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What's fair in this situation?

3 replies

Trying2DoRight · 30/08/2021 17:17

I'm looking for some honest opinions on my situation please. I'll try include all relevant details!

We are not in UK.

I've recently moved in with my mum, after her sibling who she shared her house with passed away. House was in siblings name, and was left solely to my mum by them. Her sibling paid all household expenses prior to death. The house is a period property, which hasn't been maintained for years. Needs new everything!
I also recently separated from my husband (not dc dad). The plan was we would all move in to house, and we would pay to renovate property as Mum couldn't afford to.

When I moved in, I took over paying said expenses, which total c520 p/m.
I earn around 1500 p/m, Mum's pension comes to around 880 p/m. I no longer will be able to afford to do the planned renovations. I am also now left with only 130 p/m after all said bills and my own fixed expenses are paid.

Would it be fair to ask my mum to contribute something towards the bills, seeing as my circumstances have drastically changed? When we spoke about it prior to me moving in, she had agreed to pay something. I haven't outright asked here since I moved in, as she keeps making noise about not having much money.

I'm swinging between no, as I am living rent free here, and yes she should pay something, as I have a dependant child and no security!

OP posts:
TheLittleRedToothbrush · 30/08/2021 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Taswama · 30/08/2021 17:30

That doesn't sound very sustainable.
Can you sit down with her and be completely honest about your income and existing costs and see if you can agree what is feasible in the short, medium and long term?
Period properties can be money pits, you don't want to spend loads in it but its still all in her name and ends up being sold to pay for her care.

Trying2DoRight · 30/08/2021 18:21

Thanks for the replies.

I'm relieved to hear others think it's not sustainable!

No, she doesn't do any kind of regular childcare (as in she would help out if I had an appointment or some such, but I basically work school hours so not needed apart from that)

Neither of us can face selling the house, but it would probably be for the best Sad

I'll have to bite the bullet and sit down with her and have a frank conversation.

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