Fair way to manage money between couples

[techiemom]

I just wanted to find out what couples do to manage their money. Specifically, if there is large(ish) difference in salary? What about during maternity leave or if one person has to go part time?

Something reasonably fair but also something quite easy to manage.

Thanks in advance

One pot for bills & expenses, one pot for savings and equal personal spending money

We do it on percentages - ie we both put 25% of our income to cover mortgage and bills, 25% savings, 25%, 25% fun money etc. That way neither are paying disproportionately more/ less of their income.

If your income was reduce to SSP (which I believe is way below even minimum wage?) then other half would need to reduce the amount put into savings/ fun money to ensure essentials are covered.

We also do it on percentages to cover the bills so although the amounts differ it still leaves the same percentage of "fun money".

We only do joint money for bills, childcare and shopping. Savings is separate (as you actually can get more via interest rates although low) so is general fun money. But we take it in turns for days out etc

All into a joint account for us. We have both supported the other at some point though DH now earns 5x what I do. Its all family money.

@whiteroseredrose

All into a joint account for us. We have both supported the other at some point though DH now earns 5x what I do. Its all family money.

Same here.

Always had joint money. Everything into one account, everything out of the same account. Family money, is family money.

We have had a joint account since we were married. All money gets paid into it and we both spend whatever we like; and we have equal savings. He has mainly earned 10x what I do.

Both have wage paid into personal bank account then DD across enough to cover bills and food. Pop more across if needed

money goes into joint account then split between general, bills and savings and the same amount each into personal account. I earn more but it all goes in together and we get the same amounts each

Everything in one pot and treated as "family money" - he was very insistent on this even though he is the higher earner as it's the setup his parents had as his mum was a SAHM. Equal cash amounts (not % of income) into our individual investment accounts and SIPP (i.e. me working less due to mat leave, childcare etc won't disadvantage my personal finances). We manage budgets and investments together. It helps that we have a similar outlook when it comes to spending and are both pretty frugal, so rarely any disagreements.

@BeaBeaBuzz

One pot for bills & expenses, one pot for savings and equal personal spending money

This. We've each earned more, or less, than the other over the years, but it's always all gone into the c same, joint current account, and we really don't monitor how much the other spends. I think our marriage would be in trouble if we felt we had to do that.
Once you have children all expenses become family expenses anyway.

Bills/everyday spending account which is joint.
Savings account which is joint.
Personal accounts where we transfer an equal amount of money monthly. (This works better for us that the "family money" option as DH is a spender and I am a saver, so this means he can spend all "his" money without me glaring).

I think if either of you have children that aren't joint or significant assets from before getting together, then this approach would probably need tweaking.

So we've been living together 4 years although together 10 and now just married. Since living together we have a joint account for all household expenses, so all bills, mortgage etc. We actually use our American express card to get cash back and pay it off monthly out of the joint account. We earn roughly the same so we put in almost 50/50 he chucks in an extra £50 as he earns a little bit and it evens it out a tad.

Savings we have our own accounts but they can be used for collective things. We were considering getting a joint one for household things such as saving up for a new kitchen. But just haven't got round to doing it yet.

Agree with what someone said about the interest rates working out better. We have an account with a cap you can put in each month so works out better we each have our own to get overall better interest.

@cumulonimbus523 I think this is the crux for many people you have to have the same attitude to savings and spending for it not to cause issues.

My DH does stocks and shares investments for savings which for me feels too risky and then he spends remaining on his hobby which is fine but would annoy me to spend the money he does on it if shared money.

The most important thing is to do what suits you and your family best.

Sometime MN can annoy me with "it's all family money everything and anything". I would never expect DH inheritance for instance to be my money. Its from his family loss not mine and for him to choose what he wishes to do with it.

Both salaries go into the joint account together and is viewed as family money. We pay for everything from that account and chat about any significant purchases that we need as individuals. This approach has worked well for us during 2 maternity leaves and multiple job changes where we have each had different salaries. It helps that we largely have the same ideas about what is good value and how best to spend / save money.

Been married 30 years tomorrow, everything in joint accounts

All money into joint account. All money is family money.
Dh earns 3x what I do and doesn't begrudge me a penny.
Kid expenses are joint, maternity was covered joint etc. Never had an issue.

Everything into a joint account. We only discuss big (to us) purchases but neither of us are big spenders tbh. Some months I earn more some months he does but we don’t keep any sort of “score” it’s all just our money.

We have a joint account where solely household bills / children's bills come out of (s/sheet to work out how much needed plus bit extra for saving, and then divvied up on % wages)

Then own separate bank accounts to do what we want with the rest

Are you married? That changes my answer.

Unmarried, pre-children, we contributed as percentages to a shared pot for bills & food according to salary, and the rest was ours to spend as we liked on clothes, going out etc.

Unmarried but in a more established relationship with a mortgage, we did the above but the shared pot had more shared expenses - holidays, savings for property upgrades, car and travel expenses.

Married, we went to all shared but equal spending money for limited stuff. This meant maternity leave, kids expenses etc all covered. Clothes, phones, shared leisure expenses etc come out of the family pot for all, so spending money is just for if you’re socialising alone with friends or fancy a really expensive item you’re saving up for.

In my experience the least fair way is one partner (usually the bloke) pays the fixed bills and the other takes on the variable expenses like food and clothes and days out with kids. That tends to be quite unequal as circumstances change.

Basically good communication is at the heart of it all, deciding your joint priorities as a couple.

Pool everything. Small amount of 'spending money' each to separate accounts. After many years of both working I recently became SAHM to DC3 who has extra needs. I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that without equal access and equal say over our income.

Not married, two kids. We have a joint account that pays for mortgage, bills, childcare, food kids activities, house and car repairs. We have a budget for what needs to go into that and we pay in depending on our income e.g. when I was on mat leave I paid in 20% of the total expenses and OH paid 80%. He still ended up with more spending money than me. Now he’s off work and I’m paying 90%. We adjust as things change.

@whiteroseredrose

All into a joint account for us. We have both supported the other at some point though DH now earns 5x what I do. Its all family money.

This. I find it so weird that people have different amounts of 'fun money'. Everything we earn is chucked into the one pot and everything left after bills is split equally.

Joint when married, 50/50 prior to that. Part time would be a whole other discussion but I’d only subsidise that if the other was ill amd needed to reduce hours for a while.