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Asking for help with Divorce and Finance

7 replies

Nangws · 08/12/2020 07:10

Hello,

I come to this country 8 years ago with my husband and two kids, hopping for the better education for the kids. Things did not go well, he got affair with his staff at work so we are getting divorce.

I had a good job at home but for the future of the kids, we moved even I know I will not get the same kind of job here. I am doing at the retails and get pay as almost the minimum hour payment

I sold all of the houses at home and we planned to buy house here in the UK. He is a main income when we come here, I transferred all the money from the houses as well as the money from my parents to his account so we know how much we have (he also got some money from his aunt when she died)

Beside that, my family also give us money to buy car..

But when we separate, he took everything (money, cars, event all of the le creuset, carpet..basiclly everything, and leave us with all the cheap stuff) , and we 3 had to sleep on the floor with no money and eat can food from the food bank. And the money that he kept, he used that for holiday with his mistress and transfer money around and take lot of cash out (each time with 400-£500 - said that to pay for his personal debt - he lie) . He also took all the valuable items when I was not at home which I now try to get back but he said he gave them to the charity

I started the divorce with lawyer that I paid but latter on I could not afford so I have legal aid which very slow and not very active, I guess because I do not pay so I dont get a good service.

My husband is earning around £60k per year and now only want to pay the minimum pay for child maintenance. When we were at the mediation he agreed to pay child maintenance plus clothing, clubs, music lessons, swimming, football etc but he ended up not pay for any of them and even the maintenance was not fully paid.

My question are:

  1. how to get him to pay for what he posted to pay as I would like to keep the children have the similar life with the had before. I am here on my own without family so there is no support from them at all, I can not ask for finance either because they did give us all of their money to help with buying house in the UK which never happened.
  2. I also want to fight for what he still from the family but he managed to hide all the money away, now, he also said the good are given away (I guess he either sold them or give to his family as his family are here), any one have experience about this

Sorry for my writing as this is my second language, and thank you for your help

OP posts:
soniamumsnet · 10/12/2020 10:21

Hi @Nangws just bumping this for you and hopefully some Mumsnetters will be along soon with some useful advice. Flowers

Nangws · 10/12/2020 10:44

Thank you, I wonder if I posted in a wrong place as I heard nothing. Thanks again

OP posts:
blue30 · 10/12/2020 10:54

He is a bad person and you are in a better position now even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. If he doesn’t pay the child maintenance fully the Child Maintenance Service can make him pay and there’s costs to pay also.

www.gov.uk/manage-child-maintenance-case/nonpayment-what-happens

soniamumsnet · 10/12/2020 11:22

Hi @Nangws we've moved this to the Money Matters section for you. Flowers

Nangws · 10/12/2020 12:00

@soniamumsnet

Hi *@Nangws* we've moved this to the Money Matters section for you. Flowers
Thank you
OP posts:
Cailleachian · 10/12/2020 12:51

You need a good lawyer.

British law in general, is that property that is obtained in a marriage is marital property, and should be split in the event of divorce (so your houses and parents money, as well as his inheritance from his aunt belong to both of you jointly).

If the children of the marriage live with you, he should pay maintainance for their upkeep. You can go to the Child Support Agency to make him pay for this if he refuses.

Do you and your children have citizenship or residency rights in the UK. If not, this is something that you should look into to make sure you get organised before divorcing to make sure that you can continue to live here.

Do you have proof that you sold houses that you owned in your home country, that your parents gave you money and that you transferred the money to him? (bank statements, land transfer documents etc). This will be useful.

This is a good guide to financial issues in divorce.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/financial-arrangements-marriage-breakdown/

Child Support Agency
www.gov.uk/manage-child-maintenance-case

Cailleachian · 10/12/2020 12:56

In short...

  1. You can make him give you money every month for the children by applying to the Child Support Agency
  1. This guide will help you get back the money that you have a right to.
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