Unexpectedly large gift - WWYD?

[DarnTooting]

My retired father had mentioned in passing that he would be giving me and my siblings some money. I was expecting £5k, but he's just handed me a cheque for £20k! I'd spoken with my husband about what to do with the money beforehand and he suggested saving it towards a newer car (not likely to purchase until next year - childcare costs will go down next September so some of the difference can be used for a loan to replace our 12yr old vehicle). £20k is more than I'd spend on a car in total!

I'm a secondary teacher working 4 long days a week (plus all the extras!) £20k is enough money for me to quit my job at Christmas and be full time at home with my children before the youngest starts Nursery in September. I could easily pick up another job although my current school are wonderful and flexible - this is not the case in every school!

The other option is to use the money to fund another child. My husband is done but I'm really not. He's found the children hard work and feels like he's just getting his life back now we're out of the baby stage and have one in school. He significantly out-earns me and I know he feels pressure to provide for the family. Thankfully his job is unlikely to be affected by COVID, but he's in a management role that is subject to restructuring so feels constant pressure about this.

Thoughts?

I'd save it. Put some towards a holiday fund when restrictions ease but otherwise just leave it alone.

When you're both in good jobs £20k is not the main factor in having another child or not. If he's done, he's done.

If I wasn't struggling for anything I'd chuck it in the mortgage. I wouldn't just have a holiday from work as my DPs wouldn't approve of me using their hard earned cash like that, but your df may be different 🤷

I’d pay it off the mortgage too

We’re in the middle of a pandemic and if you don’t need to pay off bills, then save it. None of us have any idea how this shit is going to pan out or if any of us is going to be affected, health wise.

You need to discuss the child thing with him. This isn’t a decision that you can make by yourself.

Before you do anything make sure you and your father understand the deliberate deprivation of assets rules.

www.which.co.uk/later-life-care/financing-care/gifting-assets-and-property/gifting-assets-what-are-the-rules-alp865l0wlum

20k isn't a whole lot in the scheme of things. Treat all of you to something you wouldn't normally buy and put the rest in savings

Invest /save it or use it to stay home with your DC if that's important to you . Cars depreciate but might make your life easier. I don't think an extra £20k warrants having another child, there's a lot more to consider. I'm sure your dad would like you to enjoy it whatever you decide to do.

[quote Updownin]Before you do anything make sure you and your father understand the deliberate deprivation of assets rules.

www.which.co.uk/later-life-care/financing-care/gifting-assets-and-property/gifting-assets-what-are-the-rules-alp865l0wlum[/quote]
^. This. If your dad needs care in the future someone might come looking for that cash back.

All of those options are silly. Don't buy an expensive car, don't use it to fund being a stahm and don't find another child if your husband is done.

I'm not too worried about care fees as his house is worth at least £800k. We know IHT is a consideration if he dies in the next 7 years, but hopefully that'll come out of the house sale. He's very sprightly, golfs 3 times a week and had a much better social life than I did pre-lockdown!

I'm reticent to pay it off the mortgage - I did that with the last gift he gave me a few years ago and I feel like I've not got a lot to show for it. The children are only young once...

Save the money then. I wouldn’t quit work. 20k may seem like a lot but if something goes wrong in your lives, it quickly won’t be iyswim.

Spend a bit, say the 5k, save the rest

As to another child, your husband doesn’t want one, and whilst 20k May allow you to take some time off for a year, it’s not going to cover the cost of the child for the 17 years after that it is?

I wouldn't put it towards the mortgage. It won't pay it off and in a couple of years you'll hardly notice the difference (unless your mortgage is tiny). I'd stick it in the bank and wait things out for a bit. Then I'd spend at least £5K on a family holiday - maybe a bit more - and leave the rest put for a rainy day or for a time when you want a 'thing' - a car/new kitchen/something where £15K will make a real dent, or allow you to have a 'better version' of what you want.

Alternatively spend a smaller amount now on a good watch/piece of jewelry that you would wear a lot so that you are carrying a bit of your lovely dad around with you always. Then, the rest as above :)

If you don't already have emergency savings then I'd keep £10k aside for that. It might help your husband to feel a little less pressured?

