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Original poster

Ex refuses to sign house over

54 replies

Leannedunn123 · 31/10/2021 08:18

Hi thankyou for trying to help me with my question.
My ex (father to our two children) left last June. We were never married and have a house together as tenants in common. I own 80% and he owns 20%. I live in the house with our 2 children.
His 20% is worth nearly £8000. I have passed all mortgage checks and can now take on the mortgage myself as since he left he never made one payment towards the mortgage and I earn enough to have the house in my sole name.
However he has now said that he won't sign which is frustrating.
I offered to pay £3000 repayment charges and all of the solicitors fees so all he had to do was sign but now he won't.
There has been domestic violence on the past which I have got the help I needed for with women's aid, my doctor and police so I went to the solicitor last week who said if he refuses to sign I can take him to court and get back missed mortgage payments of his 20% totalling over £2000, he will have to pay half the mortgage repayment charge I offered to pay of £1500, my solicitors fees which I'm not sure what they are yet and I can also sue for emotional distress for being obstructive so he would be lucky to come out with any money if it goes to court.
Does anyone have any advice please on how to handle this situation or when an ex partner was being purposefully obstructive?

Thankyou

OP posts:

Seasonschange · 09/11/2021 16:53

I would be really careful here. The solicitor can request that he pays all your court costs but the court may not agree with that and you may pay your own. Just something to consider before it gets that far.

Magstermay · 09/11/2021 17:28

I would also consider whether he actually has the money to pay your costs. If it’s more than the equity and he doesn’t have it, what happens then?

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 09/11/2021 18:20

His share is worth £8,000.

That is what I was worried about whether it actually means all my legal costs. Surely with him continuously being obstructive and not paying the mortgage for 18 months, being abusive and threatening and going back on his word of agreeing to sign the paper work but now changing his mind puts me in a good position in court. I even have said I'll pay all the early repayment charges to him and he still won't.
I hope the judge, if it gets that far, will see I've took on all financial responsibility and am just trying to get on with my life

OP posts:

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 09/11/2021 20:45

I'm starting to worry so much on my options if he chooses still not to sign it, I'm so anxious and worried about it

OP posts:

2catsandhappy · 10/11/2021 23:20

He is not the first to try and dictate what happens. The prevaricating, prolonging actions, changing his mind. The law has consequenses for all of this. You have had excellent legal advice.
The only thing that might happen, he will reluctantly sign papers and spend every day for the rest of his life, whinging to all and sundry about how he gave you his house, that you legally stole his house/home. That you took everything. He will set himself up as the martyr and victim of your insatiable greed. So brace yourself for that. It is a very common theme for ex's.

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 11/11/2021 07:19

@2catsandhappy

He is not the first to try and dictate what happens. The prevaricating, prolonging actions, changing his mind. The law has consequenses for all of this. You have had excellent legal advice. The only thing that might happen, he will reluctantly sign papers and spend every day for the rest of his life, whinging to all and sundry about how he gave you his house, that you legally stole his house/home. That you took everything. He will set himself up as the martyr and victim of your insatiable greed. So brace yourself for that. It is a very common theme for ex's.

I completely understand what you mean with his behaviour. I do hope the law has consequences for it. I'm trying to juggle 2 jobs and both his children and paying for the mortgage he left me with. It isn't fair he can call the shots. I pray he signs it because I worry not all my court fees will be paid by him, especially because what he is entitled to £8000 doesn't even cover his own legal costs of court let alone mine. I feel he is using the children as a weapon saying he won't sign till we go to family court in Feb and he gets to see them. It's so frustrating

OP posts:

WickedWitchOfTheTrent · 11/11/2021 07:31

You may find you have to pay half the court costs, however he will also have to pay half the mortgage payments he's missed, solicitors fees, early repayment fees etc, so it actually all balances out. Don't stress about It all, once it's done just think how much happier you will be.

NothingIsWrong · 11/11/2021 08:19

Why isn't he seeing the children now? Because of the violence?

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 11/11/2021 10:48

@NothingIsWrong

Why isn't he seeing the children now? Because of the violence?

