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Original poster

Paying keep

23 replies

Chickenlicken15 · 15/01/2021 13:32

Hi I’m after some advice please. Our son is now 20 and has just completed his apprenticeship and is earning properly now. We are going to ask for keep as he only paid a minimal amount of keep during his apprenticeship as he needs to appreciate his earnings and budget . My question is this I’m not sure how much is fair to ask? We are fortunate that we don’t need his contribution. How has anyone worked how much to ask? Many thanks

OP posts:
IndieRo · 15/01/2021 13:41

It really depends on how much you do for him, washing, cooking buying food and how much he earns. I definately think children should contribute towards the household when they start earning. Even if you don't need it for yourself put it into an account for him for when he wants to buy his own home.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/01/2021 13:43

I find MN really divides on this point. Personally? My rule is once out of education, 20% of wages for keep. Even if not needed, it's healthy to get into the habit of paying your way before enjoying the rest of your wages.

By all means save it for him (or yourselves), but my thought is that it's worth having an arrangement in place.

movingonup20 · 15/01/2021 13:45

It should at a minimum cover the marginal cost of him living at home so shared meals, use of food/household basics it makes no sense to duplicate, if you are a lone adult the additional council tax, contribution to utilities. Personally I think £100 a month if they are saving for their own place and being responsible unless you need the money. If they are not being responsible with money I would be tempted to ask for significantly more and save it for them

Bluntness100 · 15/01/2021 13:46

When you say earning properly. How much is he earning? Few twenty year olds just out of an apprenticeship are earning anything decent.

How much he earns, and then what his costs are, Ie travel, lunches etc, will then dictate what’s left, and what is spare.

He’s not living with uou because he wants to, he’s doing it because financially it’s the best idea, so there is no set percentage, it depends on his disposable income.

Santaiscovidfree · 15/01/2021 13:47

My oldest dc agreed 20% of wages years ago. When the latest dc left at 24 a few years ago he had paid me 10% and saved 10%in a help to buy account... He got a mortgage with a decent deposit...
Felt fair to me!!

Bluntness100 · 15/01/2021 13:48

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I find MN really divides on this point. Personally? My rule is once out of education, 20% of wages for keep. Even if not needed, it's healthy to get into the habit of paying your way before enjoying the rest of your wages.

By all means save it for him (or yourselves), but my thought is that it's worth having an arrangement in place.

Seriously?

So say he clears 1k a month.

He then spends another four hundred on commuting. Ie car or train.

He has four hundred left. You’d take 200 of it, leave him with 50 quid a week to buy lunch, clothes, toiletries, and to socialise and save?

When you didn’t need the money?

I’d not do that.

maxelly · 15/01/2021 14:00

Your numbers don't add up Bernadette, in your hypothetical example if the DS earns £1k net a month, he spends £400 on travel (not everyone has to spend that much but OK) and OP takes £200 for keep which covers all bills and food, he still has £400 left over for himself, I would have thought that's OK, many people feed and look after a family on less? Even if he 'has' to buy lunch (and probably OP has in bread and stuff so he could take a sandwich in at least some days if he wants), assuming £5 p/day that's only £100 ish a month, and if he then saves £100, he has £200 'fun money' for clothes, toiletries and going out etc, not a fortune and won't pay for fancy holidays or designer clothes but enough for a young person on a pretty low wage I'd have thought?

Not saying it's 'right', personally I didn't charge my YA kids keep when they were in low paid jobs (and as soon as they were earning reasonable money they were gone, don't know if that says more about them or me Grin ), or if I had I would probably have put it away for them towards a house deposit or car or something later on. But I don't think it's unreasonable as a benchmark, you wouldn't get a room in a shared house for much less unless in a very cheap part of the country, and that might not include bills and certainly not food?

maxelly · 15/01/2021 14:02

Sorry, that was to Bluntness not Bernadette!

Prisonbreak · 15/01/2021 14:06

@Bluntness100 check your math

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/01/2021 14:45

He then spends another four hundred on commuting. Ie car or train

I can't speak for tea in fares?

