Hi all- has anyone else had issues (probably opening up a huge can of worms here lol) with CMS?
My son (now 10) hasn't seen or heard from his "Dad" since May 2017- basically we used to live in Manchester but my son was approaching school age and I was sick of his Dad not bothering yet my Mum being heartbroken at being 60 miles away from her only Grandchild.
I discussed with my ex wishes to re-locate to benefit our son, better school, a more rural setting, and close to family etc (by this point my ex has a new partner and child, and could go anything between 4 and 10 weeks without arranging to see our son- and it was only when he slotted in to their plans). He was very supportive and said he thought the move was a good idea and would give our son a better and safer environment to grow, and he would be happy to have him for full weekends etc).... for the first 18 months he saw his Dad perhaps 6 times, and the time between visits grew each time, and my son began to say he didn't feel part of the family at his Dads, he didn't enjoy going there as he never felt included etc and he would get upset when going.
The last time he went was Bank Holiday weekend May 2017- and before I had even got home from dropping son off (his Dad would never collect him I always had to drive and meet him halfway)- he was messaging saying our son had been upset and crying and he was "such a Mummy's boy" etc- and after that he never contacted me to arrange to have him again- I didn't contact him due to the fact I knew my son didn't want to go there, and also out of sheer morbid curiosity as to whether his Dad would ask to see his own child- he didn't, and hasn't since. I never get texts to ask how he is, and he hasn't sent a birthday or Christmas card since :(
After the initial non-contact regarding seeing his child he started to mess around with the money he would send, which we had agreed between us originally, but he kept reducing it for various reasons- I think this was his final bit of control and I think he enjoyed me texting him asking where the money was, as a single Mum and as much as I hated to admit it, but I did depend upon that money- so I said I would have to get CMS involved.... which in the end I did- fast forward to July 2020- and numerous reconsideration requests from him, he finally stated he was no longer at his job, and since then I have received a few pounds here and there through CMS collect and pay.
In May this year I discovered he had set up his own Company, has his own website with his mobile number on, their home address is the registered office, he is constantly posting "live" jobs (he is a recruitment consultant), and these are high paying roles he recruits for, circa £80k salaries- I work in recruitment and I know for a permanent role of this salary he could easily be asking for 10 to 12.5% of that salary as his fee - and he has numerous jobs on the website. I have sent the CMS all the evidence I can and STILL they take his word that he has no form of income and is "financially supported by his wife"! Now I am told unless he admits to paying himself a wage, or me sending them the company accounts (which aren't due til Feb 2022) they still don't have sufficient evidence!!??) they state he could have been made redundant from his last job due to COVID and maybe they weren't doing very well so had to let him go- why on Earth would someone who has just been made redundant or left a job because the company was struggling then go ahead and setup on their own doing the exact same thing?!?! Why would someone be advertising these £80k jobs daily offer to do this for free?! How can he pay for the rented office space if he has no income??
Has anyone else had any experience of this and had any success?? I am so frustrated that he can just decide one day to cease all contact and then also to just stop paying a penny! The last payment I received was in February for £6.73- they state as its collect and pay, they cant send me anything if he doesn't send it to them.
Every time I get a glimmer of hope he has to start paying, he asks for it to be reconsidered and it always goes in his favour! Even now they say it looks like he has been in work since 1st September, and he hasn't told them, yet they are still dealing with his last reconsideration from June!?? He was told to pay me £105.00 per week but he states as he wasn't working in June he shouldn't have to pay anything, even though he is now working and has been since September, and hasn't informed them, which he is obliged to do??
Why does the burden of proof continue to fall on me?? Sorry I know I am moaning but I am just so frustrated with it all, I needed some reassurance that it isn't all a big bag of sh!te and it will improve LOL