Daughters stepchild and her mother - finances and housing

[Unicorn34]

I have no idea where to begin giving some advice with this so will try to be brief and direct with info.

1. My daughter has been married for 5 years and they have their own nearly 4 yr old son who has to attend nursery where my daughter works so she can work full time (with health issues I may add).

1. Son-in-Law has a good job as a prison officer and has been in this role for 4 years. There is no keyworker housing available in the area or within daily commutable distance.

1. Son-in-Law has a 15 yr old daughter who has now come to live with my daughters family due to relationship breakdown with step father - lots of rows etc. This happened about 5 months ago.

Here's where I need to get some clarity....

1. Mother of SD has not signed the relevant forms for child allowance to be paid to her father/my daughter so has been claiming for at least 5 months unlawfully. No money is coming their way via maintenance from mother as she is now pregnant and has given up work.

1. Mother of SD has just moved into a large 3-bed housing authority property which was meant to be for/was applied for, when SD still lived there - Mother is pregnant and has a younger 6 yr old daughter. They used to live in a 2 bed flat but did not tell the HA about the changes.

1. DD is living in a privately rented two-bedroom maisonette. It has issues with mould and their tenancy is coming to a close at the end of October as the landlord does not want to renew the lease (they have been there 3 years).

1. Grandson has a little box room, DD and SIL has double room, SD is sleeping on a fold away bed behind the sofa. There is nowhere else for her to sleep as they have no room.

I suppose I am just trying to work out what they do next. Who do they report the lack of child allowance money to? Do they get it backdated? They registered with the council years ago for housing but are very low in priority. Will the case of the SD now living there and her age assist with this? They will potentially be homeless at the end of October and we can't seem to find anything they can afford with their budget to now support the 2nd dependent. I know that SIL is not paying maintenance now and that they can use that towards their bills, but my daughter has to leave work at the end of August due to her DS starting school and her job not being flexible enough for her to take him/pick him up. She is trying to find other work but nothing has happened yet.

Thanks for any advice that I can pass on..... I don't know what to tell her!

What a difficult situation.
I think your daughter or son in law should claim the child benefit . There is a standard delay with new claims I can't remember if it is 4 weeks or 6 weeks before the new claim begins but I suggest one of them claims immediately.
Maintenance is linked to child benefit, it is important your son in law claims to avoid a possible claim for back dated maintenance.

Hopefully someone with a similar experience will be along to give more comprehensive advice.

Sorry I forgot to say The forms yohh in mention are not necessary your son in law can claim the child benefit he just has to state the date his daughter moved in. There will be a standard waiting time before the claim begins.

What do you mean, you don't know what to tell her? Surely she can find it out for herself?

@Cloverforever

What do you mean, you don't know what to tell her? Surely she can find it out for herself?

How helpful.

We had this with child benefit and it's not as easy as just ringing them and giving the date if the other parent disputes it (I know because it happened to us) they will want "evidence" ie you being the primary contact for school, gp being near you and stuff like that. It's ridiculous and it can drag out.
With regards to housing the only option is to private rent a bigger house or try to get on the council list. Where we live it's not too bad and in that situation wouldn't be waiting too long but obviously in London etc you might have no chance.

And pp is right about maintenance - you'll not get it if you're not in receipt of cb, however if mum's not working I don't think they'll get anything. Maybe £7 a week if she claims benefits.

@Cloverforever

What do you mean, you don't know what to tell her? Surely she can find it out for herself?

A helpful post, I mean really why bother, have you nothing better to do? Obviously OPs daughter has asked her mum for some advice as she's struggling with what to do. Hopefully your kids will never need your advice as you're obviously a less than helpful person 🤔🤔

Your sil and dd need to make a claim for child benefit who will then look into the situation. make sure that the step daughter is registered at her dad address for school, dentist, drs etc. I imagine if the stepdaughters mum is not working she may be claiming other benefits fraudulently too. Your dd needs to think about renting a bigger place if the arrangement is permanent, with two incomes then it should be doable. If rent is high and they also have chidcare costs then they should look at whether they can claim Universal credit themselves, with 2 children on the claim, childcare costs and rent there could be a small entitlement but will ultimately depend on earnings.

Child benefit has a disputed claims unit. Your DD/her DH has to apply for child benefit (which is what it is called) and then they will investigate and decide where the girl lives.

so she can work full time (with health issues I may add).

I’m falling apart with health issues myself, so I sympathise there, but “may I add” is a phrase that only ever makes you sound gossipy and judgmental.

