Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

How to help daughter with a mortgage.

32 replies

Imtoooldforallthis · 09/01/2021 15:49

I'm trying to work out how to help my daughter. She trying to get out of an unhappy relationship. She owns a house with her partner with maybe £20,000 equity. He is being a bit awkward and doesn't want them to split or sell the house. She is only 22 and has two children 2 and 3. She is currently looking for part time work now eldest has some free nursery hours. She needs to move out so partner will accept the situation. We would love to help her and could easily get her a mortgage that she would pay
My question is how does she prove she is paying the mortgage, we don't want to rent to her as we will have to pay income tax, we just want the house to be in her name and her pay the mortgage. Could we be guarantors.

OP posts:
Haggertyjane · 09/01/2021 15:53

does she work? She needs to see a solicitor first about selling the house. She needs to move into rented accomodation (or stay with you). Once the house is sold you can gift her part of the deposit. If she isn't working she won't get a mortgage in her own name. A lot of variables.

RandomMess · 09/01/2021 15:56

She forces sale of the property and which point you could help by buying him out of his share.

Even if she moves out sounds like she will have to force sale to get her share of the equity and come of the mortgage etc.

How is ownership of the property arranged and are they both on the mortgage?

Imtoooldforallthis · 09/01/2021 15:57

I know she won't get a mortgage in her name which is why we are trying to help her. She is desperatly trying to sort her life out and doesn't know where to start she is applying for jobs everyday and it will be a long time before her partner with accept the relationship is over.

OP posts:
Imtoooldforallthis · 09/01/2021 15:58

Yes both on the mortgage and I feel he will do everything he can to make things more difficult for her.

OP posts:
Imtoooldforallthis · 09/01/2021 15:59

There is no way he will let us buy him out of his share.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/01/2021 16:00

Your daughter needs to speak with a solicitor.

Eileithyiaa · 09/01/2021 16:01

I'm not sure if it's different because they were married but my mum got an order of some kind that my dad had to sell the house.
My mum moved out with me and my sister but my dad just hunkered down all comfy in the marital home. Mum wanted her equity released and managed to force it on the market.

Could this be viable for your DD?

Imtoooldforallthis · 09/01/2021 16:04

I'm sure he will accept the situation once she has left and the dust settles. She will probably have to rent, but it seems like dead money to me.

OP posts:
maxelly · 09/01/2021 16:10

I would talk to a mortgage broker, there are some specialist products out there for these kind of situations. I think the solution is probably something like the house is jointly owned between you and daughter and the mortgage is joint too, the bank won't then actually care whose account the payment comes from (or you can set up a joint account for the mortgage payments but funded by her), but both incomes will be taken into account for the mortgage. You and DD will be tenants in common and each owning a share, you could gift her your share further down the line when she is financially stable enough to get a mortgage in her sole name. I assume you have enough cash for the deposit? Obviously this situation requires your DD to trust you that you aren't going to diddle her out of your 'share' of the house, the bank certainly won't accept a situation where the mortgage is 100% in your name but she owns 100% of the house, as otherwise if you/she default how will they get their money back?

Your DD will need to sort out her situation with her share of the current house though or could run into all sorts of issues, if he won't sell the house and won't let you buy him out then he'll need to give your DD her share of the equity, she needs legal advice on this one.

Babyroobs · 09/01/2021 17:31

Not really mortgage related but I assume she is going to be claiming benefits if she has no job ? Her share of the equity in the property can be disregarded for benefit purposes for now as long as reasonable measures are being taken to sell the house. Once she receives her share of the equity then if that money is being put into another property, it will not be counted as capital for universal credit calcualtion.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/01/2021 17:35

Once she receives her share of the equity then if that money is being put into another property, it will not be counted as capital for universal credit calcualtion.

Not sure this is correct? I have a friend in similar situation and he was told cash assets are cash assets, doesn’t matter how you got it or what you want to spend it on, it counts towards the UC benefit entitlement.

Babyroobs · 09/01/2021 17:45

@PlanDeRaccordement

Once she receives her share of the equity then if that money is being put into another property, it will not be counted as capital for universal credit calcualtion.

Not sure this is correct? I have a friend in similar situation and he was told cash assets are cash assets, doesn’t matter how you got it or what you want to spend it on, it counts towards the UC benefit entitlement.

If being put straight into the deposit for another property it can be disregarded.
Babyroobs · 09/01/2021 17:52

It can also be disregarded for 6 months if a decision maker at DWP decides that it is reasonable.

HilaryBriss · 09/01/2021 17:55

I would concentrate on getting her off the current mortgage with her ex-partner before thinking about a new one.

2021hastobebetter · 09/01/2021 17:59

Can you afford to buy outright for her a smaller place? If then gift it to her children with the proviso that they can’t sell it from under her when they are older. Then she needs to start a divorce and force a sale. Don’t give her anything right now as she will legally have to give him half

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/01/2021 18:07

How would she pay mortgage and bills on a home on part time hours?

