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Original poster

Ridiculous FIL help crypto

52 replies

brokengate · 11/05/2021 12:13

Please can someone advise.

My elderly father in law, without my knowledge, has invested in this. I'm seeing him tomorrow but will copy his message below. I have zero idea what he's talking about, or how it works. Is there anyone who can advise what to do.

He knows nothing about this, can barely turn on the computer. I actually had to double check the message was even from him. Blushthey were scammed last year, hmrc phone call, that's the level of understanding. From what I can see with a brief Google binance looks ok the other does not. What information should I get from him? Thank you so much if you can help. Need this like a hole in the head.

Message
Confidential , can you help me? I think the crypto currency team I invested in is a scam. Can you have a look. Binance and flexam are the platforms I've Been working on. They won't give me the money back unless I pay commissions and tax upfront.

OP posts:
Original poster
brokengate · 11/05/2021 16:12

Yes I'm concerned about them both. Lockdown and hmrc scam has aged them both dramatically. Strange family set up. Rural farm, all live in same place albeit spread out. They have become very odd, more so than usual. Insisting on watching the news twice a day, never had a TV before. Installing CCTV which is fine but strange, out of character. Quite ranty, complaining about everything. Fixating on things.
I just thought boredom but maybe there is more to it.

OP posts:
Souther · 11/05/2021 16:14

Ok binance isnt a scam.
But are you sure he actually has an account with them.
They let you withdraw without any fees.
You need to make sure he wasnt scammed when he opened the account and that no one else has his log in details.

I've not heard about the other one you mentioned before, so avoid. Hope he hadn't got much money in. But dpnt put any more money into it.

If you are going to help him let us know what you find and will see if can help or not.
But any money lost isnt recoverable even if on binance as its not covered by the FCA, unless it was a fault on their part.

amylou8 · 11/05/2021 16:37

Binance is legitimate platform, but the registration isn't for the faint hearted. You have to upload photo ID, location check, verify your bank. Then they want phone and email verification codes when you log in. My dad can find his way round a computer, order from eBay, but would never manage crypto. Potentially you can make some big gains, but essentially it's gambling. My wallet goes up and down faster than a rocket some days, especially when Elon Musk opens his mouth. There's also another part to binance called futures trading. It applies something called leverage to your trade, which means you stand to gain much more, or (more commonly) lose much more. It's a totally different ballgame to just buying and holding crypto, you can lose a lot of money very quickly.

AnnaMagnani · 11/05/2021 17:01

One older person who is starting to lose touch with reality, isolated on a farm, locked down with Covid, in a relationship where he has always been the boss can cause a lot of mess before anyone else challenges him and says 'I think something is wrong here with your mental health'.

My FIL had always been the boss, always been the tech person, so MIL just thought he was 'doing stuff in his office'.

When I finally got in and was allowed to tidy it, it was clear that he had just been sat writing himself reminders and answering conspiracy theory emails for at least 4 years before MIL could be persuaded that he wasn't 'just a bit odd'.

1980tastic · 12/05/2021 22:39

Op. I'm saying this nicely but you're entrenched to the point that it's affecting you badly. Too much.

You aren't a technology expert. You aren't a financial advisor. You're not a fraud expert.

You have 2 under 2 and an awol husband.. beyond a basic sense check that it's not something you can easily support with (such as resetting his password or something) it is BEYOND ridiculous to get involved further, let alone get so emotionally invested that you're taking on the problem.

You need to put your oxygen mask first. Your FIL needs to contact sources of help - give him citizen advice or the giv fraud action telephone numbers, but step back. You cannot fix this. It's beyond your expertise and beyond your capacity.

It really is not on to put the fallout of his actions on you.

Docsmix · 12/05/2021 23:41

How stressful.

How did it go today?

Original poster
brokengate · 13/05/2021 14:27

Sorry for delay, I haven't managed to find time to sit down with him. DH is calving and I am on own with two little ones. He tried to come at bath time last night so was given zero time.

Will try and see him next day or so. Have messaged suggesting citizens advice meantime. Thank you

OP posts:
Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 16:26

don't worry about delays! Just checking you're okay really. Keep saying "no - go to CAB". hope you get some rest!

Wr1ggleWren · 14/05/2021 16:59

One suggestion from a bank

Keep small amount in current account
Keep any savings in a different account (can be with the same bank)
If scammers get the current account details, they will only be able to access a small amount, in theory

FIL will probably be on a scammers list

AllTeaAllShade · 14/05/2021 17:04

He could try to transfer all his other cryptocurrency over to binance, then wait it out or withdraw from there. Doubt he will get back exactly what he put in though

Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 18:12

@Wr1ggleWren

One suggestion from a bank

Keep small amount in current account
Keep any savings in a different account (can be with the same bank)
If scammers get the current account details, they will only be able to access a small amount, in theory

FIL will probably be on a scammers list

If he handed it over willingly, which it sounds like he did, then not much good. I suppose in means you have to pause for thought while you transfer into a current account though.
Original poster
brokengate · 14/05/2021 20:11

I still haven't seen him. To be honest I'm really annoyed at him dumping this on me. Family politics are such that whatever way this goes, I will be in the firing line from MIL. Regardless. For telling, for not telling, for knowing, for not stopping, just for breathing really.