Your whole post is full of far more information about your SIL’s ex than is probably healthy for you to know. I would probably back away from the situation a bit and let them sort it out themselves. You can’t do anything that will help.

The ex can sort out her own housing arrangements.

Your DD & BIL can apply for whatever they can apply for.

Other than that, best to try to float above things and avoid gossip or stress.

Getting the CB paid to your SIL is essential. Your SIL will need to get a copy of her birth certificate to support the application. If DSD's mother doesn't roll over, it will go to the disputed claims unit. A PP was right, evidence of SIL being the primary contact for school, registered with a local GP with his address and her father named as next of kin are very important.

Once he has CB for her in place, other things become possible.
They might be entitled to UC, as an extra child in the family will increase the maximum allowances, it may be worth going on the housing register as they are now short of a bedroom, if they move somewhere bigger and privately rented they could be entitled to help with the rent from UC as they will now qualify for the 3-bedroomed rate of local housing allowance.

But they won't be able to do any of that until they're getting child benefit for her.

And I'd go for maintenance too. The girl's mother sounds like a proper CF, moving into a 3-bed place when she only has 1 child. She's depriving a bigger family of a decent home. And I'm surprised she got offered a 3-bed place, tbh, as with 2 girls her bedroom entitlement was only 2, until the elder child reaches 16.

Thanks everyone who posted helpful advice. I struggle to stay out of things when asked for help (with family members) as I see my daughter in a turmoil of debt, stress and then her health issues (heart, bloods and tiredness - due to her heart). Her husband isn't very good with fighting the family corner as he works long hours, but I am not giving him an excuse to not do it, just saying why.

I will pass on all the good information about CB and dentist etc. I am sure this will all help. Thanks again

In the short term they need to move the 3yo into their room and give the 15yp the boxroom. She needs some private space.

I'm not sure what key worker housing is (are you uk?), but it's also worth registering for their local social housing. It's not a quick process at all but it's a start.

I would find out how long the wait is for social housing. In my area being only one bedroom short with no other major issues the wait would probably be 3 years +, by which point the step daughter may well have left anyway!

I think the main administrative steps are clear:

• for CB, phone for advice to start the claim
• for Housing, phone for advice to start the process with the correct number of residents

I’m concerned that your daughter is planning to give up her job due to school runs.
Has her husband looked at flexing his hours? Presumably prison service has more shift work possibility / weekends than some other careers? As they’re in debt, I would explore that before giving up a job. Similarly, can the 15yo be part of dropping off at wraparound club or school? Not ideal putting responsibility on her - but when there is debt, needs must.

1. Mother of SD has not signed the relevant forms for child allowance to be paid to her father/my daughter so has been claiming for at least 5 months unlawfully. No money is coming their way via maintenance from mother as she is now pregnant and has given up work.

the other parent doesn't need to sign any forms, the resident parents puts in a claim. This is also very important not just for maintenance but for social housing as it can be used and often is to access how many bedrooms a family needs.

1. Mother of SD has just moved into a large 3-bed housing authority property which was meant to be for/was applied for, when SD still lived there - Mother is pregnant and has a younger 6 yr old daughter. They used to live in a 2 bed flat but did not tell the HA about the changes. Not your concern, you don't know all the inns and outs only hearsay, and you need to be looking out for your daughter not her eps ex

1. DD is living in a privately rented two-bedroom maisonette. It has issues with mould and their tenancy is coming to a close at the end of October as the landlord does not want to renew the lease (they have been there 3 years) Have they been given a section 21? any letters? This is the important bit as laws changed last August 2020 and a landlord now needs to give 6 months notice so if this hasn't happened yet then there is a problem for the landlord.

Is your daughter on the bidding list for council/social housing? When she gets the child benefit sorted she needs to add this and alter her application for the extra child. Has your dd contacted the housing department to alert them of notice given on property she is renting (if notice has been given) BE. very careful not to leave the private rental willingly or without the correct process being followed as this could then be construed as he voluntarily making herself homeless and the council will then refuse to rehouse her....

1. Grandson has a little box room, DD and SIL has double room, SD is sleeping on a fold away bed behind the sofa. There is nowhere else for her to sleep as they have no room. has she got application for social housing and has she notified the council and given proof of child benefit?

Has your daughter partner been in the forces? if so then use those contacts to help and assist, it is a thing

Oh and finally look at making a claim for UC, this can be checked on entitled2