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Original poster

Child Support Query

16 replies

Prinnitie · 06/12/2021 13:56

Hi all!

I'm helping out a friend of mine and have a few questions.
He currently sends money each month to an ex partner with whom he has a child.

He is not on the birth certificate nor has he ever met the child, they have no contact other than him transferring her money each month.

Does she have rights to the payments, despite there being no connection at all between himself and his child?
He is considering decreasing the payments however unsure as to where he stands legally!

(I'm completely unbiased in this situation and not on either side.)

Thank you for any advice!

OP posts:
CorrBlimeyGG · 06/12/2021 14:01

Maintenance is not conditional upon contact. If he is the father then he is obliged to pay. Does he dispute that he is the father, does he want contact?

SilverHairedCat · 06/12/2021 14:02

Has he sought to confirm he is the father? DNA testing etc.

ToughTittyWhompus · 06/12/2021 14:04

Yes she has a legal right to child support, regardless of whether the deadbeat is involved or not Hmm

Skyll · 06/12/2021 14:07

Has he had a dna test?

Is he paying at the CMS level?

Original poster
Prinnitie · 06/12/2021 14:10

Little bit more info!

No DNA test has been done, but the resemblance is more than enough as his son is now 9 years old.
He has not sought contact, their relationship ended due to her being abusive, and this ended prior to her finding out she was pregnant.

Let me know if I need to get anymore info and I'll check it out!

OP posts:
Skyechasemarshalontheway · 06/12/2021 14:13

If he stopped paying she could go via the cma agency and they would if dad said he wasn't his confirm via q dna test he is and he would still need to pay.

If hes sure he is he shouldn't stop payments. If he isn't sure he should do a dna test but it would be cruel to do it just because he thinks he can get away with not paying.

CorrBlimeyGG · 06/12/2021 14:13

What more info do we need? He's not seeing his own child, he wants to pay less towards the child's upkeep.

Whatever you do, don't get pregnant by this 'friend'.

Original poster
Prinnitie · 06/12/2021 14:14

More info!

I've done a CMS calculation which advises he must pay £216 per month.
He currently is sending her £400 per month, and they arranged this between themselves.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 06/12/2021 14:16

So the short answer is yes, he could kay her less according to the cms
Why does he not want to see his child? That’s very sad.

Blossom64265 · 06/12/2021 14:19

The child has a legal right to financial support paid to the residential parent. The legal minimum amount is based on the non-residential parent’s income. There are online calculators he can use to see what the absolute bare minimum in financial support someone is allowed to get away with providing for a child.

Blossom64265 · 06/12/2021 14:22

Cross-posted, so it looks like he could legally pay less. The question is could he really live with himself knowing how little he is providing for his child? CMS rarely comes anywhere close to the half the cost of raising a child.

SilverHairedCat · 06/12/2021 14:25

He has a 9yo he's never met? Paying money doesn't absolve him of being a parent. Why hasn't he seen them in 9 years?

Udouhun · 06/12/2021 16:08

How someone looks means nothing. He should ask for a DNA test, then obviously if it's his child he should pay properly and seek contact.

Cocomarine · 06/12/2021 16:30

I couldn’t be friends with someone who:

  • didn’t want to know their own child
  • especially didn’t bother to be in their own child’s life when they know that means then having only one parent, who is abusive

And now you - I’m guessing you’re a shitstirring girlfriend, not a friend - wants to reduce the money that he does pay. 🙄

Blossom64265 · 06/12/2021 16:33

I really wouldn’t recommend he seek contact after 9 years. He missed his window. His child deserves stability, not a man trying to insert himself into the role of father.

Cocomarine · 06/12/2021 16:36

@Blossom64265

I really wouldn’t recommend he seek contact after 9 years. He missed his window. His child deserves stability, not a man trying to insert himself into the role of father.
Well, it doesn’t sound like he cares about the child at all, and his “friend” is only interested in reducing his financial support - so it doesn’t and like contact is of interest for this waster.

I disagree that in principle though, someone who actually wasn’t an arsehole could look at building contact. If the child was interested to, then a period of written then phone contact could be followed by supervised contact and that might long term work out well.

But, OP isn’t interested in what might be good for the child 🤷🏻‍♀️

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