Help me adult

[Cherry4weans]

Background:

I did a lot of things in an unusual order -
4 kids young, then my degree, then marriage. As such I'm in a rented place with no savings. I'm 38. My kids all have additional needs so I'd ideally need a flexible school time job. My degree is English Lit but only grade 3. My husband works part time minimum wage to be around for kids and my health conditions. He is going back to uni so all being well will earn 35k in 4 years.

My question is what steps do we need to take to be stable and secure?

My ideal comfortable living would be -

Own 3 bedroom property (around £100,000 in my area)
A regular holiday
No debt (currently about £9k)
And basic private health insurance

Is this even possible in my lifetime? What do I need to do? I'm willing to dig in.

For the house you first of all need a deposit. 10% I believe is the current expected amount. Plus fees and money to furnish it. So I would say a minimum of 15/16k before you start.

A permanent job to prove your wages when the mortgage goes through also. A mortgage company/bank can confirm this though for you. I would say a mortgage of 90k over 20 years would be around 500/550 a month.. but you would need to check this and the rates. That’s only my guess.

In terms of debt and a holiday, that’s all about money management and saving up. So whatever you earn minus what is left after bills and food etc, what amount of that can you save for a holiday or use to clear debts? That’s really only something you can decide.

The next steps sorry, personally I would try to save the deposit while DH is studying. So both work what jobs you can to save this. Then once he is working full time and permanently speak to a bank about what they can lend you based on your joint incomes.

Also, long term, if your DC are still living with when you buy a house, and you need to be home a lot, I would probably look for a job around DHs working hours. Then there is always one of you there for them. There’s evening and weekend work in retail for example if that’s the hours that would suit.

So you’ve got 4 DC, with additional needs, you have health issues and there’s only 1 part-time wage coming in? I’d say you’re doing very well to only have £9K debt!

What’s the rental situation- is it secure (housing association or council) or private landlord? Is it a 3-bed at the moment or bigger?

How old is your DH? If he’s going back to uni part-time around the job, what’s the timeline you’re realistically looking at for £35K salary - and how guaranteed is that, what sort of course?

The best thing to do for now would be a term-time job and to tackle the debt.

Hey @Cherry4weans you have asked a really smart question. Not what you need to do to get a house, but what do you need to be stable and secure.

Being stable and secure also means adding two other things to your list - putting money for retirement and having an Emergency Fund. This means you can take those holidays every year guilt free, knowing your future is taken care of.

I recommend Dave Ramsey’s baby steps. He is American, but the order he prioritizes things makes sense, when you consider your financiers as a whole (not as a short term thing) and the system he uses seems smart and full of quick wins to motivate people. You can check him out on YouTube for free, but it goes -
Baby Step 1 - save a $1000 Emergency Fund
Baby Step 2 - pay off all debt (except your house)
Baby Step 3 - save a proper Emergency Fund of 3-6 months bare essentials living expenses
Baby Step 3b - save a house deposit
Baby Step 4 - put 15% of your income towards retirement
Baby Step 5 - save for kids university
Baby Step 6 - pay of your mortgage ASAP
Baby Step 7 - live and give and enjoy your life.

You do steps 1, 2 and 3 in order, then 4, 5 and 6 at the same time.

But listen to Dave on YouTube. You will be motivated and inspired. He goes one further than you and says the aim is to get to retirement with a paid-for house, and an income in retirement to live off so you can retire with dignity. It sounds like you have about 22-27+ working years left to make this happen - heaps of time if you focus and go out and do it!

Good luck!

we went for mortgage advise and the lady in the bank said Its only bricks and mortar.
you need a roof over your head but it is no imperative to have a mortgage to do this.

I’ll add - after you listen to Dave, you’ll start to see what needs to be done yourself. You need to both earn more income and cut your expenses. So yes, a job for you and a big look over the budget to trim everywhere you can. And then over it again!

But listen to a few of his YouTube’s. He is consistent with the message of those steps, he explains why that order makes the most sense to do it in and he rightly says that he has helped a lot of people get out of debt and financially secure that way…..so what do you have to lose by committing to follow his method for 6 months or 12 months?

I would forget about the private medical insurance tbh. It's hideously expensive for decent cover (assuming you want cover for the six of you). The rest of it seems very doable 😊

Best of luck and some good advice already given.

With existing medical conditions I think private healthcare would be unrealistic as the price would be too high. Unless you can aim for a job where it's included as a benefit. Even then though it will probably only be for the person working and not the family unless you get to a senior level.

If you are in the UK then private healthcare isn't likely to give value for money. Private healthcare only does what's easy, they push you back onto the NHS for anything complex.

Are you claiming all the benefits you could be claiming for your children - DLA, Carers Allowance while you aren't working?

Are you in a council property? If so, I would advise you to stay there. You don’t have to own your own home to have stability. Council homes offer great stability. You’re a low earning family with four children with additional needs. That is unlikely to change dramatically, even when your husband finishes his degree. If you’re not in a council property, I’d make that your aim so speak to your local authority. After that, pay the debt, build a holiday fund, build an emergency fund. Lots here can help you with these steps.

Thank you all, I'm working my way through this great advice and taking some notes.

Lots of good advice above, but work wise I think you need to get some career advice aimed at prof PT working parents or people with health challenges. Job in retail etc could be great to tide you over but the money will always be poor, and it makes having done a degree a pointless.

What about Virtual PA work from home? Getting ever more popular and if you have an English Degree then that’s attractive to people. Do you enjoy organising? Do some research into that. If you think your health could stand up to primary or special needs teaching you could look at that too - maybe start by trying TAing.

could you do online tutoring?
or teaching foreign students online?