Helping Gen X parents

[Pepsi9090]

Hi all.

Looking for some advice and inspiration.

I'm late 20s, bought a house with DP, we are comfortable financially, both decent careers with decent savings for our ages. No plans for kids.

My parents have found themselves in a pickle. They've never been savers, don't own a house, think my mum has sod all pension as self employed, relying on my step dad as he has/had a decent career until now.

my step dad had a severe medical emergency, as a result, he can no longer do his job. It's currently all in the process of reviewing whether he will be medically fit for another role, but that's still up in the air. He will potentially get a redundancy sum of they go that route. He will also have a decent pension when he gets to retirement age, but he's a long way off that yet.

Either way, their income will be changing over the next 12 months.

I would like to help them in small ways, which won't completely ruin my own financial stability.

Do you have any suggestions how to? I thought along the lines of buying them groceries, sending £50 at the weekends so they can spend on a treat or whatever they want, taking them out to meals etc? I'm not really sure.

I can't afford to give them thousands of pounds in help in one go.

I'm at a bit of a loss if I'm honest, has anyone been in this situation before?

Please don't give them money, help with prctical things like budgeting. Why give them money for treats when they obviously haven't looked after the money they have had in the past. I'm probably the same age as your mum and would feel a failure if my dc had to bail me out.
You sound lovely, but it isn't your problem, when will it end, will you still be doing this in 20 years?

I wouldn’t give money but I’d offer support and my time to go through their finances.

They are my age! They need to take responsibility, work more in a job they can do and save. They really aren't your responsibility, your mum has 17 more years of working until state retirement. If they live in an expensive part of the country, now is a good age to relocate to somewhere cheaper

I would do as another poster suggests. Start popping some away in a separate account if they need "rescue" at some stage.

They may actually have more than you realise or be entitled to more than you realise and would potentially be horrified that you would be thinking along these lines.

If they are spending their money on designer crap then do not enable them. Concentrate on your own finances. Max out your pension pot. You are earning well now but one day it might be you that falls ill and it looks like your parents wouldn't be able to help you out.

@Cowbells

Don't give them money now. They don't need it now. He has full salary and they are daft with money, buying non-essential furniture. Put £50 per week aside into an emergency fund in your own name that you can then dip into when they actually genuinely need the money and are hard up enough not to waste it on trivia.

i think this is solid advice. put it aside - if they genuinely need it in the future then its up to you how/when to give. if they continue with the messy spending then don't, but if they find themselves in trouble after making significant spending changes then I could see how you would want to help.

you sound like a very lovely daughter/person OP.

You may feel that you can contribute but with them being 17 years+ from retirement agreeing to supplement them regularly is a bad idea. Your own life could change massively over that time scale (kids, redundancies, ill health, career change?) and you may need that money yourself.

Certainly be generous with presents, certainly have a rescue fund, but do not set up a regular payment to them.

Do not give them money, they will start to expect it... you don't want to go down this route!

Offer practical help, create an excel spreadsheet with money incoming and outgoing, etc. What can they put away into savings?

You are under no obligation to give them money.

I agree that you shouldn’t give them money now. He’s still in his full salary and I assume your mum is still working. You gave them some money and they got some unnecessary furniture! You need to sit them down and work out a budget. Obviously they need to start saving. You say they’re late 40s/early 50s, they could still get a mortgage if they wanted to.