Would you stay full time for an extra £200 or go part time for an extra day a week with your little one?

[Frenchsticks]

I will finish Maternity Leave early next year and currently plan to return to work full time over 4 long days. My DD will be in nursery as we have no local family to help out which will cost £800 a month (including taking tax free childcare into account). After all childcare costs, bills, food, fuel etc. I should have £450 left which I would like to split between £250 spending (clothes, days out, little luxuries etc.) And £200 savings.

I could go down to 30 hours a week over 3 days and lose £400 of my income a month. The extra day not needing nursery will save £200 so we'll lose the £200 I had hoped to be able to save each month but still have enough for all bills etc.

My husband is self employed and we keep finances separated for ease of his account. He has a large car loan each month where I have no debts to repay and his income is erratic so he pays his half into the joint account but otherwise, generally speaking, as I earn more money everything else will fall to me so we won't split the childcare bill. In theory he should be able to save some as well but 10 years with the man has taught me not to rely on that. He's not doing anything with money that he shouldn't, he just has very erratic income but loves his job and works very hard so it's not massively a problem. He will do all drop offs and pick ups at nursery as I can't with my hours so he is doing what he can.

Anyway, to me an extra day a week with my DD is definitely worth £200 a month but I do worry that we wouldn't be able to save anything and we currently have no savings at all due to moving this year which has eaten up the savings we did have. We would like another child in a few years and I'd like to be able to take a year's mat leave with them as well so this requires saving up for.

My husband can't go part time as he has a small business with a partnership; his partner cannot afford to go down to 4 days and they legally can't work without both present for health and safety. Although it would make more sense to protect my full time income over my husband's it's just not an option for him to go part time.
He definitely wants me to stay full time and prioritise trying to save but has said he will support me if I choose to go part time.
What would you do please?

If you’re doing to do your full time hours over 4 days you’ll have a day with your DD anyway. I went back 3 days a week after my second and it was nice, but I had subsidised daycare which was very very cheap so didn’t feel the effect on the lost wages.

In your case I’d rather have the £200 to save I think.

Thank you. Yes, I will have one day a week just me and DD anyway which I appreciate I am in a privileged position to be able to have and work full time. I do worry that 4 days of nursery at 10 hours a day is just such a lot for such a young child (she will just have turned 1)

OP it is a long time to be separated from their home comforts but sadly many do so.
If you and DH can get the bills out of the way and cut back I'd choose being with my baby

I’d want to decrease my hours.
Depending what you do, is there scope to decrease your hours on a temporary basis then increase again when she’s is older?
Are there no childcare offers through the local authority where you are? It’s been awhile I can’t recall the rules.

I’d rather be with my baby

I’m going back early next year too and 3 days I’d the plan but if I can get by on 2 days I will

I don't know currently how easy it would be to increase my hours again if I wanted to later on; I'd have to have that conversation with my manager. I work for the NHS in a specialist area with a relatively small team which is only commissioned for so many hours overall so if I drop my hours presumably they will try to recoup them elsewhere and if they do, I won't have the option to increase them again unless they become available.
The only offer I know of is tax free childcare.

Taking into consideration you've just moved house and you probably want another in a few years I'd stay 4 days for the moment and consider going down after the next one. That way the oldest should get their free nursery hours or be in school so the financial hit shouldn't be as much. Some people prefer to be there more for the toddler years and some when they are a bit older. No one will agree that anything but their preference is right but generally speaking the kids turn out alright so there's no right or wrong!

How much do you love your job? How do you feel about going back to work?

Can't your husband shorten the DC time in childcare? I get that they run their own business, but do they work 10 hrs/day every day?

I love my job very much. It took lots of training and building to get to this point in my career and I do love my job and would not give it up completely even if that was an option.

My husband will work 9-5 but his commute is roughly an hour so DD will need to be in 8-6. We both work in jobs that involve being in different parts of the county on different days so the logical solution is to have DD at a nursery near home as neither of us have a set base. My hours will be 8-6 but I obviously can't pick her up and drop her off at exactly the time I need to be at work. If she can ever be collected slightly earlier than of course she will be but I don't think that will be a regular occurrence.

If you have a job you love and flaky household finances, I’d stick to four days. If there’s any chance you’ll have another then you can ponder three days a week then.

Just keep in mind that childcare is at its easiest when they are nursery. It is when they start primary school that it becomes more difficult.

Not all schools have after school care until 6 pm, and a lot of schools do staggered starts at the beginning of term etc. I know most working mother's were struggling at our infant school.

And not all areas have brilliant holiday clubs.

So I wouldn't be making hast decisions right now, you might actually need MORE flexibility later on.

Have the time with your baby. They grow so quickly, and you can't put a price on that time, the bond and the memories. As long as the bills are covered. You could even try and get some work from home in the evenings to make up the lost income while your wee one is sleeping

It’s the 30 hour free childcare but child has to be age 3- that’s what I was thinking of.
If you love your job and wouldn’t be comfortable long term on a 3 day week, with minimal chance to increase hours (aside from speaking to your manager) I’m not sure you have much choice.
Has your manager agreed the full time hours spread across 4 days?

Could you do extra hours on bank in future instead?

On a separate note, aren’t you going to be exhausted condensing your hours...and you want another baby in the future. You know if your baby is sick in nursery you’ll have to go pick them up (or your DH). How flexible is your employer? Presumably you’ll have to use leave or flexi (if you get it) to make up hours. You could end up spreading 30 hours across the 5 days anyway. I’ve had to to do it myself, I work 18.5 hours and ended up having to spread them across 4 days at one point. I was not a happy bunny!
Are you able to home work? just to save on travelling time...
I think, in your shoes I’d return full time for now and decrease when baby two comes along.

If your in 8am-6pm presumably she will be in childcare from 7am-7pm ish? Some children were doing these hours when I took mine, obviously the children are fine it just becomes their routine, but I’d know I would’ve struggled. Difficult decision to make.

Can you do any extra hours on the weekend? I'm an nhs nurse and this is what I did, worked 3 days in the week then the odd weekend day to make up some money.

Thank you for all your replies and helping me see what different things I need to think about.
I was doing 4 days full time before so that's not a problem as it's already written into my contract. I can't work weekends as my specialty doesn't run at weekends (I'm not patient facing).
My husband will do pick ups and drops offs so if I do have to be office based she will still only ever be 8-6.
Currently my colleagues are working from home due to Covid so it's likely that that will still be the case for a while at least though generally, because I work across the Trust and not just in one place I tend to start and finish at home and travel about during the day so hopefully I will be there when she leaves in the morning and be there when she gets back 75% of the time anyway with only a few days where I have to be office based from start to finish but then yes, I would be out of the house 7-7 which will be very hard. But it wouldn't change her nursery hours as she'll be with my husband.
Very true about needing more flexibility when she is in school and childcare might be much more awkward and definitely something to think quite hard about.
We do have 30 hours free here but yes, not until she is 3.

I would go 4 days. You won’t be paying nursery fees for long so can start saving in a couple of years when you have no nursery costs.

Sorry meant 3 days.

I worked 4 days a week when my son was 1. I did feel I missed out with being with him, but in my case my MIL had him 2 days a week and my DH had him the other 2 days. Fortunately it was only for 10 months and I then got a job doing 3 days a week. We had no savings and just lived month on month, but I was way happier.

i would go down to three days, particularly as they are long days. and if at nursery they catch bugs and need time away so you will be on catch up on days at work, easier to negotiate with you working 3 days i would have thought.

My LB started nursery the day after his 1st birthday.

Our setup is 3 days a week at nursery, 1 day with MIL and Wednesdays we are off together.

For us, this is the perfect balance.

MIL may not be a long term commitment due to some other issues and I was considering dropping a day to make up for it, but similar to you I could not pick that day back up in future. Have weighed it up and decided that if and when that happens, we will do nursery 4 days a week because he really and truly loves it.

Mum guilt is real and I wish there was more support for mums returning from maternity leave. We are only managing at the moment because I've got 2 years worth of accrued holiday.

Who needs a years free childcare at aged 3 when we've already struggled through on maternity money. I think we should get it at age 1, or more specifically from whenever they first start nursery, to give us a chance to build back our savings. Then we probably wouldn't feel as guilty!

In theory he should be able to save some as well but 10 years with the man has taught me not to rely on that.

I think this is the conversation you need to have with your husband. While his income may be erratic, he needs to be saving what he can. So half into the household, pay off his car and the rest into savings with treats or incidentals coming out of the household funds. Him saying he’ll try to save isn’t enough when you’ve got a child to consider. I’m assuming there are months he has more money than others when he can save more.

I know your being pragmatic about how he’s been in the time you’ve been together, and are supportive of him doing a job he loves, which I really understand but If he were saving regularly you going down to three days would have less impact because he’d be covering the drop in income. If he can save, he needs to start doing that now.

I’d go to three days for all the reasons others have said, and agree a plan for your husband to save the balance of his wages wherever possible.

@Frenchsticks

I love my job very much. It took lots of training and building to get to this point in my career and I do love my job and would not give it up completely even if that was an option.

My husband will work 9-5 but his commute is roughly an hour so DD will need to be in 8-6. We both work in jobs that involve being in different parts of the county on different days so the logical solution is to have DD at a nursery near home as neither of us have a set base. My hours will be 8-6 but I obviously can't pick her up and drop her off at exactly the time I need to be at work. If she can ever be collected slightly earlier than of course she will be but I don't think that will be a regular occurrence.

Ten hour day in Nursery ??

If it's ten hours days in Nursery for a small baby then there is no way I personally would prioritise an extra £200 a month over the baby going three days. Have you considered whether you might get any help from Universal credit with the childcare costs ?

We would like another child in a few years and I'd like to be able to take a year's mat leave with them as well so this requires saving up for.

I’d keep at 4 days because your maternity pay will be based on your current salary. Then I’d look to drop hours when DC1 starts school.