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Family offering to buy us a house

15 replies

Totalmadness30 · 16/06/2021 14:36

Hi, not sure if I'm posting in the right place...anyway to cut it short, my auntie has recently passed away. Iv always known they have got quite a bit of money, expensive house,etc and they told me over the years that if anything happened to them there was something left to me but I never wanted anything from them and never knew what exactly they wanted to leave. Since my aunties passing, my uncle visited and said their intention had been to sort me out helping me with a mortgage by the time I'm 25. Then the plan was to leave me £50,000 which was amazing of them. Then he said that basically they have decided to scrap that idea and he was then going to just buy us a house outright cash, which as you can imagine this was unbelievable to have this gesture, meaning we would be home owners and mortgage free in our 30's which for most people is crazy but for us especially we would never have a chance of getting a mortgage anytime soon. We rent our current house, have 5 children, work all the hours we can but saving is quite hard to do with 5 children and our credit rating is less than perfect and saving is quite hard so a mortgage is something we knew was not on the cards any time soon so this was literally turning things completely around for us.His budget was about £150000 but he raised it to £215000, he put an offer in on a 4 bed house, that was perfect and felt like a dream to be honest. The offer was accepted straight away and basically we were just waiting to sign the deeds and finish everything. Then my uncle tells us that some problem has come about regarding having to pay a lot of tax on this purchase and the house has fell through. I did not mind at all that things haven't worked out but the conversation was literally, and he is quite a blunt person, that the house hasn't gone through so that's that and that was a message passed on through my parents to tell me, he didn't come to break the news himself and I have not heard from him since. It has left me feeling quite confused and obviously the hope of bettering ourselves and kids and then to have it just ended quite suddenly with no real explanation or anything has been quite tough because we know it was literally like winning the lottery. I also struggle with the news more because he told our children we we moving to a bigger better house, with a massive garden and they were so excited and now their dreams have just been crushed. It was also made public to family and friends so I feel quite silly now facing people. Like I say I didn't expect anything from them but it's quite a big thing to happen only to be crushed so suddenly, it was easier to carry on as we were before the gesture was made and feel somewhat angry for him getting ours but most importantly our kids hopes up. Am I right to feel like that?

OP posts:
popcorndiva · 16/06/2021 14:43

Was there a will? Or was it your uncle using the money given to him to buy the house? Did he realise he had inheritance tax to pay and that took the money?

Seems very bizarre it got so far without anyone realising it. You are not wrong to feel disappointed and it maybe best to understand the full picture from your uncle yourself.

Singlenotsingle · 16/06/2021 14:44

Yes of course you are right to feel like this. It must be very disappointing. That was a mean trick. Presumably your aunt was the blood relation, not the uncle? Have you had a chance to see her Will? Maybe see whether your parents have got any information? What a shame. Don't feel embarrassed though. It's not your fault.

Tangled22 · 16/06/2021 14:48

That is very disappointing. Has he said about looking for another house to buy you? Or is the whole idea just cancelled now?

MadMadMadamMim · 16/06/2021 14:50

Your uncle sounds utterly bizarre.

Did it not occur to him that you can't just buy a house for someone else without there being capital gains tax due?

HollowTalk · 16/06/2021 14:51

That was an incredibly mean trick for him to play on you. Were you close to him beforehand? Is this the man who was married to your aunt, who died, or is he your aunt's brother?

NakedNugget · 16/06/2021 14:54

Oh wow I can't imagine how you must be feeling and your poor kids. I would call him actually and ask what's going on.

NewYearNewTwatName · 16/06/2021 15:01

I don't think it was a mean trick, probably just incredibly naive, and he probably just really couldn't face telling you in person.

But for you, yes it's an awful situation, you are very justified in how you are feeling Flowers

DeRigueurMortis · 16/06/2021 15:06

Sorry to hear this.

It sounds to me that when he made his offer he failed to understand the tax implications of giving such a large sum of money.

Then at the last minute he's finally done his homework and realised that unless he dies 7 years after giving the gift it would be liable for inheritance tax from his estate (up to 40% if below 3 years of the gift).

So in essence he's not giving you £215k he's potentially spending £301k.

I understand it must be gutting for you and frankly he should have understood the full implications (both financial and emotional) of making such an offer.

I think all you can do is call and ask him to tell you honestly what the position is now so at least you have some certainty.

Thanks
HollowTalk · 16/06/2021 15:12

But if that was the case, he could spend eg £200,000 (which he was prepared to do) so that she could buy a house for £150,000.

DeRigueurMortis · 16/06/2021 15:31

@HollowTalk

But if that was the case, he could spend eg £200,000 (which he was prepared to do) so that she could buy a house for £150,000.

Yes that's true, but he's still liable for a lot of tax and presumably has decided he does not want to pay any money to HMRC which is something he will have do do if gifting above his allowance of £3k per year.

I'm really sympathetic to the OP.

It's awful to raise someone's hopes like this over something so life changing and then take it away. Very cruel.

fabulousathome · 16/06/2021 15:38

Are you going to gently speak to him about it? Perhaps ask him to clarify the tax position and see how a compromise could be reached?

Ask him round to tea?

Totalmadness30 · 16/06/2021 18:38

Thanks so much for the lovely comments and understanding from everyone, it's make me feel slightly better knowing I'm right for feeling the way I do, I thought maybe I sound like I'm being greedy but as people have pointed out, it's something so unbelievable for us that is very hard to come back down to earth, and it isn't so much the house falling through but the lack of contact as if it's something that's not a big deal. And like someone pointed out, I would have thought that if that wasn't doable then surely lower his budget to account for taxes on top, but he hasn't said anything and as far as I'm aware is just making plans to go away on a holiday. I just personally couldn't be that cut and dry about something so grand and would feel obliged to talk face to face. Iv sent a message to say he's still welcome so he doesn't think Im only after money which I'm genuinely not but know how it could look iykwim and had no reply. My dad rang him as my dad speaks to him more than me and he hasn't said anything at all only thats it ,it's almost like it's been a dream and he's oblivious to what's been offered and how we must be feeling, I feel the lack of contact is dismissive of our feelings and that's is bothering me more than the house not going through, and yes he is my aunties husband, she was my actual blood relative.

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 16/06/2021 19:12

What does your Father think of all this?

Was your Aunt his sister?

SpeakingFranglais · 16/06/2021 20:12

This isn’t bonkers, ask to see the will and take it from there.

SpeakingFranglais · 16/06/2021 20:12

Is bonkers

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