Do I take the job?

[whatdoesthismeaneh]

I have a pretty cushy number at the moment. Hours are nice, people are nice. I enjoy my work and I am good at it. I only need to be in the office 2-3 days a week.

I have been offered a new job. Where the commute is a little bit longer (1 hour 20minutes instead of one hour 10minutes) and I will have to use the tube for part of it now instead of walking part the way. I know I will be knackered at the end of every week and will see less of my son as I wont be working from home. The pay is about 30% more. The hours will be a bit longer, and I will be under more pressure. However it is a really good stepping stone to a role where the money could be double what I earn now. If I dont take this one, then the skills I used to apply for it will be less fresh/relevant in future.

I dont really need the extra money at the moment. However it would be useful when my son is older and his school fees will increase.

I did turn down another job a year ago where I would have to have been away 3-4 days a week for less money than this one.

Do I take the job?

Tricky one - depends on a number of factors really. How old is your son - very different if he's nursery age and liable to be picking up bugs constantly/frequently needing to be picked up to come home sick/too little to understand why mummy can't come to sports day, compared to an older primary aged/secondary age child, particularly if he's the type who is sporty or musical or otherwise occupied with lots of after school activities anyway, so less likely to 'need' a lot of you in the week. Also are you planning another any time soon or is he an only? If the former how is the maternity pay and general childcare flexibility situation at new job?

Also, re the money, how much of difference will the eventual 'double' money step make to you, is it the difference between abject poverty and a comfortable existence, or is it more of an extra holiday a year and clear the mortgage sooner kind of difference (I'd sacrifice the latter for more family time but not the former ofc)? Also is this really now or never for this initial step or could you feasibly get a similar job in a year or 2 albeit needing to refresh some skills?

Also, (sorry for loads of questions!), would you be able after the initial 'hump' in new job be able to get back to working slightly shorter hours and WFH a few days a week, or is it always going to be full-on, totally office based work?

My instinct reading your post is that you kind of want to take the new job, in which case I think I'd lean towards it, I think the extra money could go quite a long way towards smoothing out any extra domestic problems and personally I like to take career opportunities when they come my way.... but that's just me, a lot of people would say life's too short, prioritise your family, no-one ever regretted not spending enough time in the office on their deathbed etc etc (although again I'd counter that last one with IMO one of the most common deathbed 'regrets' probably is not progressing in your career and/or not earning enough money to do all the things you wanted to do, so that doesn't actually help you either way, sorry )

I had the same a year ago and didn’t take the job

I always thought the deathbed regrets were always working too hard and not spending more time with children / loved ones

We don't need the money life is pretty comfortable now. I just know that if I close this door, I probably won't find another role like it and I will always pick the "nice and cushy" roles which are fun. This one has pretty good perks - medical cover and so on.

Part of me wants to take the meaty role (and the extra money) and show that I can do this and do it really well. Another part of me says, you don't need the money and life is good why do it?

I am going to sleep on it but think I will accept the offer to see if I can make the step up.

A quote come to mind:

"In the long run our achievements will inevitably be forgotten, and even mocked, and we will turn into the most democratic of substances...dust." (Alain De Botton)

Take it!! It's important to think long term.

Can you take it and use some of the extra money to spend on outsourcing household jobs e.g cleaning, gardening etc so when you are at home you have more quality family time?

I told them I would take the job. I am quite excited now! I won't enjoy handing my notice in though - its been great where I am.

I think we will spend some of the extra money on help for household jobs so we have more quality time together. Its a good idea.

@doubleaces89 I know what you are saying and why. I also know that my regrets aren't about the decisions I made but are about the ones I almost made but never did.

Thanks for your comments, they did help me think it through.

Congratulations and good luck in your new job! Just to say I was in a similar position a couple of years ago and took the leap and it was the best decision!! I since then have had another promotion and have made some really good friends. Once I had been there 6 months I asked for a small reduction in hours which they accepted when I had proved my ability to do the job well. I also use some of the extra money to have a cleaner and it makes a huge difference to my free family time!

Yay! Well done!