My now 19 year old DS had attended an independent school for 11 years but in his first gcse year, things started to go really wrong in terms of his behaviour and academic performance. He was being routinely punished through detentions and suspensions to the point where he was one suspension away from expulsion. He had experienced years of his father continually taking me to the family court and it felt to me like everything was impacting at once. Many of his infractions were to do with disorganisation and time-keeping, rather than REALLY bad stuff and I felt that his new senior year teacher didn't really 'get' him, so he had little pastoral support. This time 4 years ago, when he had just turned 15, I went to school to meet with the head and deputy head in what would be my final meeting with them and when my son felt very close to the end of the line.
I had an overwhelming feeling in the meeting that they were 'done' with my DS, there appeared to be no strategy beyond more punishment and no consideration towards what I believed were the deeper underlying causes of his behaviour. I pointed out that his essay scaffolding appeared to be very poor and the head asked if I had "thought about a learning difficulty" and we agreed that my son would be tested for any SEN. I left the meeting feeling very dejected and unsupported and that, without a shift in attitude around my DS, he was inevitably about to be expelled.
Maybe a week later, sen test results confirmed my son had slow processing and I believed this would've accounted for some of his struggle as he clearly had additional educational support requirements that hadn't been met.
This is almost exactly 4 years ago. I had a panic to find another school as few had entry through gcse year. I felt that had no option but to pull him out fast, there had been no further contact from the teachers or the head following the meeting or the sen results, I felt my DS had been really let down and he started at another school straight after Christmas. I had not given a terms notice to the previous school and when they sent me an invoice in the January, I emailed back to inform the bursar that he had left.
In the time since, I have heard nothing from the school and had no correspondence from them. I have moved house but had post forwarded and anyway my usual communication had been via email. My DS is now at uni, once his sen had been realised provisions could be made and he eventually got back on track.
I realised I had been obliged to give a terms notice but actually had felt boxed into a corner and that expulsion was imminent. As so many years have passed and having not heard anything, I have naively - stupidly? - assumed the school felt vaguely complicit and realised I had been left with very few options. That the notice period was null and void. This is largely based on my never having heard from them again.
Today however I received a letter from a collections agency stating the school as their client. This is nearly 4 years later and with no prior notice. I have not managed to speak to either the collections or the school but can anyone advise re my position on this? 1. I do not have the money to pay the bill at all (my financial circumstances are much changed for the worse) 2. I believe that my sons father may have co-signed the original school documentation so therefore would be responsible for at least 50% of the bill. He has been living in France and MIA for many years. 3. Do I have any right to appeal, based on the circumstances above and also the fact I have never received ANY notification re pursuing me? If I had, I could've stated my case, inc the schools failings towards its duty of care OR could've negotiated payment. This has come out of the blue and been a real shock to my system today, would really appreciate any advice, thank you 🙏🏽