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Original poster

Friend asked me to be Executor - Too much hassle?

33 replies

Walkingalot · 06/10/2021 16:16

Hi.
A friend has asked me to be the executor of her will. She has 2 adult DC's, one of which she doesn't get on with and is refusing to pay back a loan. My friend wants to make sure her assets would be divided equally, minus half the unpaid loan amount. She doesn't want her DC's to be Exec's.

Would I be responsible for selling my friend's property/belongings/car - rehoming pets, settling unpaid debts - basically everything? Isn't it a tall order for someone who has no financial interest in this? Could I suggest she appoints a solicitor? But even then, who does the leg work in these situations, the beneficiaries? I assume the solicitor would take a fee for being Exec. Assets worth around £100K.

Any advice would be appreciated. TIA.

OP posts:
TheWoleb · 06/10/2021 16:19

Could she not just have a solicitor act as executor?
Just get good recommendations so you dont get one who does anything naughty!

MilduraS · 06/10/2021 16:45

Is go with a solicitor as executor. Far less hassle. I think you would get paid any expenses but it's still a big hassle, particularly if one DC attempts to dispute the will.

TidyDancer · 06/10/2021 16:48

It's a lot of work. I would do it for a good friend, but definitely don't agree without being certain you're okay with it.

bigbluebus · 06/10/2021 16:58

Yes you would have to do all the leg work for no benefit and may come under fire from the DS who gets less because of the outstanding loan - even though there's nothing you can do about it. I'd be very wary of taking on this role. A solicitor could deal with it easily but obviously there'll be a cost to the Estate (so ultimately a reduction in the amount the 2 sons inherit).

HollowTalk · 06/10/2021 16:59

Does anyone know what a solicitor would charge in those circumstances?

WhatDidISayAlan · 06/10/2021 17:05

I've asked my friend to do it (and she agreed) because I don't have parents/siblings/husband/kids. But, I've told her that she needs to use some of the estate to engage a probate solicitor to assist - it's a big job to do on your own (I've had to do it three times). The only reason I've asked her is to make sure the solicitor doesn't charge a percentage of the estate, but a fixed fee, and to ensure valuables go to the right people.

gogohm · 06/10/2021 17:08

I think it's possible to get a fixed or percentage fee for being the executor. I wouldn't do it for non family unless very close friend who had no family

LittlePearl · 06/10/2021 17:10

I've been an executor, alongside a solicitor. I think that's quite a good way forward.

Some work for me but mostly for the solicitor.

ZealAndArdour · 06/10/2021 17:11

It’s pretty normal to leave some money for the executor in your will. I’ve just been helping my dad sort his will out and he’s left the other executor £1000 so that they have something to show for the work that it might take. In reality they’re unlikely to need to do anything, as I’ll most likely be doing it all but if I can’t then they can step up.

AndOtherStories · 06/10/2021 17:13

It's really expensive to name a solicitor as executor, but if the executor is unwilling or unable to act, a solicitor can be appointed to act in their place when the time comes.

I have to admit, having being executor for DH whose estate is very straight forward, all passing to me and whose affairs I was well acquainted with, I wouldn't want to do it for a friend. It's not difficult, but it is far more time consuming than I realised, even in this very simple situation.

austenprejudice · 06/10/2021 17:22

Firstly, it is a nice compliment to be asked to be an executor. It certainly shows that your friend trusts you.
DW has recently been executor for her late Father.

  1. check that a solicitor has drawn up the will that you will be enforcing.
If it's an amateur job insist that she goes to a solicitor forthwith. You do not want the hassle of a disputed unclear document.
  1. you are entitled to cover all expenses that you incur.
superking · 06/10/2021 17:29

Personally I would probably say no - I have been an executor for two family members and it is a lot of work. If I did agree I would want to make sure that she had drawn up a proper will via a solicitor (ie not a DIY will) and had made plans to reduce the burden for you as much as possible (eg all paperwork in order, clear instructions that you can use a firm for house clearance/ car sale etc even if that reduces the value of the estate).

longtompot · 06/10/2021 17:32

You don't get paid for being an executor unless you have it in writing from the other named executors. I don't think beneficiaries are included. The only reason I know this because my bil has just taken on all of my fils probate etc and has informed us that he has taken back the expenses that he has personally paid out (which is correct) but also that he will tot up how much he thinks he should be paid for his time. We actually wanted a solicitor to deal with all, it would have saved a lot of pain and misunderstanding, which he said was too much money. It will be interesting to see what he asks for.

