csa and crafty conniving men

[nikkim]

I am currently sorting out the finances in my divorce, my ex works for the family and has always fiddled his maintenance, at present he pays £120 a week which although is a pittance in comparison to what he can pay it is a fair amount of money so I ahve jsut kept quiet. However to get me back for having the nerve to want items from our formal marital home my ex has hatched a plot to reduce hy maintenance.

At present he claims that he earns in the region of £18,000 a year, and as his accomodation is included in his living costs I get a third of that which equals £6000 a year or £120 a week. However he has just phoned to say that he is moving and his family have decided that they no longer feeli like including accomodation as part of his wage so he will ahve to start paying rent of about £700 a month. My ex laughed and said of course it was all lies and was just to punish me for daring to ask for things from our marriage. He said that the CSA will deduct these living expenses and then I will be entitled to 15% of what is left which will be about £120 a month. Is this right? If it is I will not be able to afford my mortgage and we will have to move away, taking my daughter away from her friends, family and her lovely school.

have just checked the csa website and I think ex has changed his circumstances so he can be reassessed under the new rules. This means he only pays 15% of his income which will work out at £52 a week, my maintenace will be halved. There is no way we can afford to pay our mortgage. I can't believe men can manipulate the system like this.

I'm afraid i know nothing about the CSA, but it sounds like your ex is a kniving little weasel. Can you not ring the CSA yourself and explain? They might be able to officially investigate him or something. Perhaps you have some old bank records you can wave at them? Sorry to hear bout this though - would be horrible if you had to move.

dont mean to b funny...but plz spare a thought for those of us who only get £35 a week for TWO kids....now this IS how the csa can f**k u up

I phoned the csa to complain that he was fiddling his maintenance when he managed to buy a house worth in excess of 1.5 million in london while on income of £18,000 a year. they did nothing.

I might see if I can skip the CSA altogether and have my solicitor deal with this.

I apprecaite that there are people who get less than me, and that is why I have kept quiet in the past, however I ahve a mortage to pay which will be difficult if our income is reduced by £200 a month.

solicitor prob wont help - i tried that - my solicitor said that he wouldnt even take the csa on because it would be way too costly & i still probably wouldnt get the right result

Could you shop him to the IR?

Out of that maintenance I am also having to pay off substantial debts run up by ex on designer clothes, gifts for other women and wine bars and restaurants. All of which ex husband ran up while his daughter and wife were living in hostels and b&bs as we were peniless but unable to get any help.

I have thought about this but it would mean taking on a national multi million pound company with a rather seedy side. Not quite sure if I have the guts or stamina to do that

perhaps the threat you could would be enough for him to carry on as previous- are teh debts in you name or is his on them as well

If you think that their, er, trading behaviour is not quite right IR and C&E (soon to be one mega dept) will be very interested.

You can do it anonymously

Why are you paying his debts?

I was very ill with depression when we divorced due to the abusive nature of our relationship, I was hospitalised and my ex took control of our finances. Being ill and too trusting I took his word that he had cleared our credit cards, he had except for the one which I was the nameholder, he just had an additional card. My ex phoned me one day to say he had spent thousands while I was in hospital on designer clothes etc. I phoned the credit card but because the card was in my name and he did it with "my permission" there is nothing they are willing to do. I am pursuing it through my solicitor but we have been advised that we are relying on his goodwill, of which he has little.

My current partner has tod me repeateldt to go the the IR as thet are a very well known company in the retail world. But I a, almost certain they would know it is me and as I have said they have a very unsavory side. I will consider it though. I would also imagine that they will have paid accountants and solicitors to cover their tracks.

you owe this man nothing he has treated you appalling ly and is now trying to make life hard again. I would exact what ever revenge I could if the right way menat I was penalised further. or is taht just me being vindictive

I am tempted t be vindictive but that can just eat away at you, and I just want to get on with my life, also even if I wanted to be vindictive what would I do???? I grew up with warring divorcing parents and it was hell, I don't want that for dd, although I am getting fed up of being walked all over,

nikkim - definitely consider contacting the Revenue and C&E. They may have collusion with their accountants but if they are a big firm they will use big accountants. Accountants now have to declare any tax avoidance schemes. If you have specifics as to how they might be underrecording sales etc IR and C&E would be very interested

Would be inclined to go the IR route too - chances are if they are that seedy they are being watched anyway.

do you want us all to boycott their products?

What a vile man. How little love he must have for his own daughter, that he would threaten her stability and happiness just in order to get even with you. Quite standard behaviour though; I don't think you've got any chance of getting him via the CSA, they're crap, the IR threat might be the only way. It doesn't sound like an appeal to consider his daughter's welfare will be of any use at all. It's not usually a consideration with men like this.

the sad thing is caligula he does love his daughter very much, even if he does not show it and his behaviour contradicts his love. My dd also adores her dad. When the two of them are together I can see the love pouring out of him for her, unfortunately he seems to be caught in this spiral of wanting to hurt me and come out on top. As angry as he makes me I do feel sorry for him.

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