Original poster
Chickenlicken15 · 15/01/2021 14:51

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply I appreciate it x

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 15/01/2021 15:07

I was having this conversation with my 14yo last night! Not planning on charging him now, but he was talking about the future being scary, what he will do etc and I said well it wasn't like I'd be kicking him out at 18! And it progressed into a cost for board.

I recon I spend about £400pm on groceries, cleaning stuff etc for the 3 of us (2 teens and I) so I said say £100pm for food etc. Plus I'm on single adult council tax reduction, so another adult adds £50pm to that. Plus a share of utilities. So £200pm.

For that he'd have the use of his room, plus communal rooms in a nice house. Food & use of kitchen. Use of washing & drying facilities and powders etc.

I'd anticipate travel costs to whatever would be about £50pw here.

So on approx £1k pm he'd have £600 left to cover clothes, tech, socialising, saving etc. Which seems plenty to me for that age & income level.

However I also said that I'd expect him to be a reasonable member of the household, clearing up after himself and communal chores, cooking for the household sometimes etc.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/01/2021 15:39

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

He then spends another four hundred on commuting. Ie car or train

I can't speak for tea in fares?

Sorry posted too soon. Can't speak for train fares but it doesn't cost 400pcm to run a car.
LizFlowers · 15/01/2021 15:52

Just ask for a proportional contribution to bills. I don't suppose you notice a bit of food. He buys any bits and pieces that he particularly wants.

OnlyTeaForMe · 15/01/2021 15:58

@LizFlowers

Just ask for a proportional contribution to bills. I don't suppose you notice a bit of food. He buys any bits and pieces that he particularly wants.
IMHE 20-year-old boys don't consume just "a bit of food" !

My two in this age range have massive appetites and eat way more than DH and I, and lots of (expensive) meat and protein generally.

Tier10 · 15/01/2021 16:01

My DS is 22, recently completed his masters and is working for about 24 hours a week in a local job. He earns £1000 per month and we charge him £140 per month. We buy all his food and some of his energy drinks and ciders. If he wants more then he buys them. As a family we are all happy with this.

LizFlowers · 15/01/2021 18:23

OnlyTeaForMe Fri 15-Jan-21 15:58:02
LizFlowers

Just ask for a proportional contribution to bills. I don't suppose you notice a bit of food. He buys any bits and pieces that he particularly wants.

IMHE 20-year-old boys don't consume just "a bit of food" !

My two in this age range have massive appetites and eat way more than DH and I, and lots of (expensive) meat and protein generally.
.........
Yes I know they do, I had one and all his friends used to come round regularly, stay and eat meals with us - but do we charge our children for food when we are cooking anyway?

I understand it could be a problem for people on very low incomes or benefits for surely most people with average incomes don't worry about that sort of thing.

LizFlowers · 15/01/2021 18:25

@Tier10

My DS is 22, recently completed his masters and is working for about 24 hours a week in a local job. He earns £1000 per month and we charge him £140 per month. We buy all his food and some of his energy drinks and ciders. If he wants more then he buys them. As a family we are all happy with this.
That sounds like a reasonable contribution for a chap of 22, Tier.
Standrewsschool · 15/01/2021 18:29

My almost nineteen year old has just started earning. We were thinking about asking for £200 per month , ie. £50 per week.

LizFlowers · 15/01/2021 19:23

How much will he be earning, Standrewsschool? If his take home is, say, £1,200 a month, £200 is not bad. If it is less than a thousand, it's a lot.

HidingFromDD · 15/01/2021 20:09

charged both of mine £200 per month when they were on low (c£16k) income. That really only just covered costs (single so council tax reduction lost as well) but they both had enough money to run a car, pay for essentials and also save.

LizFlowers · 15/01/2021 20:56

They earned approximately £1,201 per month net, HidingFromDD so I think £200 was reasonable in your circumstances.

RoseMartha · 15/01/2021 21:06

I would say about £50 a week

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