved us in those tight early days (it's not forever) and I did actually get some transferable skills and offers of moving up to management level while I was there.
I wouldn't go to no pay. It's too hard and your baby will be entitled to free nursery hours in a couple of years.

Too risky and too tight. I would not do it, you will loose your independence and will be completely relying on your husband salary, what if he loose his job. Do you have savings?

I would take a year off maternity leave and try to live for a few months on his income and see how that goes. Life is getting very expensive in the UK, food and bills are increasing.

I would suggest you return to your job and try to look for another part time job with more flexibility and better environment.

You are also l0osing on pension contributions, the opportunity of getting another job by being out of work for a long time. Also as people has said you will start getting free hours childcare when the child turn 2 and 3. I will got quickly.

I mean:I will go quickly

That’s very risky. You have £500 left for food and everything else. There’ll be no treats which you can cope with however having no room to save for emergencies, etc is risky. One of my old work colleagues took a year unpaid leave after her maternity leave and had to return 3 months into it because even though she thought her husband’s income was sufficient, when it came to it, they realised it wasn’t because there are lots of little expenses that one won’t normally think about when budgeting which meant they were having to use a credit card every month.
Childcare does not have to be nursery, you can use a childminder and they are cheaper. Both you and your Dh use your annual leaves for most of the school holiday.
Another option is to find a job that works around your dh, even if it’s 3 evenings a week and you can make an extra £500 a month, that’s better.