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Please help me plan my wedding

31 replies

Kayl23 · 26/08/2021 18:11

Hello,

My partner and I are due to get married 15th October 2022. We're also due our first baby 27th January 2022 and obviously I will be going on maternity leave. Clearly, I have put myself in a horrific financial situation haha! We have discussed pushing our wedding back a year, but I would really prefer to try and keep it as next year by keeping things as cheap as possible but still nice. The venue cost isn't an issue as we're lucky to be getting help with that from family, and my mum is buying my dress. But everything else still needs booking and paying for. We are decorating the venue ourselves so really im looking for any advice on how to do that for as cheap as possible (we're having an autumnal theme, think candles and pumpkins). Also need to figure out what to do about a photographer, invites etc.

Im really hoping there's some mumsnetters who are good at finding a bargain or how to make the most for your money! Would also love to hear any stories of peoples own weddings and how they kept the cost down! ☺️

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 26/08/2021 19:06

I kept my florist bill down by having lots of autumnal looking foliage like hops and heather and gyp and only a few actual flowers. It looked great. Worked really well for an Autumnal wedding but it probably wouldn’t look so good for a summer wedding.

You can also save money on a DJ by making some playlists and hiring some decent speakers.

weewoman123 · 26/08/2021 19:13

If it's autumn you could probably gather some leaves which could be used in clear vases with a battery operated tea light as centre pieces. Favours can be cheap with some sweets. My friend had a wedding where she bought mini packets of love hearts and put one at each place setting. We created our own invitations and printed and cut them ourselves so you can cut costs quite easily.

Bridesmaid dresses could be sourced at outlets and suits could be sourced from a chain and haggled if you buy a few. Probably look at a local jeweller for cheaper wedding rings and they may even be able to help with the design.

We bought fairy lights and plastic flowers online as additional decorations. As for catering we went to a wedding where they hired a hog roast company and made their own accompaniments. I appreciate not everyone would like these ideas but you might find some inspiration in there.

grey12 · 26/08/2021 19:20

The best advice I can give you is forget it's a wedding. People get too stuck in the idea of wedding inside their head and go "bridezilla" about it

Think instead of throwing a great joint birthday party Grin with your family and friends. How would it be? Do you really need favours? Do you really need seat covers for perfectly reasonable chairs? ..... there's a lot of unnecessary expenses in creating not a great gathering, but the "perfect wedding"

LawnFever · 26/08/2021 19:29

How many people are you inviting and what time of day are you due to get married?

Aim for the ceremony as late as possible, then go straight into the reception with buffet food, don’t have a sit down meal & food again later.

Don’t have loads of bridesmaids, see what suits people already have that are smart, matching everything isn’t very on trend anyway.

You can make your own invites on Canva.com - loads of free templates and get them printed yourself, or tbh just email people- they just need to know where & when, spending loads on invites is a waste.

Forget favours, nobody cares, they just get wasted & thrown away at the end of the night.

We didn’t have a cake, nobody even noticed!

I can’t abide the ‘cutting the cake’ fake posed photo, and most weddings I’ve ever been to the cake gets wasted - unless you make sure it’s served up properly as desert.

MerryMarigold · 26/08/2021 19:30

I had a home made wedding. My mum made my dress, I made bridesmaids dresses, mum did flowers, friends did decorations. We got someone who was starting out to do the food. I would definitely rope friends in. My reception decor all done by friends and I actually had no idea what it would be, they knew color scheme. It was a great surprise!

GalaxyGirl24 · 26/08/2021 19:34

We kept costs down with:

  • Evening do only so ceremony 3pm onwards till late.
  • homemade bouquets of fake flowers for me and bridesmaids
  • A pizza truck instead of sit down meal, better for the kids, more relaxed and cheaper overall!
  • A drink on arrival and then buy own from the bar
  • My dress was off ASOS and then I had it tailored and embellished so it was my dream dress. I bloody loved it and all in all was about £350/400 total
LawnFever · 26/08/2021 19:39

Oh we refused to pay for chair covers either, in the end the venue threw them in for free.

