Overwhelmed with debt and no way out

[headtotoe12]

I've name changed as this is very personal although I've been around a long time.

I made some really stupid mistakes 7/8 years ago. Since then I've had a baby and it's made me look at my finances. I have a steady job but nursery costs take all of my income.

I honestly can't see a way out, I can't sleep for fears of someone coming and taking the car, or someone waiting for me to leave the house to take our things. I can't eat, if it wasn't for having DC I think I'd have ended it all by now. I manage to be a happy smiley mummy for them and I doubt my friends would ever believe what I feel like inside as I hide it well.

My debt is too big for a DRO but I can't afford bankruptcy, I don't have enough to offer for an IVA, I don't have enough to offer for a debt management plan. Step change have said they can't offer me any help as I just don't fit in a box. They've said to come back in a year to look at what options are available then but this is going to get so much worse if I leave it a year and I just can't carry on like this any longer.

I honestly don't know where to turn or what to do, I feel completely overwhelmed all of the time, having panic attacks constantly and I cannot see a light at the end of a tunnel. My DC deserve so much better than this.

Try PayPlanPlus.
Citizens advice.

Did Stepchange suggest applying for a grant to pay bankruptcy fees? You can search online for info or try citizens advice as they may know of organisations that offer these grants.

I've looked at turn2us but there's just nothing that seems appropriate to hell. I will try payplan I've never heard of them

www.cap.org.uk

When does the baby start school?
How much extra do you need per week to keep going until then?

There is always a way out and a solution OP - you just haven't found it yet.

Would you be able to tell us your income and outgoing and debt ? Posters are usually really helpful at great advice on places where you can cut down.

I find spreadsheets are the key. Keeping track of every payment in and out. Although I do appreciate sometimes the outgoing are going to be more than income and the debt spiral continues.

Wishing you all the best.

Look at the debt-free-wannabe board on MSE for lots of people in the same position. Don't worry, there's always a way out.

You can run your own debt management plan, by the way, you don't need to have Step Change or any of the others do it.

What sort of debt is it? Is it secured or unsecured? Roughly how much? And do you already have late payments/defaults? (If you don't want to answer, that's OK, but seriously visit MSE).

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, it's made me feel a lot less alone.

Income is around £1200 a month, after bills, childcare and basic expenses like food I have £30 a month to spare. Some months I will only shop for food for DC to save money for other bills such as an MOT.

Debt is £22,000 of unsecured debts, all with defaults. I know it's bad please don't make me feel any worse than I already do, I am very fragile at the moment.

I will look at the money saving expert website and see if I can get anything from there, thank you again.

I have three left until DC starts school and it seems for an IVA they like you to have around £100-£150 a month to pay, I have £30.

I am also going to ring Samaritans. I'm not wanting/expecting them to give me a solution. I just feel very overwhelmed and alone and would like to just talk.

Why can't you do a debt management plan with Stephchange? They liaise with the debtors, do a plan with you etc. They take however little you have spare and split it across the debtors.

Where is the children's father?

Do you have any family or friends who could help you with the bankruptcy fee? Or any assets you could sell to cover the cost of the fee? (You have to be careful with this though). You mentioned a car?

Did Stepchange talk to you about making small payments using your £30 surplus until your circumstances change i.e. baby starts school and other options become available?

Google Christians Against Poverty.
They saved me, all free, and emotional support too.
It changes your life.
They literally took over everything, the letters stopped, the phone calls stopped and I was debt free in 4 years.

If it’s unsecured debt is there anything they can do though ? I Know someone 60k unsecured and he told them to sing for it - there was nothing they could do on reality. It was a mix of credit card , credit union. I wouldn’t mind but the offered to reduce to 6k and he still said no. I’m in Ireland so might be different here

Ha e you checked you're getting everything you're entitled to from UC ?

Glad you're going to MSE Debt Free Wannabe. I found it tremendously supportive when I was in the same situation (my debt was significantly higher than yours ). From a completely hopeless future where bankruptcy and losing the house was a real possibility, I became debt free in about 5 years. Defaults eventually drop off and my credit rating is "excellent". It wasn't easy but the DFW people were so helpful that I didn't feel alone (most of my friends were SAHMs with high earning DHs).

Best of luck x

I've set up debt management for people in your circumstances. You can do it yourself too. You need to (a) identify all debts (amazing how many people don't) (b) work out your fixed costs (c) work our variable costs (d) identity opportunities for additional income (could you deliver leaflets or newspapers with your dc for instance) (e) check benefits available and also child support (again several people I counselled didn't go after child support) then you make a fixed budget including emergency expenses. Approach your lenders and make an offer on each loan. And cut up those cards.

It's possible, I've seen people get back in control from a worse position

Does your dc qualify for Feet funding towards childcare? Would a childminder be cheaper? Iirc payplan charge fees, cab might be able to suggest alternatives.

Please try Citizens Advice.

CAP are excellent, and please do call the Samaritans for someone to listen.

It's not something I'd normally suggest, but are you better off not working? It's a short term measure and you can do some online learning in that time if that might help you in the future. Do whatever works out best for you and your child.

I find it hard to believe that step change won't help you. How are you paying your minimum repayments now?

Another one saying CAP are amazing. They really are.

There is definitely a way forward from that. I was in a very similar position 10 years ago and honestly it is now a very distant memory (and my debt was more than yours too)

I know it feels huge and insurmountable but I promise there is a way to sort this.

And I’m another one that would recommend MSE. And yes, the Samaritans are great to talk too to.

If you take off your creditor payments is your disposable income £30

If that is the case then bankruptcy is your only option. You don't have enough disposable income for a DMP or an IVA. You need to owe less than £20k for a DRO.

If Stepchange can't offer you any other options then neither can pay plan or CAP.

You could write to all your creditors and offer them £1 a month for the next 6 months. This will give you some space to think about your options. Ask them to freeze all interest and charges.

Sorry if I am being a merchant of doom. But your options are limited right now. Bankruptcy costs around £500.

I am a Debt Counsellor and have been for 20 years. I am happy to answer any questions

Please do try CAP. While you could do it yourself it is so much easier with someone alongside you who knows exactly what to do.

@uggmum thank you for your help. £30 is after paying my priority bills without any creditor payments. £30 is all I have left. Do you have any advice on how people manage the bankruptcy fee?