Is this austerity?!

[Daineseturbo]

Hiya

Advice and opinion:-

Options:
A) stop being a cheapskate - YABU
B) YANBU

Context:

Family of 4, 2 kids, wife and I are both 40, mortgaged with about 10 years left. After ALL bills and savings provision each month my wife and I have £400 EACH apportioned into our own accounts to spend however we see fit.

Position:
Given the uncertainty of Covid, I’ve suggested that for a period we reduce our individual disposable spending by about £100 each per month (thereby, save an extra £200 per month into our savings, which usually tracks at £500 / month).

Wife not keen, thinks that any less that £400 disposable per month isnt enough.

A or B??

I think it depends on your relationship and how your money is worked out- does she have full access to the joint finances?

I deal with our finances and for tax reasons most of our savings are in my sole name. We have a joint account through which all money goes in and out and we have a spreadsheet showing where everything is held. He could also locate my passwords if needed. I try to be as open as possible.

He just doesn't care about the details but he likes to know the big picture.

We haven't been spending anywhere near what we usually spend - the lockdown has meant our personal spends are next to nothing.

We are also in the process of buying a house and so some big expense coming up.

I suggested to DH that we reduced what we had going into our personal spending account and increased our savings but he didn't want to - and you know what? That's ok. It is his money too and I trust him. I kept my personal money the same too and I save some of mine in my own account - after all this personal money is for us to do with what we like.

Well neither of you is being unreasonable.

Your POV is sensible, but if there is no immediate need to change your savings pattern then so is her’s.

If you are concerned, why don’t you sit down an talk to her. Why do you think Covid will impact on your income? If it did what would your options be? What is it she doesn’t want to miss having? How is having this spending money improving her life?

Hopefully a solution will come from that. And you might be able to compromise on an extra 100 per month for now

If your wife has told you that she’s happy with the current monthly savings, and that less than £400 isn’t enough for her, then it isn’t enough for her.

Nothing stopping you cutting your own personal spending back if you want to, and see how much you save - it’s not like the £400 is “use it or lose it”.

I’m spending money on stuff during this lockdown that is keeping me sane, including a monthly subscription to a beauty box, 2 or 3 books a week, a subscription to a podcast site, and an expensive takeaway coffee on my daily walk despite having a perfectly good coffee machine at home.

I would give up these things in a heartbeat if I had to - but to put an extra £100 into savings when we already save £500 a month. Nope, not a chance. I’m with your wife.

Does your wife have any household expenses etc to pay out of her £400, or is it just for frivolities? If it's the latter then yes saving an extra £100 each is prudent in the current climate.

@Kndg I was going to ask the same.

Is the £500 you save actual savings or would it be needed for annual and irregular expenses like insurance, holidays, Christmas and birthdays, car repair and replacement, new washing machines, dental costs etc, ie essentials that will come up regularly, meaning the savings are unlikely to build up to much?

Even £400 each for non essentials is quite a lot unless you already have lots of savings. What's your mortgage and pension situation? Do you foresee any big expenses like home improvement or car repairs and how would you pay for those?

I don’t really understand, why can’t you just save a hundred a month ? Why does she need to do it too if she doesn’t wish to?

Well surely the response is you save whatever you like and she saves wha ever she likes?

What's the thinking behind saving the extra money?

If your jobs are secure then I wouldn't think it was absolutely necessary.

How do you spend £400 per month each at the moment?

How secure are your jobs and how many months bills do you have in savings?

Could you compromise and save an extra £100 so have £350 each per month? £300 sounds a big drop so maybe £350 eont sound so bad.

A.
Save as much of yours if you wish.

Another one asking what you each spend “your” money on? Do all the expenses for the kids come out of a joint account or does your wife tend to buy their clothes, books, toys etc out of her money? What about the top up type bread milk pop to a shop?

If it truly is just money to spend on yourself then £400 does seem like a lot but bear in mind she may have expenses that you do not such as haircuts, sanitary products etc

If she’s not happy to save more then fair enough but I’m finding that at the minute with nowhere to go and less to do we are not spending as much as we would in normal circumstances. For me putting a bit extra away so when this is over and we can go out and enjoy ourselves makes sense. Each to their own though.

Depends what you count as bills.

Depends what the uncertainties are for you. Dp and I are in fairly safe jobs so I wouldn’t see a point in putting more away. However, as we are spending less generally, I for one aren’t spending my £400 pocket money...we are putting some of the excess into bits for the house.

I personally would look to shave money off the spend but then I am driven by saving as much as we can towards pension and investment pots, as well as towards irregular and bigger one off spends. I understand most people aren’t like that tho. With that in mind, I would look to see if you are on track with what you want to save as the basis of your decision. Take emotion out of it.

B. I am with you on this, with covid it's better to be in a good financial position, make sure you have 3-6 months of expenses in an emergency fund, overpay on your mortgage.