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Original poster

Maintenance

48 replies

Nikkim123 · 25/06/2021 20:17

Hi
I've just received notification from child maintenance that my ex partners payment will be the Flat rate due to his girlfriend that he lives with claiming a benefit. However my ex partner still works and is earning 40k.

I've read up and it does state if paying parents partner claims a benefit the payment becomes flat rate. I just do not understand how this can be correct when he is still working in the same job. Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 26/06/2021 13:27

This can't be right surely. Could he have given up his job and become carer to her?

I just can't imagine any system that would see it right that an earning nrp could have to pay next to nothing because his partner isn't earning. They can claim PIP whatever his income so this seems so wrong in all account.

I'd feel so ashamed as a woman, whatever my situation, if my new partner stopped paying maintenance towards their child because of my situation.

Babyroobs · 26/06/2021 13:59

@vivainsomnia

This can't be right surely. Could he have given up his job and become carer to her?

I just can't imagine any system that would see it right that an earning nrp could have to pay next to nothing because his partner isn't earning. They can claim PIP whatever his income so this seems so wrong in all account.

I'd feel so ashamed as a woman, whatever my situation, if my new partner stopped paying maintenance towards their child because of my situation.

Not everyone unable to work would qualify for PIP though ? Pip is for long term disability wheras his partner could be claiming ESA as she can't work for some short term reason like waiting for an operation or something.
Original poster
Nikkim123 · 26/06/2021 15:47

She has a long term disability but can care for herself. He hasn't become her carer. I just cannot see how this is fair that kids and I could lose our home and they get his wages and her money. She had never worked in the whole time they have been together so they are now financially better off as she is getting this payment. So they have gained money and I've lost kids maintenence :(

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 26/06/2021 18:03

@Nikkim123

She has a long term disability but can care for herself. He hasn't become her carer. I just cannot see how this is fair that kids and I could lose our home and they get his wages and her money. She had never worked in the whole time they have been together so they are now financially better off as she is getting this payment. So they have gained money and I've lost kids maintenence :(
She wouldn't be getting a disability benefit if she couldn't care for herself or have some degree of difficulties with daily living and/ or mobility. If she is getting a benefit because she is unfit to work, then I guess their household is disadvantaged by her not being able to work and support herself. If it is PIP that she is receiving then this is extra money to pay for the extra costs that a disability brings . It would be interesting to know what benefit it actually is that she is receiving. If it is contributions based ESA that is the only thing that she is likely to receive if he earns 40k , then it is not a lot, around £75 a week. Agree he should still be paying for his kids on 40k bit just trying to think of the reasoning behind the rules.
Babyroobs · 26/06/2021 18:08

@Nikkim123

She has a long term disability but can care for herself. He hasn't become her carer. I just cannot see how this is fair that kids and I could lose our home and they get his wages and her money. She had never worked in the whole time they have been together so they are now financially better off as she is getting this payment. So they have gained money and I've lost kids maintenence :(
Just to say I too get baffled sometimes as to how some people qualify for disability benefits but they must have hidden disabilities ? I was at a work social event the other week and two people were saying they get PIP and I was honestly baffled as to how. One was hosting the event and was making cocktails, moving garden furniture etc, but we have to remember that these disabilities can be hidden as PIP isn't an easy benefit to claim.
Orf1abc · 26/06/2021 18:10

PlP is not one of the qualifying benefits.

If she is now in receipt of ESA then either, she has been for some time and they've only just decide to reduce your payment, or she has actually done some work in the past few years. It sounds like the former.

Babyroobs · 26/06/2021 18:17

@Orf1abc

PlP is not one of the qualifying benefits.

If she is now in receipt of ESA then either, she has been for some time and they've only just decide to reduce your payment, or she has actually done some work in the past few years. It sounds like the former.

Ok so if it is contributions based ESA she is unfit for work, it will be very little she's receiving, around £74 a week unless she's been assessed and in the support group, so it's not a lot really considering she might otherwise be working full time if she were well enough. It still makes sense that he should be paying towards his kids which it sounds like he still is.
unicornsarereal72 · 26/06/2021 19:18

Looking at the rules. Because my ex got medical pension. His £50k a year job doesn't come into consideration. How the fuck is that fair! Not that he pays anyway. Bet your arse if he knew that rule he would be all over it.

PumpkinKlNG · 26/06/2021 19:38

My ex gets pip, you wouldn’t know it to look at him but he has severe mental health issues, means he has only ever had to pay £7 a week maintenance.

unicornsarereal72 · 26/06/2021 19:51

Oh and his pension is the equivalent of a minimum wage job. I give up.

Original poster
Nikkim123 · 26/06/2021 21:35

It's so unfair. I feel so stressed with it all 😭💔

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 26/06/2021 21:53

@Nikkim123

It's so unfair. I feel so stressed with it all 😭💔
Are you claiming any benefits you may be eligible for as a lone parent?
Original poster
Nikkim123 · 27/06/2021 03:02

Hi she has never worked in the nine years they have been together , so this money is now extra for their monthly income. She has three children that are not his. She doesn't need a carer so I really don't understand this law. It just seems crazy they can have more monthly income yet not have to pay. My children are older and despite him leaving in awful circumstances (I was critically ill) and numerous let downs, I've always encouraged their relationship with their dad. However they both have said, if we have to sell our home at this point in their education due to him, they will have nothing to do with him again as he is earning and good money. I don't cope with stress very well, I let things really upset me and then can't sleep etc. I wish I was stronger :(.

