How does your exP pay maintenance

[Redruby2020]

Hi all, I just wondered those of you who are separated, and don't have anything official in place, how does your exP give you maintenance money and is it better and the more done thing, to pay it in to your account? I get that it must be done that way for some especially if you live further away, and unless it is done when you hand over child for contact with exP.
Thanks in advance!

He pays it straight into my account. We went through CMS and they calculate it every year.

Thank you, we have, well let's say I have not, as yet, gone down the official route, as yet, but I am dealing with exP who was abusive, and find it so frustrating how there are people out there who don't care, and don't do what they should, but the more I stress over it it does not help. I have authorities involved at the moment, for various reasons, and Children’s Services said you hear things like 'I haven't been paid or I haven't had work' well there is someone who can make you pay!
Like I get it that especially now, times are hard this year, and any other year because of several reasons, but how you can just think that when times are hard, you just don't have to contribute, incorrect! How an abusive person who also thinks this way about money thinks they are still a good person, I just don't know!

My ex doesn't pay one single cent for his daughter. I work part time and I claim the bare minimum of UC.. I support a house, childcare, bills, food, and the financial costs of a child all by myself. He's taking me to Court for a lives with for DD and acting like father of the century yet he's not paying one penny towards her.
That's until early next year when his attachment of earnings comes into force. I don't even want his money. I get by on what I earn, its tough but I make sure DD has everything she needs.. But as everyone says, it's her money and she's entitled to it. I just plan on saving it up for her.

Mine doesn’t pay me anything! He’s employed through his own limited company and dropped his earnings to zero so when CMS did their calculation there was nothing to calculate. I’m assuming he pays money to his current partner out of his company so she gets the money instead.

Hard to read there are still such scum bags around that don’t pay for their own children
My DH pays his ex straight in to her account ok pay day. The amount was agreed between them when they split and CMS have never been involved. It used to be cash in hand but then she started being difficult a few years ago and stopped contact etc etc so he changed to bank transfers so that the money always gets to his DD and she can’t turn around one day and say to CMS that he’s not been paying.
It’s much better, nice and transparent, no faffing about, and there’s proof he’s paid (or if he hasn’t, if the day ever came when he morphed into one of these non-paying sperm donors )

My ex doesn’t pay anything as I’m a much higher earner and so he doesn’t feel it’s necessary ....... however if he did I’d defiantly be going down the route of having it paid into my account; everyone is then super clear of how much was paid and when and there can’t be any disputes about it, which is definitely a good thing if your ex is abusive I’d say

He doesn’t, never has. And uses the very rare cash I send them with to his to buy something essential or have a nice time for something for himself so I’ve stopped.

Like the time I didn’t have time to get eldest trainers when hers broke so sent her with the cash for him to buy some. She can’t back a week later in her grandmas shit too big sandals with no cash.

Fuckwit.

These blokes who don't pay.

How much time do you all allow them with their children.

If it is as .uch as the Dad wants then the scum bag should be paying his way.

If care is 50/50 then he shouldn't need to.

If he wants more time with his kids than you allow...........

Well it’s not pay per view sadly.

Mine sees them about every 8 weeks. Holidays basically, the odd sporadic couple of hours in between rarely. I’d actually like and do encourage him into some sort of routine or regularly for the kids and for me!

But no go. Because other things are more important and parenting via the odd FaceTime is fine. His loss, my kids are amazing!

My ex currently has 1 hour supervised a week in the community. He wants DD to live with him or shared care because surprise surprise he doesn't have to pay then.. He's a textbook narcissist.. Violent. Abusive.. The lot. He put the court application in a few days after receiving the letter from CMS rejecting his mandatory reconsideration. So transparent

@Gigheimer

Well it’s not pay per view sadly.

Mine sees them about every 8 weeks. Holidays basically, the odd sporadic couple of hours in between rarely. I’d actually like and do encourage him into some sort of routine or regularly for the kids and for me!

But no go. Because other things are more important and parenting via the odd FaceTime is fine. His loss, my kids are amazing!

Every eight weeks and yet you sent them With money for him to buy them trainers?

Sounds strange.

CMS direct pay into my bank. They dealt with it all. I've not had any contact with him in a decade.

Not really Gretna? Timing just meant I didn’t have time to get her them so sent her to her dads with cash for him to buy them. Knew he wouldn’t have the money for them and didn’t want her away with no trainers.

I've had about 8 payments in three years. We agreed an amount I got for about 4 months then It stopped. So went toCMS who agreed a slightly less amount. But still wouldn't pay. So then Went to direct pay which took about 4 months. And got a few months. Then He went self employed.

To answer @Gretnacastle first child has gone nc. He is meant to see the other eow. Has managed about 15 hours in the last six months.

Child support and contact are 2 separate things. And it is not a good enough reason to stop visitation. And I'm sure in many cases it wouldn't change the situation. Just upset the children involved.

All money should go through the bank. For protection of everyone. So there is a paper trail.

Low and behold - today I finally received the first payment EVER for DD from CMS!! - I'm in shock!

He doesn't