Debt management plan & managing emotions

[MrsBobDylan]

I agreed a Debt Management Plan with the support of Step Change yesterday. The guy was brilliant, non- judgemental, clear, gave me over two hours of his time during our phone call.

I feel really emotional today. I am suddenly very angry at my ex employers for bullying me out of my job two years ago using my status as a carat against me, my fucking horrible parents who bullied dh and I to buy a house (sold when I lost my job) that was beyond our means and especially my Mother who has had money (which could pay my debt off twice over) saved in my name because she doesn't need it and after my Dad died it was the only lump sum she allowed to be put elsewhere to avoid inheritance tax further down the line.

I have let go everything that meant something to me financially, I feel like my siblings are judging me because I need this money moving otherwise one of my creditors could take it to pay off my debt.

I am pleased I have faced up to our situation, DH and I are pulling together and we have lovely kids and a warm, dry house, food and clothes.

But the emotions! Anyone else felt like this?

Not status as a carat, carer 🤣

Why did you have to sell your house when you lost your job. There are plenty of vacancies for Carers. It's good that you've made steps towards managing your debt though. Look on it as a fresh start. Anger will eat you up if you let it.

Well done on agreeing a DMP. One of my fav sayings is: 'Anger harms no-one more than those who harbour it.' In practical terms - if the inheritance money is in your name, can you not access it and clear the debts? What is it being saved for? Were the debts spent on something that improves your life or just wasted?

I wasn't clear - I lost my job (that I'd had for 10 years in a profession I'd been in for 20 years) because I have two disabled children and I got a new manager who used it against me. It was also bloody impossible to provide proper care for my kids and work so it was a good thing ultimately.

My wage went from 30k to zero so we had to sell our house and move somewhere much cheaper.

I'm less angry today, I talked it through with my siblings and they were lovely. The inheritance money was saved

Sorry, posted too soon! The inheritance money was saved n my name by my later father because he has used up his ISA allowance and was obsessed about interest rates. It is not my money, it is my Mother's and she is not someone who would want to help anyone.

She is much more likely to give me advice about how I shouldn't have got in debt and how she has never been in debt!

The debt is historical from when I lost my job, all my n interest free credit card. We didn't release enough equity when we moved and we have struggled ever since.

Anyway, I think the DMP emotions is probably fairly common, just wondered if anyone else had one and felt similarly?