Separated and Spousal Maintenance - Please help

Maybe3ornot · 2021-01-28T20:59:57+00:00

So i will try and keep it short. Together 20years Married for 16years Two children He earns £62k a year, 5x what I earn because I supported him I have children and pay all bills, including mortgage and marital credit cards Currently at mediation for divorce settlement Up to this month he was paying me minimum child maintenance, £350 spousal which contributed towards credit card debts and I had use of the family car, he paid the pcp. He has decided to stop paying me spousal and wants to take the car off me so I only receive child maintenance. I can not afford to keep paying everything, never mind buy a car to take our children to school and he knows this. Has anyone any experience of fighting for spousal whilst separated?

Babyroobs · 28/01/2021 21:03

I didn't even realize spousal maintenance was still a thing. Can you claim any benefits to top up your income ? Child maintenance will not count as income for benefit purposes.

Babyroobs · 28/01/2021 21:04

Surely even just child maintenance will be a significant amount on a salary of 62k, as long as he pays the correct amount?

Original poster

Maybe3ornot · 28/01/2021 21:08

I am not entitled to any benefits as my new partner has moved in. I lost all benefits when he moved in so no better financially off. I am only requesting support until the divorce can be agreed and finalised it’s not a long term thing.

OP posts:

StephenBelafonte · 28/01/2021 21:08

You need to apply through the courts for what's known as "maintenance pending suit" take a look at the wikidivorce websites for lots of information.

He won't have to pay spousal support though as it's only for high earners.

SendMeHome · 28/01/2021 21:09

There’s a big thread on here about spousal maintenance from last week, you’ll find it if you search, but the long and short of it is that it’s getting more and more unusual, and the courts prefer a clean break.

Original poster

Maybe3ornot · 28/01/2021 21:09

With paying the mortgage, all bills and marital credit cards debts I pay out £1600 a month, that does not include food, petrol, clothing etc

OP posts:

SendMeHome · 28/01/2021 21:10

I am not entitled to any benefits as my new partner has moved in.

Is he contributing? A partner moving in often triggers the end of spousal support when it is ordered... it’s unlikely he’d be ordered to support you and a new partner.

Babyroobs · 28/01/2021 21:11

@Maybe3ornot

With paying the mortgage, all bills and marital credit cards debts I pay out £1600 a month, that does not include food, petrol, clothing etc

Is your partner not contribution to the mortgage and household bills?

Original poster

Maybe3ornot · 28/01/2021 21:14

Thank you all and especially @StephenBelafonte. Just looked that up and that’s exactly what I need.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maybe3ornot · 28/01/2021 21:15

@Babyroobs no he’s not and hasn’t since April last year.

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FrippEnos · 28/01/2021 21:28

The problem is your partner, not your ex.

Original poster

Maybe3ornot · 28/01/2021 21:32

My partner contributes to half the household bills plus pays for his own food etc. Which i think is more than fair. I couldn’t expect to pay for my children when he also pays for his own child separately

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Babyroobs · 28/01/2021 21:41

@Maybe3ornot

My partner contributes to half the household bills plus pays for his own food etc. Which i think is more than fair. I couldn’t expect to pay for my children when he also pays for his own child separately

I don't understand how you are struggling if you have wages coming in, child benefit, child maintenance and your new partner is going halves on bills ? Could you ask for a mortgage holiday for a few months or to go interest only until things are sorted?

FrippEnos · 28/01/2021 22:34

Maybe3ornot

Your ex should be paying for his children, your partner should be paying rent or some such for living with you.

Heidi1976 · 02/02/2021 09:57

The only issue here is that your ex needs to contribute to the mortgage payments (or buy you out as part of the financial settlement) and a fair split based on earnings on the credit cards. You shouldn't be paying for them all yourself, but this isn't spousal maintenance, this is an agreement that needs to be made as part of your financial settlement. You wouldn't get spousal maintenance if your partner lives with you, and unlikely in these days even if he didn't.

dontdisturbmenow · 04/02/2021 08:17

Not one bit of chance of spousal maintenance with a new partner moving in. Why do you think there should be when you have a new partner to support you?

Your financial issues are no longer your ex's problem.

nimbuscloud · 04/02/2021 09:44

Has your new partner just moved in or has your ex just heard about him recently?

Bibidy · 04/02/2021 10:04

@Maybe3ornot

With paying the mortgage, all bills and marital credit cards debts I pay out £1600 a month, that does not include food, petrol, clothing etc

How come you are paying the whole mortgage? Are you planning on selling the house and taking half each? Otherwise presumably you won't be able to afford the payments after the divorce either.

Also, why are you paying the marital credit card debt on your own as well?

DicklessWonder · 04/02/2021 10:08

@Maybe3ornot

My partner contributes to half the household bills plus pays for his own food etc. Which i think is more than fair. I couldn’t expect to pay for my children when he also pays for his own child separately

Your ex-husband is only required to pay child maintenance.

Bibidy · 04/02/2021 10:09

Also I don't think you'll get anything more than child support if he's earning 65k. It's a good wage but not enough to warrant spousal support.

Think you need to explore other options for income or lowering your outgoings.

Cocomarine · 04/02/2021 22:19

You’ve decided to move your new boyfriend in and have a baby with him, when you’re reliant on your husband to pay for the car you take your existing kids to school in? Too late to tell you to slow down.

You’d have a hard time claiming spousal with the age of the children from your marriage, who do not need you to only work part time. No judge us going to award you spousal because you don’t want to work full time because you now have a baby with another man. The time to finalise your divorce was before you moved on quite so dramatically.

Make sure you’re getting the correct CMS payment from him, pay the minimum on the credit repayments so that you personally are not reducing the debt which although yours, will be seen in the wider picture of all your assets. Then, get this divorce progressed ASAP.

Thatwentbadly · 04/02/2021 22:24

You mention credit card debts - are these joint debts? How much do you owe? It maybe worth speaking to step change about a payment plan.

Can you down size or move closer to school? How old are the teenager? Can they get a bus?

DicklessWonder · 04/02/2021 22:45

@Cocomarine

You’ve decided to move your new boyfriend in and have a baby with him, when you’re reliant on your husband to pay for the car you take your existing kids to school in? Too late to tell you to slow down.

You’d have a hard time claiming spousal with the age of the children from your marriage, who do not need you to only work part time. No judge us going to award you spousal because you don’t want to work full time because you now have a baby with another man. The time to finalise your divorce was before you moved on quite so dramatically.

Make sure you’re getting the correct CMS payment from him, pay the minimum on the credit repayments so that you personally are not reducing the debt which although yours, will be seen in the wider picture of all your assets. Then, get this divorce progressed ASAP.

Spectacular entitlement. 😲