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Original poster

Benefits help

17 replies

Mum2beagain1 · 04/03/2021 09:29

Hi (not sure if this is the right place for this)
I'm considering leaving my cheating partner and I need help to know where I stand with the benefits system.
I'm the main earner in the family and if I chuck him out I will need to reduce my working hours or give up work completely to care for our 2 children.
He has no job so wont be able to help financially.
I'm getting really stressed as I dont want to stay with him because of a financial situation.
I have no savings so I'm stuck.
Also if he left he would have no where to live so it's not like the kids could go to him until hes settled. So giving up or reducing my hours is the only option.
I really dont want my kids to suffer financially because of this.
Any help or advice is much appreciated.

OP posts:

StephenBelafonte · 04/03/2021 09:54

Have you checked on the entitled to website to see how much you. Can get?

Will he leave voluntarily? Who owns the house?

Original poster

Mum2beagain1 · 04/03/2021 10:00

I own the house in my name only.
Voluntary well I dont know about that one. He wants to make it work but I cant get over his cheating.
My concern is that if I have to quit will I have to wait ages for any money.

OP posts:

dontdisturbmenow · 04/03/2021 12:52

How old are your children? If they are primary school age, you'll be expected to look for part time work at least.

idontlikealdi · 04/03/2021 12:54

How old are the children?

Can you use childcare?

NerrSnerr · 04/03/2021 12:55

How old are your children? Have you checked the entitled to website?

isitjustlockdown · 04/03/2021 12:57

I would investigate childcare first, including any government assistance you will get to help alleviate the costs.

With the current climate I would avoid leaving my job or even reducing hours. The job market is rough right now and it might not be easy to pick up more hours and a new job later down the line.

It might be hard short term but long term you will be a lot better off if you keep working, and you and your children will have a better quality of life.

Screwcorona · 04/03/2021 13:00

Is there a mortgage?
In the calculations for how much a family need to get by normally rent is included but mortgage is tricky. Normally you only get allowances for the interest payment as a loan, which is repayable.

Then there will be an allowance for you, and each child.

Your wages earn over a bottom line will reduce the benefit allowance

plumpuddisnice · 04/03/2021 13:01

I echo others. Don't leave your job.

You can apply for UC which will help with day to day living costs and up to 70% of childcare costs.

Child benefit.

You can also apply for 25% single person discount on your council tax.

Oh and when he goes out, pack his bags and get the locks changed.

Dayafterday · 04/03/2021 13:02

Why can’t he look after the children while you work?

Screwcorona · 04/03/2021 13:02

Entitled to.com is a great site as it will give you a rough calculation abd what you can claim and you can edit hours etc to figure out how you will be best off.

How will you plan to split contact? If hes not working at all you could see if he can have the children on weekdays so that can help with childcare.

Justforphoto · 04/03/2021 13:04

Are you married? How old are the children? those factors will change the answers people can give

Original poster

Mum2beagain1 · 04/03/2021 14:50

No not married. Children are 8 and 13
To be honest once hes gone the only contact I will have is via the kids.
maybe being stupid but i just want him out of our lives. Hes a waste of space really.
I work shifts so childcare would be a real problem.
Maybe I could go part time.
I will check the entitled to.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 04/03/2021 16:30

I would really try and find a way to stay working full time and try and find a way to do that first. What kind of industry do you work in? Could you try and get set shifts to make childcare easier, especially as it won't be too long until you won't need childcare anymore.

Babyroobs · 04/03/2021 17:40

If working part time you will get topped up by Universal credit as long as you don't have savings over 16k.

MiddlesexGirl · 04/03/2021 21:31

Unfortunately there isn't even support for mortgage interest if you're earning.
So if you have a mortgage that won't be covered by benefits.
Definitely have a look at the benefits checker. But be prepared if you want to keep your home you may have to find a way of working full time.

Graphista · 04/03/2021 22:31

Sorry but my worry in your position would actually be the possibility of him applying for residency of the dc.

Who is currently the primary caregiver? If he is, then he could have a strong case for this if he wishes to try that

Financially entitled to and turn 2 us both have ESTIMATION calculators but don't take the results as set in stone.

If he's unemployed and remains so he may not even have to pay cm

Is the house in both names or yours? That's another thing to check on

For more accurate advice on finances speak to your local welfare rights advisor in your local council (sometimes they're called something else but I think all Uk councils have people who cover this role) they are more up to date with changes (which are constant at the moment) and they will also know what help might be available locally

Lots for you to consider, sorry you're going through this

DianaT1969 · 04/03/2021 23:32

I wouldn't give up your job or go part time. Your 13 year old is old enough to be left alone for a few hours before or after school. Your 8 year old won't be young forever. You need wraparound school care for him/her. Relying 100% on benefits is awful. It's easier to get a job when you've already got one. Try for dayshifts with a regular pattern.
Otherwise, try to live with him and live separate lives. Like he's a lodger who does free childcare. But as someone else said, you have the resident main carer problem to look at first.

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