High debts | Mumsnet

Rv821 · 2021-06-13T07:17:19+00:00

Good morning, Is anyone else dealing with high debts, or have you paid off high debts in the past. By high I mean 50k+. We are currently in the middle of a big project to pay off 60k of debt but it can feel quite lonely. Lot's of people talk about owing 10, 20 grand etc, but I don't think I actually know anyone with debts like ours.

MoneyWhatMoney · 13/06/2021 08:24

I don't think people with your level of debt generally talk about it so you may know people in the same position, but you'll never realise it IYSWIM?

Our debts weren't as high but SIL is out of the other end of £50k debt.
I know she struggled because a lot of their debt came from maintaining a great lifestyle (that they were used to as both she and her DH used to work in IT), after they had both burnt out a bit and moved (with retraining) into lower paid but more vocational jobs.

When crunch time came she said she found the hardest thing to be learning to stop and think before saying yes to things (weekends away / expensive spa days etc) and as you said, it was lonely because she didn't tell any of her friends.

What is your plan to pay the debt off OP?

grafittiartist · 13/06/2021 08:28

Money saving expert forums always used to be good- plenty of company there.
Good luck with it.

MilduraS · 13/06/2021 09:21

Agree that the MSE forum is the best place for support. There are some incredible posters on there. I haven't been on there in a couple of years but I still remember the poster who was celebrating his final payment of a 120k debt (combination of loans and credit cards).

NoSquirrels · 13/06/2021 11:39

Is it all unsecured debts - credit cards and loans - between two of you? I bet you don’t BOTH owe £50K? Remember that some people will be single and paying off £20-30K...

Do you know how it built up? That’s obviously the first step to sorting it. Paying off debt is a long slog and yes, the MSE forums have tons of people in that situation who will celebrate your small wins (and large wins, I hope!)

Don’t give up. You need to find a way to game it so that you trick your brain into not focusing on the huge number, but the small chunks and milestones you can celebrate... How do you eat an elephant?

Positivelypatient · 13/06/2021 11:42

Would echo monseysavingexpert forum especially the debtfree wannabe thread. It provides lots of good advice and tools such as snowballing calculator from people with all levels of debt.

Original poster

Rv821 · 13/06/2021 13:41

@NoSquirrels

Is it all unsecured debts - credit cards and loans - between two of you? I bet you don’t BOTH owe £50K? Remember that some people will be single and paying off £20-30K...

Do you know how it built up? That’s obviously the first step to sorting it. Paying off debt is a long slog and yes, the MSE forums have tons of people in that situation who will celebrate your small wins (and large wins, I hope!)

Don’t give up. You need to find a way to game it so that you trick your brain into not focusing on the huge number, but the small chunks and milestones you can celebrate... How do you eat an elephant?

Hi, Yes you're right. It is a joint debt which I suppose is a little better! It was built up due to wedding costs, home improvements, holidays. general overspending and just not taking care of our finances at all. We are in a totally different mindset now and the debt is reducing each onth.

OP posts:

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 13/06/2021 13:48

I paid off £32k of debt over 5 years and now I invest those payments so have savings. The thing I really came to realise is that you have no idea the true financial position of people. Are they frugal and solvent, in debt, well off and can afford the lifestyle etc. It all seems fake. I now have no interest in spending day to day and really save and think before buying anything.

HarrietHairbrush · 13/06/2021 13:53

Yes everything seems fake
I can remember when I lived in London and would see young girls same age as me (26) with mulberry handbags £1k or £800 when that was basically more than I had left after bills (if I was lucky) living in a shared house

HarrietHairbrush · 13/06/2021 13:54

What is it they say? Stop spending money you don’t have to buy stuff to impress people you don’t like

Howshouldibehave · 13/06/2021 14:05

I just read another thread about someone with high debts but then realised it was you. I really wouldn’t be taking out a £6k car loan in your circumstances. We don’t have any debt except the mortgage-have a credit card which I pay off monthly (use it for the club card points! but have never had a car loan-we buy older cars outright. Can you save up over the next year and buy something cheaper rather than take out more debt?

Original poster

Rv821 · 13/06/2021 14:12

@Howshouldibehave

I just read another thread about someone with high debts but then realised it was you. I really wouldn’t be taking out a £6k car loan in your circumstances. We don’t have any debt except the mortgage-have a credit card which I pay off monthly (use it for the club card points! but have never had a car loan-we buy older cars outright. Can you save up over the next year and buy something cheaper rather than take out more debt?

I totally understand your point but the reality is that my car isn't going to last a year. At it's MOT in December the garage told me that it was unlikely to last much longer and it's starting to cost money. Over the last 12 months I have probably spent around 1k on repairs which is ridiculous for a car worth £500!!

If I worked locally or even fairly near to the town I live then I would risk another banger. Whilst our debts are high we are in a good place in temrs of our repayment plan and we can comfortably afford the payments which I estimate to be no more than £150 per month. If I am honest ,the whole thing it a massive stress to me. Every day I have sick feeling in my stomach - is the car going to start, am I going to break down on the motorway etc etc. I just feel that I need to sort it before It packs up completely and leaves me in a mess.

OP posts:

Howshouldibehave · 13/06/2021 14:24

Fair enough-obviously it’s your debt. I would say there’s a big difference between a £500 banger and a £6k car though and lots of shades of grey in between. I’d go for something costing half that, I think.

notapizzaeater · 13/06/2021 19:48

There's quite a few on money saving expert with more than 60k debts in the debt free diaries section. It's really good at making you think about things

DarlingWithoutYou · 16/06/2021 16:57

Hi RV, I am here to reassure you that you're not alone! 2 years ago we had just over 50k in unsecured debt. We had a lightbulb moment and have paid it off gradually and are now at 33k. It's still a whopping amount but it's been great seeing the numbers come down.