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Original poster

Maintenance and free school meals

31 replies

Nunny9 · 05/08/2021 09:13

My ex wife and I have been separated for 3 years and lived apart for over 2 years. I continue to pay the mortgage for the family house and some other additional costs for the children. These amount to more than I would pay using the Govt maintenance calculator.

My ex is working PT and is claiming some top up benefits and is claiming free school meals for the children.

My concern is that she is not declaring the money I pay (so she has no housing costs, other than bills). Other child related costs I pay directly ie clubs/uniforms etc

I'm worried she may be claiming money she isn't due and what would happen if she was 'found out' - or are the payments I make irrelevant to how her benefit entitlement is calculated?

OP posts:

milkytwilight · 05/08/2021 09:52

Declaring to who exactly? Child maintenance isn't taken into account for FSM and (I believe) other benefits.

Comedycook · 05/08/2021 09:53

I don't believe child maintenance is taken into account for benefit claims and FSM.

Haskell · 05/08/2021 09:55

It's the benefits eligibility that trigger FSM. Maintenance isn't taken into account for benefit eligibility AFAIAA, probably because it can fluctuate so much (parent paying maintenance loses job, has another child, etc etc).

Theunamedcat · 05/08/2021 09:57

Its not taken into account because historically the paying parent is unreliable

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 05/08/2021 09:57

She doesn't have to declare child support, it isn't included in the calculations.

I have to ask though - why are you concerned? She's the one who would be in trouble.

megletthesecond · 05/08/2021 10:30

I don't think it's taken into account for home owners or people without housing costs.

DiamondBright · 05/08/2021 10:37

It isn't taken into account, or really any of your business.

afromom · 05/08/2021 10:42

Child Maintenance is not taken into account for the resident parents benefits claim. DSDs DM is in the same situation as your ExW. DP pays maintenance and lots of other things for DSD (he also gives her extra money to top up her school dinners , to buy an extra drink, etc). This doesn't affect what her DM can claim at all.
I'm not sure why you are worried, perhaps (being generous) in case your child suffers if her DM is sanctioned? Or perhaps you think you don't need to pay what you do if she can claim stuff for free?
We have always taken the approach that DMs finances are her business and we will help out every way we can to give DSD the best quality of life we can, regardless of her DMs income.

namechange30455 · 05/08/2021 10:42

Child maintenance isn't included in benefits calculations.

How do you know so much about what benefits she claims anyway?

Datingandnoideahowto · 05/08/2021 10:45

What everyone else said. Child maintenance isn’t included in benefits calculations. It used to be, but so many nrp weren’t paying they changed the rules and it’s now excluded.

CallMeNutribullet · 05/08/2021 10:54

Sorry pal, you're not going to get one over on her this way.

matthancockslovechild · 05/08/2021 10:57

You resent your children getting a free school meal. Wow....

liveforsummer · 05/08/2021 11:21

She doesn't need to declare it. Why would it concern you anyway?

spongedog · 05/08/2021 11:21

You might not be aware that for every eligible child on FSM (or PP) the school get extra money for supporting students. It is very helpful - so if your family qualify I really urge families to apply. Over the last year many LA's have offered holiday vouchers as well.

Your ex-W's household is separate to yours and her application will be on the finances of that household. It is good that you pay but the maintenance calculator is a bare minimum. Presumably she is P/T as she does more of the childcare?

Danikm151 · 05/08/2021 15:39

Child Maintenance is only included for calculations towards council tax support.

Generalpost · 05/08/2021 15:49

I agree with all the above.

But I can't tell if your asking because you wanted to check to see if you can report her .

It if you are genuinely worried she might get into trouble without realising it .

If its the 1st then it's actually your children you would be taking away from you might think you have one up on your ex but it's the children that suffer but may that does not matter to you. Are you bitter because you have to pay for your children and god forbid your children get a free school meal

If its the 2nd and your worried that she will be in trouble then don't worry to much. It does not sound like she's doing anything wrong and is doing the best she can to make sure the children are fed etc.

DrCoconut · 05/08/2021 17:36

I'm a bit sceptical about someone who is working even part time getting FSM for their kids. The income threshold is very low.

Generalpost · 05/08/2021 17:44

@DrCoconut

I'm a bit sceptical about someone who is working even part time getting FSM for their kids. The income threshold is very low.

My friend is working but she's still on uc as its part time she still get FSM.

unicornsarereal72 · 05/08/2021 18:13

@DrCoconut the rules have changed. When I first claimed UC there was no earnings limit so I was automatically entitled to fsm. Once awarded you keep them for six years or if the children go up to secondary. I would in no way be entitled to them now as I earn above the earnings limit.

GetTaeFuck · 05/08/2021 18:15

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NoSquirrels · 05/08/2021 18:18

When you say you continue to pay the mortgage, this is instead of child maintenance in your head.

But in reality that payment is the child maintenance.

Do you plan to get divorced soon? I’d do that sooner than later, makes the clean break easier and then you can get it clear in your head what you’re paying and for whose benefit.

Fiddliestofsticks · 05/08/2021 18:21

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LunchBoxPolice · 05/08/2021 20:53

These amount to more than I would pay using the Govt maintenance calculator
well done, Lord Bountiful.

IWantT0BreakFree · 05/08/2021 21:11

These amount to more than I would pay using the Govt maintenance calculator

The calculator shows the bare minimum amount you can legally get away with paying for your child. You don’t deserve a pat on the back for paying more.

Maintenance is not taken into account for FSM entitlement or (I believe) other benefits. This is because so many fathers are financially abusive arseholes who can’t be relied upon to pay for their kids.

You’ll have to think of another way to screw her over.

DiamondBright · 05/08/2021 21:11

@NoSquirrels

When you say you continue to pay the mortgage, this is instead of child maintenance in your head.

But in reality that payment is the child maintenance.

Do you plan to get divorced soon? I’d do that sooner than later, makes the clean break easier and then you can get it clear in your head what you’re paying and for whose benefit.

It sounds like he (making an assumption) is paying the mortgage but isn't paying maintenance, hence the justification that it amounts to more than CMS. Presumably the wife is happy with this arrangement, I wouldn't be I preferred a quick divorce and a clean break. These sort of arrangement never end well, as in this case The STBXH feels it gives them some a right to interfere and constantly mention how he pays the mortgage and eventually the house has to be sold anyway.

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