Don’t spend a fortune on cars, book an exec taxi firm or do you know anyone with a smart/classic car?

Kayl23 · 26/08/2021 20:02

Thank you for all the replies, some of these suggestions are amazing! I literally know nothing about planning a wedding so finding it pretty stressful even without the cost 😂 our ceremony and reception is all at the same place so people won't need to pay for travel between thankfully and we won't need to put any transport on!

@weewoman123I love your idea of collecting leaves and using tea lights! I'm definitely going to have a trial run of that and see what it looks like, it sounds fab though!

@grey12 I actually love that advice, you're totally right... it is essentially just a big party so seems silly going over the top! I'll try and keep that in mind!!

@LawnFever Well we haven't even finalised the guest lists yet hahaha but approximately 100 people ☺️ I'd actually forgotten that favours were even a thing so I'm glad you've said that! I don't think I'll bother with them then. The people we're having as bridesmaids/groomsmen etc won't mind anyway I'm certain of it.

@GalaxyGirl24 We had thought about a pizza truck, do you mind me asking how much you paid for yours?

OP posts:
Kayl23 · 26/08/2021 20:03

@ditalini Thank you for the link I actually love those! Do you happen to know how many bags she needed? I might start ordering little bits and bobs each month now

OP posts:
LawnFever · 26/08/2021 20:28

Another thought - hair & makeup, I’m glad I had a hairdresser do my hair properly because they styled it in a way I couldn’t have done myself & it stayed nice all day/night.

On my make up, tbh I could’ve done it myself - I wish I’d spent the money on going to a nice makeup counter, getting them to do my makeup and then buying some lovely new products I could use again.

I probably would’ve spent the same, but I’d have had all the products too!

If you wear makeup & you’re planning on doing so on your wedding day that’s definitely a good option.

Kayl23 · 26/08/2021 20:37

@LawnFever Oh god that's another thing that I'd not even thought about!! I'm absolutely clueless! I think I will do my own makeup though, I like your idea of just spending on decent makeup instead. I think if I practice before the wedding I'll be able to do something I like on the day. Is it expensive to get a hairdresser to style your hair? I think I'd need someone to do it, I'm rubbish at hair!

OP posts:
delilahbucket · 26/08/2021 21:00

I made our invites using the free Canva app and then got them printed via www.printed.com. £80 ish for 60 x four page invites and envelopes. Would have been three times that if someone had done them for me.
We got empty bottles from a local pub and battery lights on Amazon for the evening and they looked fab.
I got table runners for free on Facebook from a wedding group.
I bought flat sheets from Asda to use as tablecloths.
I got adult bridesmaids dresses from Little Mistress and girls from Black Butterfly. The boys had hired suits. Their shoes were picked up in the sale.
I did my own make up and actually looked like me!
I got my shoes on eBay.
We didn't have a package deal wedding, we booked every element separately.
Evening food was literally pizzas and salad at £4.50 a head. It was demolished!
We utilised recommendations from local people on Facebook.

delilahbucket · 26/08/2021 21:03

I forgot to add, all of our evening invites were sent out digitally to save on stamps.

LawnFever · 26/08/2021 22:30

@Kayl23 I think I maybe paid £80-£100 for a hairdresser but she came out to me, if you went to the hairdressers and booked in for an updo or whatever it was you wanted I think it’d be cheaper

Daisy4569 · 26/08/2021 23:25

I’m getting married this autumn (hopefully after a covid postponement!) and had a little one in early feb this year so totally understand the budget issue.