I've been busy witH the girls and did send him a message saying he had put me in an impossible position, that it was not something I know about and that I was again suggesting cab. He replied saying sorry I am so stupid in your eyes.

He was in yard earlier but didn't mention it so not sure what he is up to now.

OP posts:
whatisheupto · 14/05/2021 20:15

I haven't RTFT but it feels like the message itself could be a scam? Ie. His investment activity is all ok but a scammer has got hold of his details??

Original poster
brokengate · 14/05/2021 20:26

@whatisheupto yeah I thought that initially but something more has gone on. He seems to have managed to set it up, or set a scam up, add money, and now can't get it back. Mi just have not manage to find out exactly what yet as between kids and mil there hasn't been a moment to look.

OP posts:
ConfusedAdultFemale · 14/05/2021 20:31

For binance he would have had to go through identity verification. He’d have needed to take a picture of his driving license or passport, going through the identity verification checks aren’t easy for someone who’s not computer literate… Confused

Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 20:47

@brokengate

I still haven't seen him. To be honest I'm really annoyed at him dumping this on me. Family politics are such that whatever way this goes, I will be in the firing line from MIL. Regardless. For telling, for not telling, for knowing, for not stopping, just for breathing really.

I've been busy witH the girls and did send him a message saying he had put me in an impossible position, that it was not something I know about and that I was again suggesting cab. He replied saying sorry I am so stupid in your eyes.

He was in yard earlier but didn't mention it so not sure what he is up to now.

If you're in the firing line for existing, that's even more reason to leave them to it.
Ingleduh · 14/05/2021 21:05

Op I think his Flexam 'investment' is lost but Binance is pretty straight forward if he's genuinely used that.
If you google something along the lines of 'how to cash out of binance' you should find lots of instructional videos to help.

Original poster
brokengate · 14/05/2021 21:23

Thank you. I will try and speak to him tomorrow and see what he's done. At least if I can establish whether it's even binance or something else.

OP posts:
MoveOnTheCards · 14/05/2021 21:31

Hi brokengate. No real advice on the matter in hand but as I understand you’re in agriculture so can I suggest you also speak to the Farming Community Network? They offer support to families and individuals like your FIL about all sorts of matters, financial, social and emotional. They might be able to help in some way beyond this crypto situation.

ConfusedAdultFemale · 15/05/2021 08:29

Hmm

WildfirePonie · 15/05/2021 08:42

Why are you letting DH dump this on you?! Why would you be in MIL firing line?! This is ridiculous.

Drop the rope. They are his parents! Not yours! You are busy with children and don't have time for this nonsense. Get angry OP. Do you want FIL shit dumped on you? Where is MIL while he's setting all this up? Why isn't this her problem?

Why is this your problem?! It's not! So leave them to it!

PandaLady · 15/05/2021 09:01

OP you cannot sort this. Your FIL has to do this:

  1. Call his bank and tell them he has been scammed. There is little point in wondering if he has/hasn't - he handed over cash to a 'nice lady' and now he can't get it back and doesn't understand what's happened. He's been scammed.
  1. Call the Police (non-urgent number) and tell them he has been scammed.

Then you need to tell DH that they are his parents, whether he helps them or not is up to him, but you can't. After two scams they should be thinking about giving their next of kin Power of Attorney.

Don't let FIL make you responsible for carrying his secret. When he texts stuff like 'I look stupid in your eyes' tell him that you think he should talk to his son about getting some help managing his money.

Don't get drawn in op.

Awrite · 15/05/2021 09:29

Dh invests in crypto currency.

Flexam probably a scam.

Binance OK.

The tax is capital gains tax which is payable on gains of £10k + per year.

It's feasible he's made £10k.

The tax is paid by investor though.

Yes to fees.

Wr1ggleWren · 15/05/2021 09:36

The best solution would be for FIL to switch to a new bank account & all his direct debits should automatically get moved across
Although if he receives any sort of pension, he would need to contact the pension provider with the new account to have it paid in

Original poster
brokengate · 15/05/2021 12:05

@ConfusedAdultFemale ? I don't know either. All I know I have put here. He said it was difficult to set up. So he called the number on the binance website and a lady helped him. That's the extent of what I know so far.

Yes I am angry. I'm actually just avoiding him and them all at moment. The more he tells me the more he draws me into it so I'm tempted to not bother. But I do appreciate that you have all tried to help and I will update if I do get anymore information. Thank you

OP posts:
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