I stopped him from seeing the children back in July for 2 weeks because he was putting them in the boot of his car so him, his new girlfriend and her 2 children could all fit in the car together, rather than taking 2 separate cars when going out. During that time he applied to the court for a child arrangement order saying I had stopped him seeing them, but I started to fall behind with the mortgage payments having to give up 3 days of work a week to look after them so he started to see them again for the weekends and things went back to normal for a bit. He presumed because he hadn't heard back from the court about it that the court had just 'forgot' but it is because the courts are so back logged. They then contacted me the last week of September asking the real reason why I stopped contact and I said because of the car thing, and the children have said they don't want to see their dad because they are having to sleep in his girlfriend's bed together while he and her are on a blow up bed downstairs. He doesn't take them to their swimming lessons that I pay for and my daughter was constantly coming back sore in her area because he wasn't washing them and when he was the soap was so strong. He just wasn't doing a good job and the kids were starting to notice. My son begged me not to send him to his dad's, he really hates going. So i received a report from the court saying indirect contact only till the court date in feb. The first weekend was continous calls and texts, demanding me when I need to be free so he could speak to them on the phone. I looked at my phone once and it had 11 misses calls on, so I blocked his number and it's been that way for 6 weeks. Sorry it's so long.

OP posts:

Gingernaut · 11/11/2021 10:52

OMFG!!

I'd have called the police. That's disgraceful!

They're his children and that's the way he treats them???

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 12/11/2021 06:39

@Gingernaut

OMFG!!

I'd have called the police. That's disgraceful!

They're his children and that's the way he treats them???

I later found out it wasn't one of our children he put in the boot, it was one of his girlfriend's children and they travelled on the motor way. My ex's mum also knew about this and never reported it to me. I just though if she doesn't care about her own children, she certainly doesn't care about mine. He's very irresponsible.

OP posts:

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 15/11/2021 16:46

It has been a week since he received the letter and I haven't heard anything from my solicitor about him responding with the documents. One week left to hear from him but I'm not holding out much hope

OP posts:

Weenurse · 17/11/2021 10:24

You never know, he may see some sense.
Or pigs might fly.
Good luck

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 23/11/2021 09:55

He never replied!!! ☹️

OP posts:

Marmight · 23/11/2021 14:46

You now have to take him to court and his (lack of) action has a consequence.
You can do this

Chilver · 23/11/2021 14:54

Not the response you wanted unfortunately but you now must follow through with taking him to court otherwise he will never, ever listen to you again. Good luck, you've got this.

Weenurse · 26/11/2021 22:29

Good luck 💐

Viviennemary · 26/11/2021 22:37

If his share is £8k then surely he is holding out for his £8k payment. As for putting children in the boot of a car that is totally illegal and should be reported to the police.

Cakequeen1988 · 28/11/2021 00:01

Unbelievable!

I’d instruct your solicitor immediately to take him to court, he obviously thinks he leads the narrative and you need to show him how strong you are

saleorbouy · 28/11/2021 00:12

Get your solicitor to send a letter defining the 3 options he has to sign over his 20% starting with your very reasonable offer and ending g with the worst case.
Hopefully he will have the gumption to do the best thing and sign the papers.

RandomMess · 28/11/2021 00:19

Onwards to court then.

silentpool · 28/11/2021 00:29

My ex-husband refused to co-operate till he got the notification of the court date. It's worth doing. Getting it finalized will be such a weight off your shoulders!

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 28/11/2021 08:05

I hope this makes sense to everyone.

I had an official surveyor from the bank value the house at 175 to remortgage with but he had lex Allen in who valued it at 190 but I've tried telling him that's because they want you to sell with them so of course they are going to put the price up, but he is blinded by the money.... So I'm now paying my solicitor the hourly rate to write another letter outlining what he will need to pay if he doesn't sign and it goes to court.

If the court believe the house is 175 his 20% is worth 7,800 but he will have to pay £4,200 in costs that I have already offered to pay which are (18 months of missed mortgage payments, early repayment charges, broker fees, solicitor fees and that's not including the court fees). So he will walk out with pretty much nothing.
Even if the court says actually it is worth 190, his 20% will be worth £11,000 but he will will still be paying the £4,200+ worth of charges so he will walk out with £6,000 or less after it's been deducted.

What I am offering now is the best offer.

I hope my solicitor gets through to him.

You guys are really keeping me going. Thankyou 😊

OP posts:

Marmight · 28/11/2021 20:19

If the surveyor was a RICS one, this would effectively top trump an estate agent.
I personally wouldn't bother with another letter from your solicitor, go straight to court.
The court papers will have what you're claiming as part of the case.
Good luck

Original poster

Leannedunn123 · 28/11/2021 20:37

@Marmight

If the surveyor was a RICS one, this would effectively top trump an estate agent. I personally wouldn't bother with another letter from your solicitor, go straight to court. The court papers will have what you're claiming as part of the case. Good luck

It isn't a RICS one. But if it goes to court it will be a RICS one so it's bang on accurate. I said to my solicitor to take it to court now and she said if she puts all that in a letter what I said previouslu with all the individual amounts (and I pay the hourly rate) it will open up a flow of communication for her to explain it to him that £7,800 is the best he's going to get. Thankyou for taking time to answer 😊

OP posts:

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