I know you say rent is dead money, but as an unmarried woman separating from her partner, with no work currently, she would be better off in rented. Ideally social housing. She will the get help with housing costs and childcare and likely her 2 and 3 yo would get access to early years schooling.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/01/2021 18:08

@Babyroobs

It can also be disregarded for 6 months if a decision maker at DWP decides that it is reasonable.
Wow. Do you have a link I can share with my friend? He’s divorcing his wife and living in rented place. But lost his job in lockdown starting November in England. Their house sold in December and he got his share of equity in his account and he’s being told the money counts as capital for his UC.
Babyroobs · 09/01/2021 18:13

PlanDeRaccordement - Sounds like he has been mis- advised. The thing is he would need to be looking to put that equity that into buying another property fairly soon. How will he do that if he has no job or would he be able to buy outright ? He might be best to speak to CAB. Does he currently have a UC claim, if so he could highlight it to his case manager via his journal.

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/01/2021 12:59

@babyroobs
Yes exactly. He can’t buy until he finds a new job and presumably has been in it for several months. He worked 15yrs for his company but was made redundant when they went under at second lockdown in November. The family home was already under offer by then, sale completed in December. And now the money is in his account as of Jan and his universal credit has been taken away because they’re counting the money as a cash asset. He’d found a new house to buy before he lost his job, but all that fell through obviously.
Now he’s struggling with severe depression over it all. He has history for it, his whole family does,( his little brother committed suicide due to depression).
I know he has been to CAB, he said “they were worse than useless”. Oh well. Thank you for commenting. I was just hoping to brighten his outlook a bit. Because he’s stuck now watching everything he worked for the past twenty years go down the drain.

Babyroobs · 10/01/2021 13:09

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@babyroobs
Yes exactly. He can’t buy until he finds a new job and presumably has been in it for several months. He worked 15yrs for his company but was made redundant when they went under at second lockdown in November. The family home was already under offer by then, sale completed in December. And now the money is in his account as of Jan and his universal credit has been taken away because they’re counting the money as a cash asset. He’d found a new house to buy before he lost his job, but all that fell through obviously.
Now he’s struggling with severe depression over it all. He has history for it, his whole family does,( his little brother committed suicide due to depression).
I know he has been to CAB, he said “they were worse than useless”. Oh well. Thank you for commenting. I was just hoping to brighten his outlook a bit. Because he’s stuck now watching everything he worked for the past twenty years go down the drain.[/quote]
It's awful isn't it. I guess he could risk not getting on the property ladder at all if he can't buy soon. I'm not sure of the rules exactly but I think he would need to be putting the money into a definite house sale fairly soon. If he can re-open his Uc account he could leave a message on his journal to ask. Otherwise as soon as his capital falls below 16k, he should start getting some UC again.

VanCleefArpels · 10/01/2021 13:27

If you have spare cash the best thing you can do is fund proceedings to force a sale of the current home. Once that has been done then you can consider next steps. If your daughter is staying under the same roof as her partner and claiming benefits in her own right she needs to be scrupulous about living a separate life - no cooking, laundry etc for him and separate bedrooms if possible.

C0NNIE · 10/01/2021 13:31

She’s been very foolish to have babies at 19 and 20 when she’s not married and has no job. She’s now in the very difficult position of having two young children to support, no job and ( I assume ) no training, post school qualification or significant work experience.

However she’s very lucky that she has such supportive parents. If she was my DD I’d do this:

  1. Get her legal advice as to how to get her equity out of the house - either force a sale or buy him out.
  1. Help her get somewhere to rent until she works out what she wants to do and sorts out the house sale.
  1. Help her apply for benefits and child support - CSA if necessary. She needs to work out child care with her ex - not evenings and weekends to suit him - she needs days.
  1. Help her Get into education and/ or training for a job that will allow her to support two kids on her own. Or look at jobs that are well paid but don’t need a degree. These will almost certainly be “ men’s jobs “.
  1. If you do buy her someone to live, make sure you take out a charge over the property for the amount of your loan - get proper legal advice.
  1. If you do the above, be very clear it’s on the condition that she doesn’t have any more kids / move in another man while you are financially and otherwise ( eg child care ) supporting her. Otherwise she will be a target for a cocklodger ( and she does sound quite naive ).

I’m sure plenty people will say that’s controlling but I don’t care. Your DD has made some foolish choices and needs to grow up fast - it’s not about her, it’s about her two small children who need her, if they are not going to grow up in poverty. Or watching their mother go from man to man who promises her the world.

Imtoooldforallthis · 10/01/2021 14:46

She has been with her partner for 5 years very settled until recently he works very hard to provide for them all, he works rolling shifts so she has struggled finding a job to suit. Her plan was always to retrain and work. I think are going down the out of renting or rent to buy, until she has her equity out of the property.

OP posts:
letsnotscaretheneighbours · 10/01/2021 14:54

Been in a very similar situation a few years ago. It is very tough.

I'm not a mortgage adviser but I do work in a mortgage brokers and can ask for you re:guarantor mortgages if you want me to just drop me a pm in case they ask questions so I can pass them on Flowers

LionLily · 10/01/2021 19:36

Could you afford to gift/loan/remortgage to pay cash for 25% of a shared ownership place? That way at least she is on the ladder of owning her own property. She isn't going to get a mortgage on her own even if you pay it, but if she had the cash for a shared ownership she could add more shares or pay you back out of the equity.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread