In a financial mess - advice on who to speak to?

[Cocacola12]

I’ve been rubbish with money since I can remember, even as a child my dad would joke that it burned a hole in my pocket. As soon as I started working and earning an ok salary (when I was 18) my spending really got out of control. This was during the mid 00’s when it was really easy to get credit and loans. I got a £100k mortgage on a flat, loads of store cards and credit. Within 5 years I’d racked up £25k debt. ( I was always keeping up with the mortgage payment though)
I entered into a dmp agreement in 2011 and by 2016 I had paid off everything. Before the dmp I had changed to an interest only mortgage, this wasn’t included in the dmp.
I never told anyone - not even my long term partner (now husband) and still haven’t.
So fast forward to 2016, I had zero debt, my outstanding mortgage was around £88k.
I had my children, got married and was fortunate enough to be able to give up work. The mortgage was still interest only and worked out around £120 a month, my husband would transfer this amount to me monthly to cover it. I didn’t have any other outstanding bills to pay.
My husband bought a house with a mortgage in his name (we have no financial connection as his credit rating is good and mine is poor) we all live in the house.
I started working part time and foolishly took more credit out, again it stated to spiral out of control and here I am today, with around £3 or 4K outstanding. My mortgage is still Intersest only with a balance around £88k.

I don’t know what to do. My husband thinks I’ve re mortgaged my flat and have been paying it off for the last 3/4 years. I haven’t and it’s still interest only.
I’m completely ashamed and not looking for sympathy, i am a financial car crash and don’t know what or who to turn to.
I need to -
Remortgage so I can start clearing off some of the mortgage as it’s still interest only around 12 years left on it) but my salary is fairly low and I’m worried I wouldn’t be eligible for a good rate/ even eligible at all. I don’t want my husbands credit to be affected by all of this as none of it is his fault.
I also need to try consolidate some of the credit card payments as the interest is rubbish but again my credit rating is so bad I can’t.
What can I do?
My take home pay is around £800 a month.
I’m so sorry if you read this far and are thinking what an idiot I am. Believe me, I know I am.

I think you need to write everything down using MSE’s SOA form.

Then make enquires with a few banks and brokers as to your eligibility to go into a repayment mortgage.

Once you have a plan I’d really advise telling your DH, you won’t be throwing it at him if you’ve started to come up with solutions.

You’ve obviously compromised your earning potential to be home with your joint DC, I assume he works full time? This is therefore absolutely his issue too. The fact finances aren’t handled together is fine but you’re at the disadvantage and that’s not fair.

www.stoozing.com/soa.php

You need to be honest with your DH. You might find that easier once you have a plan in place.

Is he still giving you £120 for the mortgage?

What do you need to spend your salary on? Could you devote £500 pcm into paying off cards? This would mean you had no debt by end of April.

Then you need to tackle the mortgage. Even if you can’t remortgage (which you probably can, especially if you have plenty of equity) then you can presumably just overpay each month? If you put that £500 into paying off the mortgage you’ll be making good progress.

Is the flat rented out? Does the rent comprise part of your income?

If not, can you rent it out, then remortgage with a BTL mortgage, using proof of rental income to help secure a mortgage?

Firstly - it isn’t that bad. None of this, financially, is actually a car crash. In the grand scheme of things, £3k of debt is not a tragedy. You can sit down and make a manageable plan for paying it off. Likewise, at £120 a month, your husband can’t genuinely think you’ve actually been decreasing your mortgage by any great amount - even if that was a repayment mortgage you’d barely have paid a couple of thousand off in the three years you’ve had this arrangement.

What is more important is being honest with your husband about your financial situation and working out between you the best thing for the property you own going forward. It may be a better option just to sell it and pay off the mortgage (and have some savings of your own.)

Maybe selling the flat might be worth a thought. If not I would definitely change to a repayment mortgage asap.

You have to tell your husband. That’s the first step.

I would recommend you contact step change as they can help you work out the best solution financially. Its then up to you if you tell your husband. Good luck

How much is the flat worth?

Can you not make regular overpayments to your mortgage so even if you can’t remortgage, the balance will start to go down?

Who is living in the flat? You’re obviously not renting it out? That would provide an income. The obvious thing is to rent it out or sell it.

I don't think you're an 'idiot' for getting into debt. It happens. It's not a HUGE amount and can be fixed.

However I would be more concerned about lying to your DH. I found out a few years ago my husband hid debt from me and honestly I felt the trust had been completely broken and it was a really trying time for u. Don't underestimate the impact of these fibs. They might really affect your relationship. You need to be honest.

You have choices with the flat. If you and your husband are in a happy trusting relationship ( not always the case!) then the best person to discuss it with is him. Sell? Remortgage? Over what term (12 yrs / 25 yes?) Repayment of interest only? Get tenants or something else?
How to pay the debt - £4 isn't much really. The obvious solution is work more, but it is tricky in these times unless your main job is offering more hours. Don't wrap the debt up in the remortgage, it is really expensive! As you are married your finances are connected - could he (would he?) get an interest only credit card to keep cost of repaying that debt low? Then look at how long it is interest free for and how much you need to pay back each month.

*of, I meant or.

Ive read your post and perhaps it would be good if your reread the post and counted how many times you write

im rubbish with money, im and idiot

if this cycle is going to stop you need to take responsibility for your choices, you write it all down as if you're stupid and can't be responsible for your actions - its just the way it is.

perhaps you'll think Im harsh, hopefully though you'll stop and think im a really intellegent person and don't actually need to make these silly choices
good luck