Separation and mortgage

[micaschist]

I'm thinking of separating from my husband but I've been put into a panic by the online mortgage tools. When I put in my salary and that I have two kids and am paying childcare it is saying that they would only lend me just over 1x my salary.

I understand that I can't afford as much with kids as if I didn't have them but how on earth could I ever afford anywhere? I'd have a reasonable deposit, I earn about £45k. My youngest is 2, so a while until childcare reduces.

Is this right? Are there lenders who would look at me more favourably? I could maybe rent until my youngest is at school but then I'd probably have to have a shorter term due to my age and that might affect my borrowing too? I just want to know that I can keep a roof over our heads!

Hi OP. My advice would be don't worry about this now. It sounds like it is 2-3 years away and you have a lot to overcome between now and then if separating. You have a great salary and a great deposit so should be fine. Yes these days they do look closely at your outgoings. However, the maintenance you receive from you partner and any benefits count towards you income. Also don't forget you will only be paying half of the childcare costs so don't attribute them all to yourself.

For now focus on what the next year looks like and finding a cosy rental. X

Thanks! I know I need to calm down and let things play out a bit as I don't know all the variables yet. I just don't deal well with not knowing!

Slightly further down the road than you im divorcing and still living together. Hosue will be put on market in new year.
We have to sell to buy 2 homes and neither can afford to do this without selling our current place. Then we split the equity. Spoke to our lender they won't devide the mortgage in 2 for 2 houses unfortunately but I can port the mortgage onto a new house so that what I'm likely to do plus my equity share.
If not like you say its quite hard to get a mortgage on 1 salary so look for something much smaller or speak to a broker. I have spoken to one who said some lender will take maintenance into account when lending. I spoke to a broker for free just make some calls. But as pp said you are quite a long way off yet, I'm 8 months in.

I guess you can't rely on maintenance. have you discussed whether you would have 50/50 shared care of the kids? Have you considered a shared ownership property which may be more affordable ?

Husband refuses to help with the kids despite me currently commuting 3hrs a day, so 50:50 definitely not an option, and continuing to live there would kill me, so pokey flat would be preferable to that!!

Not sure if there's any shared ownership near me, I'll have a look at that.

When we leave the EU at the end of the year mortgages will become easier to obtain because we won't be subject to the stringent affordability criteria that was brought in by the EU.

Every cloud and all that!

Divorce is usually financially bad news. Think very carefully before you go past the point of no return. Is it really unbearable to stay? I'm not exactly saying stay for the money but the finances of separating come as nasty shock for many people and it impacts women more as they are generally lower earners because of time out for children etc . Divorce also costs a lot.
If you can stay a while longer and build up running away money secretly it will be easier.

Secret money would need to be in cash as otherwise it'd only half be mine? I am worried about how I'd get by for the next three years as he has threatened to work abroad so I don't get anything (and also threatened to go for full custody while working here), so I have to try and make the figures work from my side.

You can't keep any money secret, everything has to be accounted for.

I don't know who told your DH that he doesn't have to pay for his kids if he's working abroad but it's not true - he still has to pay for his kids, regardless of where he works.

Can you really get money out of someone if they are outside the EU? I'd kind of assumed it would be doable inside the EU but not outside?

^^StephenBelafonte

When we leave the EU at the end of the year mortgages will become easier to obtain because we won't be subject to the stringent affordability criteria that was brought in by the EU.

Every cloud and all that!

Although changes were mandated by EU directives, they rules are now firmly in the FCA sourcebook and would require changes in legislation.

I somehow don’t think the requirement for mortgages to be affordable will be removed. Unaffordable mortgages are not a good thing.