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 27/06/2021 07:34

@Nikkim123

You are strong. Today you are struggling and that is understandable. Draft an email. And see what response you get. I know this may feel pointless ( I have spent years trying to get Money out of my ex and now see this rule and actually even with an income of over £60k. He legally only has to pay £7 a week This rule is so very wrong.).

Then make a plan. I'm sure you have done this already. Are you in receipt of all benefits. Etc. Cut bills etc right back. Shop at Aldi. I'm sure you do all this. Start small pot of savings. Just £10 a month. Takes that blind panic away. Can you out source some expense. I hate asking but one set of grand parents buy school shoes. The other the uniform. This made a massive difference to me. That they were sorted for school. And the grandparent want to help

Most of the time I expect nothing from my ex. I have moment when I think it be nice to do holidays. Or days out. Then I get upset because the quality of life my children could have if he paid what he should would be amazing. I know we are so fortunate to have what we have. And try to remember that each day.

Babyroobs · 27/06/2021 11:17

@Nikkim123

Hi she has never worked in the nine years they have been together , so this money is now extra for their monthly income. She has three children that are not his. She doesn't need a carer so I really don't understand this law. It just seems crazy they can have more monthly income yet not have to pay. My children are older and despite him leaving in awful circumstances (I was critically ill) and numerous let downs, I've always encouraged their relationship with their dad. However they both have said, if we have to sell our home at this point in their education due to him, they will have nothing to do with him again as he is earning and good money. I don't cope with stress very well, I let things really upset me and then can't sleep etc. I wish I was stronger :(.
If she hasn't worked in nine years I really don't know what money she would suddenly be getting although it is possible they may still qualify for some Universal credit on 40 k if they have 3 kids in the household, high rent and extra money for her being too unwell to work. The only other money she could be getting is PIP but that is extra money to pay for the extra costs of having a long term disability so can't really be viewed and general household money - although it does all go in the same pot I guess.
Babyroobs · 27/06/2021 11:22

Actually I just did a quick UC calculation based on their circumstances, based on him earning 40k, having 3 kids in the household, extra Uc elements for her being unable to work and him getting the carers element ( which he can if she is in receipt of a disability benefit ) and it actually works out to about £500 Universal credit per month even on an income of 40 K !! So shocking as this is, it could be Uc they are claiming .

Babyroobs · 27/06/2021 11:23

@Babyroobs

Actually I just did a quick UC calculation based on their circumstances, based on him earning 40k, having 3 kids in the household, extra Uc elements for her being unable to work and him getting the carers element ( which he can if she is in receipt of a disability benefit ) and it actually works out to about £500 Universal credit per month even on an income of 40 K !! So shocking as this is, it could be Uc they are claiming .
Possibly his partner is also getting child maintenance for her 3 kids yet yours has been reduced. Very unfair.
SpideyMom · 27/06/2021 20:11

The more I read the more unfair and vast these systems sound. CMS is terribly unfair, always has been, and now I am shocked to hear how a household earning 40k can Still qualify for UC of around 500, when me, earning 14k with a child gets around half of that. I have friends who earn 30k, 2 kids, one can't work due to health and their claim was denied. So I don't know who makes these decisions.

Seems extremely unfair and vast in who and how you qualify which of course makes it feel unfair to alot of people.

I really hope your children's dad continues to support his children. I imagine most would but I know if my son's dad was told he had to pay flat rate maintenance he would be punching the air in delight (like he did when he found out the mother of his daughters had stopped claiming maintenance)

namechange30455 · 27/06/2021 20:30

I didn't know about this rule but it's absolutely mental! As a stepmum I'd be so horrified by my DP's behaviour if he dropped his CM to £7 a week depsite earning 40k that I'd leave him.

Is there anything you can do to cut expenses? Could the DC get a summer/weekend job to contribute some money to the household if it's a choice between that and having to sell the house?!

Babyroobs · 27/06/2021 20:41

@SpideyMom

The more I read the more unfair and vast these systems sound. CMS is terribly unfair, always has been, and now I am shocked to hear how a household earning 40k can Still qualify for UC of around 500, when me, earning 14k with a child gets around half of that. I have friends who earn 30k, 2 kids, one can't work due to health and their claim was denied. So I don't know who makes these decisions.

Seems extremely unfair and vast in who and how you qualify which of course makes it feel unfair to alot of people.

I really hope your children's dad continues to support his children. I imagine most would but I know if my son's dad was told he had to pay flat rate maintenance he would be punching the air in delight (like he did when he found out the mother of his daughters had stopped claiming maintenance)

I based my calculation on them getting child elements for all 3 kids, Limited capability for work and work related activity element for the partner and carers element for the husband which is she is disabled and gets PIP, he would be able to claim even if earning 40k. I didn't factor in any rent element which could make it higher.
PumpkinKlNG · 28/06/2021 00:59

The thing is everyone says they would be horrified if it was their partner but loads of women are seemingly ok with it and even encourage their partners to pay less

Rapunzel91 · 30/06/2021 20:40

@3peassuit

If I understand this correctly, the paying parent could be on £100,000 pa and still not have to pay a penny if their partner was on certain benefits. Unbelievably ridiculous.
Absolutely not. If you lived with someone who earned 100k you would not be entitled to any benefits, even if you were on low or no income and despite how many children live in your house.
sonypony · 01/07/2021 16:01

If I understand this correctly, the paying parent could be on £100,000 pa and still not have to pay a penny if their partner was on certain benefits. Unbelievably ridiculous.

Yes it seems carers allowance is on the list. You can claim that if your personal income is low enough regardless of household income or savings. I'm very surprised that it would enable the partner to move to flat rate maintenance even with a 100k income.

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