I ordered packs of wedding invites from a stationery shop and wrote them rather than getting printed. We are decorating ourselves using a load of fairy lights in wine bottles, LED tealights in jars (used hessian etc to jazz them up), Ive used natural stone, wood etc for the centre pieces and table names/place settings. Raided family garages for wood to make my own signs and ordered dried flowers (with the added benefit of them lasting if we had to postpone again). I’ve actually loved doing it all and family have enjoyed getting on board with all the making.

My friends are going to do hair, make up and photography. They aren’t professional but good at what they’ve offered to do and I want it to be a relaxed day, I hate all the usual fuss!

I’d just say get organised and try and do things before January as time flies when a little person arrives! Oh and enjoy it :)

Graphista · 26/08/2021 23:57

My wedding was on a budget too so I totally get where you're coming from. Then later in life I ended up working in the industry for a while (markups are INSANE)

Date wise was just after a "romantic" "public holiday" so I went into the shops the day/weekend after this and snapped up leftover decorations.

Bit trickier for you as it's just BEFORE the associated event BUT you may be lucky and be able to get Halloween/autumn themed stuff online now fairly cheap.

Re buying the dress great of your mum to help but be good to keep that cost down too. Boutiques sell last season and former display dresses at a discount or if you're open to non traditional styles/colours you could go bridesmaid lines or high street selections. Same applies to veils and shoes. Tbh you're very unlikely to get a bespoke new dress at this late stage anyway.

Very very easy to make your own jewellery and even tiara if you're that way inclined or know someone who is.

Ditch the non essentials like favours, seat covers, centre pieces for tables (honestly once the settings and wine are on there there's little room anyway and guests in their finery "naturally" decorate the venue) as even done cheaply it's an additional cost you simply don't need!

Make your own stationery super easy just printed off or if you do want to go a bit special hand written invites for example using metallic pens or calligraphy if you or someone else has the skill look perfectly acceptable. Hell you could do e-vites!

My cake I kept VERY simple, 2 tiers one plain one fruit so that most people were suited and it was the dessert.

Buffet meal (we had lots of different dietary requirements and allergies to consider anyway, a sit down option would have been impossible!) but it was catered so a served buffet as it were and everyone then got to choose but felt looked after

Only bouquet was my posy, I made satin bags for the bridesmaids and flower girl to carry, the flower girls dress was made/donated by her mother as a gift to us she looked gorgeous!

Hair I had done by my usual hairdresser in a fairly simple style with silk flowers included in the style. Where I cocked up on the hair was I wore a crew neck t-shift to go to the hairdressers and couldn't get it off over the hair safely! Mum had to cut it off me! (Old t-shirt thankfully) I went to her and quite honestly on the day it was nice to have an excuse to get out the house for a bit and have a bit of peace and normalcy!

Make up I did myself (I HATE people touching my face and I hated the idea of the super heavy make up the majority of MUA go for especially for weddings) including my nails which were simply trimmed, filed and painted by me. I can't do false nails, but admittedly they weren't really a thing back then anyway. I bought new make up and nail Polish but my usual brands and liked choosing the colours myself as I knew what suited me.

Rings were from Argos! £75 for both! That's a very personal choice though. Ex and I weren't really fussed about this.

My earrings were also Argos but actually with hindsight I wish I'd made my own as I'd have liked something a bit different

Photographer is tricky as I'd normally say that's the one area you don't want to skimp as that's the most long lasting part of it all! But you can shop around/get recommendations and choose the least number of photos options and don't bother with their album/frames as it's easy enough and quite enjoyable to get your own frames and an album and sort all that out yourself.

Graphista · 27/08/2021 00:00

Sorry on the cake I meant to say very simple design too just plain white main icing with our 2 wedding colours as border loops (hard to explain) then a relative found a quirky vintage cake topper on a day out by pure chance! Phoned us to check if ok to get and they got it for us and gave us as a gift it was perfect!

