Sharing finances with partner on maternity leave

[Eg1870]

Hi,

Me and my partner are currently expecting our first child (unplanned pregnancy but very excited never the less) and im wondering how other people share finances? We do live together but don’t have any joint bills currently, as we are living with my mum at the moment so just paying her board individually, and we are in the process of saving up for a mortgage deposit. We have the same monthly income as we work at the same place, and currently our wage is our own but come maternity leave, obviously things are going to change dramatically for me. After my board and all my individual bills (car finance, insurance, phone bill etc), I am going to have around £100 spare when on maternity, whereas obviously my partner will still be getting his full time wage plus any bonuses (we work in sales). His monthly outgoings are also not as much as mine as he doesn’t drive, after his own bills, my partner will have at least £800 (that’s basic wage it will be more if he gets any bonus), but obviously we do also need to save a portion of what we have spare towards our mortgage deposit. I’m just wondering what other people would do in this situation and what you think the best way to share would be? I really don’t want to be having to ask him to send me money all the time as I’m so used to being independent and having my own money.

Similar approach to PPs here. We're several years further on than you (DC are teenagers now) and in that time I've had maternity leave, part time working, now closer to full time again - which means my salary has fluctuated and now DH is a much higher earner than me even though our earnings were similar when we first met.

We have a joint account and all bills are paid from it (eg childcare; mortgage; credit card for food, petrol, family days out; etc.) We also have savings pots for holidays, house expenses like a new boiler, etc.

We add up our total combined income, take off the amount that needs to go into the joint account and each pot above, and whatever amount is left over is spilt in half for our personal spend eg on clothes (for us not DC - all DC costs are joint) going out with friends, etc. We both have the same amount each month to spend so neither of us has to ask the other for money or justify how we've spent it.

This works really well for us. I personally don't like the idea of doing it as a % (eg one partner earns 30% of the total household income so pays 30% of the bills and the other earns 70% so pays 70% of bills) because the lower earner is still likely to end up with less personal spending money - and especially once you have DC if the lower earner is part time and doing more childcare or household work/admin I don't think that's fair or a good set up for an equal partnership.

Sorry, bit of an essay! Hope that helps

If he doesn't want to share money I'd be high tailing it back to work as soon as possible and charging him 50% of nursery fees instead.

Whatever you do don't let

@MoneyMeMe

Similar approach to PPs here. We're several years further on than you (DC are teenagers now) and in that time I've had maternity leave, part time working, now closer to full time again - which means my salary has fluctuated and now DH is a much higher earner than me even though our earnings were similar when we first met.

We have a joint account and all bills are paid from it (eg childcare; mortgage; credit card for food, petrol, family days out; etc.) We also have savings pots for holidays, house expenses like a new boiler, etc.

We add up our total combined income, take off the amount that needs to go into the joint account and each pot above, and whatever amount is left over is spilt in half for our personal spend eg on clothes (for us not DC - all DC costs are joint) going out with friends, etc. We both have the same amount each month to spend so neither of us has to ask the other for money or justify how we've spent it.

This works really well for us. I personally don't like the idea of doing it as a % (eg one partner earns 30% of the total household income so pays 30% of the bills and the other earns 70% so pays 70% of bills) because the lower earner is still likely to end up with less personal spending money - and especially once you have DC if the lower earner is part time and doing more childcare or household work/admin I don't think that's fair or a good set up for an equal partnership.

Sorry, bit of an essay! Hope that helps

Completely agree with this.