How do you afford to be sahm

[1ronspaa]

I’m a mum of two, one school age and the other is still a baby at 1 and a half. My partner earns 30k which is 23 - 24k after tax or £450 a week after tax. I lost my part time job mid way through pandemic and have now started a distance learning degree course. We get help through UC £60 - 70 a week but this will stop when my baby is 3. We get child benefit. I want to try and be a sahm until my baby starts school (then I can look for part. Time work) but worried about the financial side/ affordability of it. Anyone who is a sahm can you explain how you do it? Any tips?

My DH earns less than that, but we’re very strict with our outgoings. It also would work out cheaper for us due to childcare costs

Thats not a high enough wage to support a family of 4 on comfortably in my opinion. I would have thought your DH would need to earn significantly more to enable you to be a SAHP

Hi @1ronspaa where in the UK do you live? I live in SE and would struggle raising two young children on a £30k income, but I think I'm used to ridiculous SE house prices.

It's all down to outgoings which are non negotiable eg rent / mortgage and bills. Try and not let other household incomes intimidate you - I have friends with both mum and dad on six figures and they're terrified of mum dropping hours and making ends meet - everyone is different. Ensure you are paying the lowest amount on non negotiable outgoings, others have given good recommendations eg changing mortgage type (if you have one) and switching supermarkets.

You will be eligible to 15 hours free childcare when your youngest is 2, and 30 hours when they're 3. Could you therefore start working sooner? Does your husband work shifts / flexibly and can help with childcare around your part time work? I'm sure you've done your maths, but I would be trying to get back to work sooner with hubby's childcare help

All depends on your outgoings as well
I did it for a few years when dc were little years ago but we had to make sacrifices , like go down to one car , holidays were cheap sun or getaway breaks , but it depends on what your outgoings are compared to wage
You could be on £50000 a year but of your mortgage is £2000 a month still be tough
Do you want to be a sahm ?

We did, in the SE, on less than that. I didnt work for 5 years. We lived frugally, low mortgage, didnt buy anything we couldnt afford - no credit. I'm surprised you get UC on £30k income. I went back to work when my youngest started year1, before that childcare would have been more than I earned. Now I work part time, term time only. Absolutely ideal.

That sounds tough, but other posters have some good ideas. Could you move areas? The difference in house prices is incredible.

My situation won’t be much help to you. The advice we took was pre-kids live on one salary, save the other. That way you don’t take a cut in living standards when baby is born.

You can make the money go further if you -
never buy takeout food
rarely go to hairdressers
never go on holidays apart from caravan parks
wear shoes/clothes til they are rags
drive car til it rusts to death
eat and drink moderately
limit trips to cafes
do free stuff like walks in woodland
no smoking or drugs

All depends on outgoings. I have friends that do it on 26k but they have no mortgage (paid off with inheritance) and no rent, also live only a 5 minute walk into a decent town, and have a very involved granny who for birthdays and Christmas buys things like music lessons, annual passes to the zoo and a yearly holiday for all the family in the SW. So while in SE in a very expensive town, they have minimal outgoings and their home has shot up in value (under a 30 min train ride - station 5 min walk away- direct to London). I should add they also started their family well into their late 30's so had a solid emergency fund behind them, had made repairs to their home etc.

Please don't feel bad if you can't manage to be home full time. It's really not that terrible to work a few days a week and bring in extras that give your family a better quality of life. I always wanted to be a sahm and while I am grateful for all the time I have had with my dc during a variety of unexpected changes a few years ago, I never stopped working even when I probably would have had more money if I did. Now I can see those of us that didn't step down completely and/or go very part time, have had opportunities that have made a massive difference for our families and have given us job mobility. Also the higher you climb the more leave you can typically get and it's easier to do Flexi-working etc.

You are doing better than you think! Well done on going back to study.

You don't need to run a car until it falls about from rust or wear rags to survive on £30k per year, how ridiculous. You do however need a relatively low mortgage or rent costs. So if you bought on the basis of two incomes and borrowed the max you were able to, then you probably need to find some way to earn a second wage.

In general while a SAHM you have TIME, not MONEY, so - spend more time researching the best deal. (In non-Covid times) Use coupons, special offers, cash back sites etc. All your bills should be the cheapest they can be all the time.
Do free activities- again these are often available if you do your research
Do not buy anything on credit.
Get annual passes for gifts so you can have regular free days out.
Register for the marriage allowance tax transfer if you haven't already
Don't buy the cheapest anything - its generally a false economy
Sell anything in good condition you don't need especially old kids equipment or toys they have grown out of
Buy second hand/use freecycle etc
Sign up for some survey sites/free tester sites - this doesn't supply an income but occasionally you get something really good - eg I sold something I got free to test for over £120 after I finished with it. Usually its food, shampoos/beauty, cleaning products and toys you get free.