Kayl23 · 28/08/2021 10:11

Thank you so much everyone these replies have been so helpful and literally halved my stress levels!! Especially just reading your comment @Graphista I think you've just planned my wedding for me! 😂

OP posts:
StarfishDish · 28/08/2021 10:19
  • I had a button bouquet I made myself. Literally cost £15 to make. My bridesmaids had flowers from Home Bargains with hessian wrapped around the stems.
  • Invitations were off Etsy. The seller personalised them for us, gave us the download link and we had them printed professionally. This came to about £40 in total.
  • Bridesmaid dresses were from Dorothy Perkins sale. £40 each.
  • Decorations were from charity shops and car boot sales.
  • Wedding cake was a supermarket own character cake. We had loads of compliments on that as it was so unique.
  • Photographer was a friend who does photography as a hobby.
  • Make up by myself.
RandomMess · 28/08/2021 10:32

Photographers are expensive decide whether you want them professionally done or have a friend to do them (and risk they may not be good).

I would speak to your parents about their budget and what matters to them - less on a dress and a contribution towards a photographer perhaps?

I've been to weddings with just buffets and they've been great also prefer late afternoon ones so it's ceremony and food no separate evening do with more food etc.

PostMenPatWithACat · 28/08/2021 10:43

OP have you thought about getting married quietly before the baby arrives and then having a wonderful christening party later on? Just a thought.

OatyBarKid · 28/08/2021 10:58

We did it on the cheap as well...I'm just cheap Grin

We didn't decorate the hall as such, it was a village hall and to decorate it properly so it didn't look half arsed would have been too much, so we just decorated the tables to pull focus to them. We got all the flowers from Tesco and vases from pound land, water jugs and glasses from Wilco's. Fabric table cloths and used little charms and ribbons to decorate around the vases.

Booze was from Aldi, my brother made cider, lots of mixes and non alcoholic options.

Cups and saucers from charity shops for those who wanted teas and coffees.

Food was homemade, we had salads, quiches, pies, a BBQ, cakes, cheese cakes and gateau for sweets.

We got plastic plates and cutlery that looked real, mainly as we wanted to use it again for camping and meet ups.

Cake was a basic two tier lemon sponge with white icing decorated with fresh flowers, ribbons and charms.

Oh and party bags for the children to keep them occupied, plus skittles, hula hoops, balls and set up an area for them to play.

My dress was in the sale, husband's suit was from next. I didn't get hair or make up done and our photographer was a local chap who did it more as a retirement hobby. I think it was £200 for the ceremony, family and guest photos. The reception was photoed by a friend.

Kayl23 · 28/08/2021 12:40

@StarfishDish charity shops for decorations is such a good idea!!

@RandomMess My partner used to be in bands and the guy who did a lot of their photography now does wedding photography, we're meeting with him tomorrow and hoping he says we can have a discount haha! He does do an hourly rate though so we're thinking about just booking him for 4/5 hours just to cover the ceremony and reception rather than the whole day because friends and family can take lots of photos of us getting ready and at the party but etc ☺️

@PostMenPatWithACat We're not bothered about being married before baby comes and neither of us are religious (infact quite the opposite haha) so we won't be getting the baby christened anyway ☺️

@OatyBarKid Love the idea of party bags and a play area for kids I'm definitely adding that to my list!!

OP posts:
PostMenPatWithACat · 28/08/2021 13:44

Interesting Kayl23. If the marriage has no spiritual meaning to you and is just a legal agreement then I can't see anything to prevent you from nipping to the register Office with two witnesses and having a party at a later date. That would seem sensible to me if money is an issue and doesn't conflate the concept of marriage with a wedding extravaganza party.

However we kept costs down as follows:

Reception held at home half marquee only
Allowed booze to be bought at trade price - in fact we bought it in Calais!
Simple food prepared by local caterers
Used garden flowers for table arrangements
Own cars with ribbon
Off the peg frock, altered to fit
Local women made the cake/did the flowers - cake was plain and scattered with fresh flowers - 2 tier, royal iced.
Late ceremony so only one reception
Local photographer.