RedRosie · 06/10/2021 17:38

We have named friends as executors rather than the kids (for various reasons, but mainly to relieve them of the burden at a distance). We have however, in our mirror wills, left quite a chunk of money to the executors (who offered and have done it before a few times). And we have made additional provision for them to use a solicitor as well (or instead) should they want.

Wegobshite · 06/10/2021 17:40

I’m just doing my dad estate for my sister and son who are the beneficiaries
House to sale
Life insurance policies
It’s not that hard if you have everything to hand and don’t have to hunt for stuff
My parents both had wills and both had a death box 😂
That had stuff like where the will was kept
Bank accounts
Insurance policy’s
Pensions

NI number
Funeral plans
I’m using a probate company to do probate as a full inheritance tax form needs to be done which is more complicated but I did my mums probate myself
But using the probate company it’s cheaper than using a solicitor I’ve paid £795 inc vat & probate cost itself
Banks can cost ££££ as it’s often a percentage of the estate

Original poster
Walkingalot · 06/10/2021 17:41

There's lots to consider. I think I'll have a chat with her and find out what the concerns are. My thinking is, if she has everything written up properly in her will, incl the deduction of the loan, then it should be straight forward. Maybe I'd consider being co-executor but just for signing off paperwork etc.

I may be back!

OP posts:
MurielSpriggs · 06/10/2021 17:44

Do not do it! Apart from anything else you are accepting a risk of huge personal liability if something goes wrong and one of the beneficiaries loses out. In doing so you are just saving the sons the cost of a solicitor - no benefit to you, or your (dead) friend.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 06/10/2021 17:51

I would say no. It is a massive administrative chore, and can be fraught with ill feeling - in this case you already know there are issues. I just wouldn't take that on for someone I am not related to.

StCharlotte · 06/10/2021 17:55

She has 2 adult DC's, one of which she doesn't get on with and is refusing to pay back a loan. My friend wants to make sure her assets would be divided equally, minus half the unpaid loan amount.

For this reason alone I absolutely wouldn't do it. And probate is my job. She needs to appoint solicitors.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 06/10/2021 17:59

It is a lot of work but if you appoint solicitors to work for you whilst you remain executor it basically works the same as them being executors and you just sign the forms they prepare. I did it this way for my parents, it does cost, but no more than if they were appointed, the fee comes out of the estate and you are kept in the loop as to what is happening.

Lovelydovey · 06/10/2021 18:02

Agree with all of the comments above. And make sure there is clear documentation about the unpaid loan or that it is reflected in the will.

Original poster
Walkingalot · 06/10/2021 18:22

Lots of great advice and valid points - thanks everyone. I'm seeing her tomorrow for a chat about it.

OP posts:
Jduh · 06/10/2021 19:02

I'm executor for my best friend. Her husband died in 2019 and she has one son. Everything will go to him. She has shown me where all of her documents are and has a very clear official will.

Thelonelyranger · 06/10/2021 20:22

I wouldn’t do it, these can drag on for a very long time.

Stuffin · 07/10/2021 08:22

I have been an executor for my mothers will. It is a long drawn out process if there are assets like a house to sell. You are also liable if things go wrong and a beneficiary claims you have not acted properly. I did it because I was a beneficiary and was happy that I fully understood the legal process/form filling.

I would not do it for free for a friend even with expenses. It isn't worth the hassle, liability and time. They would be saving a lot of money from the estate appointing you as an executor instead of a solicitor and even expenses does not cut it because I am sure you can't claim for your time unless the will specifically states you get x amount.