How to split the bills? What is fair?

[Charlene56]

Hi All, first post here so please be kind! Although long time reader.

I earn £1800 PCM after tax/pension (paid monthly)
My partner earns £1500 after tax pensions (paid 4 weekly)

As she is paid 4 weekly, she gets a 13th Payslip so has £1500 without any bill commitments (the dream)

We are first time home buyers and trying to figure out how best to split the bills. We also have a 1 year old.

Our mortgage is £715
Council tax / Insurance will be circa £250
Utility bills estimate £100
Then approx £200ish on food for the month.

& that is it. We are keeping our cars/phone payments separate and managing our personal bills seperately, although they work out near identical anyway. Same distance to travel (petrol) similar monthly car payments. Same phone contracts, same car payments etc.

How would you deal with this scenario and pay the bills?

Should I pay more monthly, if so how much? If so should we also split that 13th months' payslip?
Should it be a dead even split as the figures are so damningly close

We have a good relationship and really tend to pool our money anyway. Want to come up with the best solution, and ultimately a fair one!

We intend to save £500 a month once moved in to overpay on the mortgage / emergency fund. Typically we do save the majority of the "13th month" as well.

Any thoughts or advice would be fantastic.

You're close enough to equal that in your shoes I'd go 50/50, with you paying for a takeaway or meal out if you wanted one some months.

Maybe go 50/50 but you pay an extra £50-£100 a month into an "emergency fund" for you both to access in case of emergencies.

I'd just go 50 / 50 use the bonus month for a weekend away

Also it makes sense to work out your annual salary each dividied by 52 weeks in a year. Then you will see the actual difference in earned income on an equal basis in percentage. This will make it a bit easier to work out a fair split of bills etc.

Probably not relevant but wow 200 on shopping a month? That's my dream

Worked out calendar monthly your partner gets £1625 so I would split bills fairly between that and your £1800.....so you would pay 53% and your partner 47%.

If you're married / living as a married couple / have children etc, I would just pool all your money, have the expenses & savings paid out of the joint account and then you each get half of what's left. The "13th" payment goes straight into joint account as normal, if you have extra left that month, that gets split too.

The other way of doing it is to pay bills as a % of earnings - that's what we did when we were just boyfriend / girlfriend and it shifted between who was earning more (sometimes him, sometimes me). You're getting net pay of £21600 a year, she's getting £19,500. You earn 53% of the joint income, she earns 47%. If you split your outgoings in the same way (according to those %), you pay £670 per month, she pays £595 per month. I'd split savings 50/50 though.

great minds think alike @ApocalypseNowt

I'd always go 50/50 with bills where possible, but then the person with the most 'spare' money puts in for days out, takeouts etc.

When me and DP got together I paid for almost everything as he was on a 20hr a week contract (he'd taken a risky jump for a career change but this was the downside - low hours to start with) and I was earning £30k WFM freelance. Now, the tables are turned - his risk paid off, he's on a really decent wage, and I'm getting fuck all freelance work thanks to lockdown, so he pays for everything.

It's not even really a discussion anymore, to be honest, we just get on with it .. it's not even as if it's 'my money' and 'his money', it's just 'family money' and gets spent when needed.

I know some couples can make it work being all clinical about paying bills etc but we can't.

Just 50/50 should do. You earn basically the same.

I've always pro-rata'd. Yours is slightly higher than hers, annual totals 21600/19500 (the "13th month" thing is a nonsense concept), so you pay a little more or go 50:50 and you put aside your extra £550 into a holiday fund or whatever.

I earn more than my partner but we put in 50/50 to the bills account. The rest is our own.

Some people think that is unfair but I have worked hard to gain professional qualifications to climb the career ladder and he does not want to do that. He prefers instead to have a low-stress easy role. I therefore don't see why I can't enjoy my hard earned money. If he was really struggling with money of course I would help out but whilst he has enough then that's the way its going to be.

Who pays the childcare?

Who takes time out of work if your child is sick or your childcare lets you down?

I’d set up a bills account

By your reckoning you need £1065 for household expenditures
Into the account on payday You put £635 and your dp puts £535

You set up Direct Debits to pay bills each month

At the end of 12 months you have £1200 extra in the account to match your dps £1500 extra wage packet

I think your utilities are light to cover gas/electric, broadband, TV licence, water bill £100 is tight

You earn £2k more a year then her

£175 a month

£40 a week

So not a huge amount in it tbh

Have two joint accounts.

Acc1 - one salary in, all direct debits set up to come out (literally any bill you can pay via dd)

Acc2 - the other salary in, pay for "incidentals" so all food, petrol, treats, days out etc.

If you're in a committed relationship, why not just have a joint account, then everything gets paid into there and all the essential bills are paid from that account. You can then work out a monthly budget, setting aside what you want to spend on food and ongoing household goods, and setting a budget for how much you jointly want to spend on the other stuff such as phone contracts, TV subscriptions, club memberships, broadband etc etc.

After you've budgeted for all your known and intended expenses, decide how much you want to set aside as savings and whether or not you each want to have some "pocket money" to spend on yourselves on whatever you like - then jointly agree how much that will be.

My partner gets paid weekly so we do it like this.

He pays 40% of joint bills, so i split that monthly amount into 4, and then each week he transfers in that amount to joint account ready for next month, so end of month when i move my amount in, his is already there so on 1st of month all money is there.
On a month when there is a 5 week month he doesn't have to move any money in.