Claim deceased parents pension or find out more ?

[DaisyStiener]

DP passed away when I was a child. I’m the only dependent and DP wasn’t in a relationship ( so no spouse etc) and no will left.

DGPs have “ hidden” /kept/stashed DP ashes but have never told me where ? I’ve tried to find out if they’ve been interred at local cemeteries etc but no joy. All family shut me down when , as an adult , I ask where they are.

Pension: so DP died young but paid into pensions.
How do I find out if DGPs are claiming the pension and not me? Am I not the next-of-kin? Or do parents of deceased override me?
Has anyone done this before ? I have basically no information on this: DP passed nearly 30 years ago
DGPs paid other surviving siblings a few thousand each, a few years ago - surviving parent thinks that this may have been DPs pension - as this would have been around the right age for it?

( I’ve received nothing from DGPs over the years,despite having a good relationship- or so I thought )

@Cocomarine

Yes! There’s a lot of talk about “older” people being lucky with gold plated pensions. But I reckon there’s a sweet spot of people old enough to have a DB pension, but young enough to enjoy the 2015 freedoms!

Me I guess.

Just wish I'd joined the Boots pension when I started working there instead of five years in 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm 53 now and it's worth £4k pa, which isn't bad really as it's only four years in it. Should have been nine!
But I now also have a DC pot I can use flexibly with that £4k as a baseline on top of state pension.

If they died very young and unexpected, and therefore hadn’t made a will - why do you think they would have started a pension?

@ivykaty44

If they died very young and unexpected, and therefore hadn’t made a will - why do you think they would have started a pension?

Why not? I worked for 3 different household names in very junior positions in the late 80s/early 90s (so 30 years ago timescale) and all had auto-enrolment to their pension scheme.

I actually think it was a lot more common for people to join pensions then as it was just expected, and they were better and it was pre the Maxwell scandal that changed the industry and made people very wary.

I joined at Boots when I was about 24, I didn't have a will then. I wrote my first will when I bought my first property aged 29.

Doesn’t matter anyways
Parent ( alive) is now shocked I’m investing it and have been told “ they can’t deal “ right now .. so apart from a few childhood memories, I’ve nothing to go on anyways

@DaisyStiener

Doesn’t matter anyways Parent ( alive) is now shocked I’m investing it and have been told “ they can’t deal “ right now .. so apart from a few childhood memories, I’ve nothing to go on anyways

That’s very selfish of them, I’m sorry.

With regards to the ashes, I’d go back to the family members, one by one, face to face, starting with your grandparent (presumably) that would have arranged the funeral and hard ball for answers.

Be prepared that they may be giving you the brush off because they didn’t take the ashes - not everyone does. Or, and sorry to be blunt - in 30 years someone may have mislaid them, and be unwilling to own to that.

If you can at least get the name of the crematorium, most are lovely places with memorial areas, which you could choose for yourself to be your “place” to remember your parent. You don’t need ashes for that.

These face to face questions may amount to no answer - but it may at least allow you to draw a line under it and try to accept that you won’t know.

On the pension… you’ve come back with nothing that suggests there was a pension, and nothing to suggest if there was that it wasn’t correctly paid out at the time.

You could put the wind up your grandparent by saying you’ve seen an article on the pension tracing service (Google it, it exists) and could they help with details about your deceased parent’s line of work, companies etc. See the reaction. Honestly though, given your living parent’s currently selfishness, I’m putting 2 and 2 together to make 5 and calling “shit stirrer” on their comment that the money to siblings was from your parent’s pension. They do not seem to be a helpful person to you here.

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not getting the feeling that any of your wider family would have been able to support your grief as a child adequately