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Original poster

Any other LPs trying to pay their mortgage off before the dcs turn 18?

17 replies

AgnesWaterhouse1566 · 06/11/2021 18:27

I suspect this could be a common problem- lone parent who relies on maintenance/in work benefits day to day but who has nine years worth of mortgage payments to come after the dcs turn eighteen.

I'm overpaying as much as I can and have a vague plan to pay it off in time but would be interested to hear from anyone either in the same boat or who managed to knock nine years off their mortgage whilst on a less than average income!

OP posts:
TiddleTaddleTat · 06/11/2021 20:59

I have a friend in this situation .
Mortgage free wannabe boards on Money saving expert might be worth a look. Lots of amazing stories there. Where there's a will there's a way!

SinoohXaenaHide · 07/11/2021 05:02

Unless the the DCs will turn 18 when you are 59 years old, you could always rearrange the mortgage at that point to spread the remaining repayments over more years to keep the amounts affordable. Or it might be that with no DC at home you can increase your earning power and replace the lost CM income that way.

Using CM and benefits to overpay a mortgage wouldn't sit right with me. If you are already on a lowish income then any funds that you are diverting into overpaying the mortgage are being misused. That money is supposed to be there for the benefit of your DC here and now, giving them what they need (and hopefully a bit of extra spend on things they don't exactly need but just want because its a miserable existence if you only get your basic needs met and nothing more). Overpaying your mortgage now is taking what should be enriching and improving your DCs childhoods in order to ensure you can live more comfortably in your 50s when you won't have much in the way of caring responsibilities and don't really need the extra support.

Overpayments are an excellent idea when there is genuinely money to spare in the household budget but it doesn't sound like this is the case for you.

Alpinechalet · 07/11/2021 13:24

Pp is right about extending mortgage term.

Whilst not everyone would like this option, if DC are at uni could you have a lodger in their room. The extra income would go towards the mortgage. You could offer term time only and/or Monday to Friday only so you still had a room for DC during the holidays.

Alpinechalet · 07/11/2021 13:24

You could even try air bnb

Rummikub · 07/11/2021 13:28

Yes me.
Providing a stable home is important.

coodawoodashooda · 07/11/2021 13:41

@Rummikub

Yes me. Providing a stable home is important.
Yes and your mental capacity to cope is of benefit to the children.
Rummikub · 07/11/2021 13:50

And having a stable home is part of well being.

Anyway it’s by the by as I don’t get maintenance as he’s withholding it. So I’m focussing on keeping the roof over our heads at least.

It’s a tricky balance.

coodawoodashooda · 07/11/2021 13:53

@Rummikub

And having a stable home is part of well being.

Anyway it’s by the by as I don’t get maintenance as he’s withholding it. So I’m focussing on keeping the roof over our heads at least.

It’s a tricky balance.

Youll get it eventually. Dont give up.
Rummikub · 07/11/2021 13:56

Thank you
That’s made me quite teary (shame)

megletthesecond · 07/11/2021 13:57

Yes. I'm very very lucky and almost there.
If I can get my youngest safely through secondary school then I'll go full time when she's at college.

SandysMam · 07/11/2021 14:04

I think given that young people rarely move out at 18 now days, Op IS considering the children. A stable home into young adult hood will mean they can explore education and job options without having to immediately pay their way.
I love playing around with the mortgage over payment calculator on money saving expert, you can knock years off your mortgage for the price of a coffee a day.

Original poster
AgnesWaterhouse1566 · 07/11/2021 16:31

Thanks for the replies. I agree a stable home is important and I'd hate my dcs to think in the future that I had to sell the home they grew up in as soon as 'their' money ran out.
I also agree that maintenance is to help them although for me that's tied in with the need for stability.
I'm sorry to hear your ex is withholding money Rummikub. I really do think the laws about this should be tightened up. Makes me furious about how many women spend their lives trying to do the right thing by their children whilst their fathers just bugger off. 😡

OP posts:
Rummikub · 07/11/2021 16:45

Yes I agree.

coodawoodashooda · 07/11/2021 18:48

@AgnesWaterhouse1566

Thanks for the replies. I agree a stable home is important and I'd hate my dcs to think in the future that I had to sell the home they grew up in as soon as 'their' money ran out. I also agree that maintenance is to help them although for me that's tied in with the need for stability. I'm sorry to hear your ex is withholding money Rummikub. I really do think the laws about this should be tightened up. Makes me furious about how many women spend their lives trying to do the right thing by their children whilst their fathers just bugger off. 😡
This. I think the fkrs should be branded. A big red x on their forehead.
GreenLunchBox · 07/11/2021 22:43

@SinoohXaenaHide

Unless the the DCs will turn 18 when you are 59 years old, you could always rearrange the mortgage at that point to spread the remaining repayments over more years to keep the amounts affordable. Or it might be that with no DC at home you can increase your earning power and replace the lost CM income that way.

Using CM and benefits to overpay a mortgage wouldn't sit right with me. If you are already on a lowish income then any funds that you are diverting into overpaying the mortgage are being misused. That money is supposed to be there for the benefit of your DC here and now, giving them what they need (and hopefully a bit of extra spend on things they don't exactly need but just want because its a miserable existence if you only get your basic needs met and nothing more). Overpaying your mortgage now is taking what should be enriching and improving your DCs childhoods in order to ensure you can live more comfortably in your 50s when you won't have much in the way of caring responsibilities and don't really need the extra support.

Overpayments are an excellent idea when there is genuinely money to spare in the household budget but it doesn't sound like this is the case for you.

And does absent fathers only paying a small percentage of their offspring's upkeep sit well with you or do you just reserve your vitriol for the women left to try and provide for their kids and their own future?
MovingtoEssex · 08/11/2021 18:01

@AgnesWaterhouse1566

Yes yes yes to overpaying!
I've 2 younger kids too and acutely aware of the knock on effect of dc1 reaching 18.
Their dad will have more disposable money, and us less.
I've been overpaying every month I can - doesn't have to be big amounts, just whatever is leftover (if anything).
Interest rates on savings are so poor that it seems the best thing to do.
Your DC will want a stable home to return to for a long time to come.
Good luck!
P.s. renting out a room is my back up plan

ivykaty44 · 08/11/2021 22:14

SinoohXaenaHide

don't you think lone parents have a hard enough time without you coming along and spouting sanctimonious drivel

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