Then personally I'd put the 10k straight towards the mortgage with a view to being able to retire a little earlier. If your husband doesn't want another child then it's a non starter. Would you really want 9 months off work during a pandemic?

Save it.

You'd be bonkers to even consider packing in your job anytime soon tbh.

You’re clearly in a privileged position if your father has been able to give you lump sums more than once. Only you know what your father would think about how you use it.

Another child is not a £20K windfall option. So that’s a non-starter.

Taking 1 year off from a job where you have goodwill and flexibility, in the middle of a pandemic, sounds short-sighted.

I’d see if you can reduce hours, perhaps - with the view to going back up once DC in nursery - and take e.g. £10K to fund this if needed. Then I’d put the rest to new car and holiday.

Really, though, I’d pay down the mortgage with most of it. But I am boring and sensible.

Your school might allow you to have 2 terms off and keep your job open for you for Sept 2021.

I'd use it for the new car and save the rest/put it towards the mortgage. For me it wouldn't be enough to give up my job or have another baby with.

Nice sum, but not life changing, it certainly won't fund another child.

As a retired teacher with a teacher dd I know how pressurised the school environment is and I can understand how tempting it must be to use this very generous gift to leave work at Christmas. However, if you are in a reasonable school which you say is flexible I would think carefully before I gave this totally up. Some schools are a nightmare to work in. Why not use the money to reduce your hours rather than giving up entirely? Maybe do two days a week. That way you have far more time with dc while they are young, but you still have your foot in the door in a reasonable school so that you can increase hours later if you decide to. A lovely dilemma to have op . Hope you enjoy whatever choice you make.

I'd keep £5k of it towards the new car/holiday and put the rest towards your mortgage.
Have a look online and you'll be able to work out how much a £15k overpayment will save you over the term of your mortgage, it'll be thousands (obviously depending how much longer you have to payoff).
Was one of the happiest days of our lives when we paid ours off in our 40's.

Mortgage will currently be paid off at 53. Using all of the £20k only reduces this by 18 months, and to be honest I expect at least one of us will inherit a large amount before then. DH can easily afford the repayments on his own (especially once they're all in school). I see this money as for the immediate future, not really long term. I'm aware of just how lucky I am, especially in a pandemic!

Think I need a chat about my options with the head. Resignation deadline is end of the month for Christmas, but if I could drop hours next term that would make a huge difference to me

Do you have cash savings now? What are your provisions if either of you become ill and cannot work?

I'd probably spread it across newer car (eg up to £10k), topping up emergency fund or savings for a bigger purchase like new windows, roof etc, possibly a holiday and maybe towards the mortgage, although it isn't a given that this will save you much, if any money.

The interest on our mortgage is £15 a month and even in the current climate savings accounts pay a higher interest rate.

We have 3 months worth of expenditure saved plus DH has income protection insurance which kicks in after a couple of months. As a teacher I get 6 months full pay if I'm sick so our rainy day planning is already in a good place. We've no debt (apart from mortgage) and instant access to over £10k on credit cards if we need it. We really are very sensible with our money. A capital project such as a new kitchen would be nice but aren't needed at all. I think I'm looking for opinions on whether it's OK to indulge myself to work less and not have anything to "show" for it. My Dad is a sweetheart and wants to see us comfortable and happy

How do other people decide to be SAHMs when your salary is more than childcare costs and you have a career you enjoy and will want to return to?

How do other people decide to be SAHMs when your salary is more than childcare costs and you have a career you enjoy and will want to return to?

I think most people in this situation don't decide to be SAHMs.

If you have a career you enjoy and will want to return to, and your salary exceeds childcare, most people wanting more time with their small DC go part-time to a greater or lesser extent in order to keep their hand in at their job and options open.

Many people become SAHMs because their job pays less than childcare. Many people become SAHMs because they feel passionately that their job is not as fulfilling as being at home. Many of these people are OK with the decision, many regret it a bit when things are tough returning to the workforce.

You will put a lot of pressure on your DH if he becomes the single earner. I would be looking to talk seriously with work about whether you could have an unpaid career break, reduce your hours or some other less nuclear option than giving it all up entirely.