How to afford a child? Worrying...

[Ibelongbythesea]

Hi lovely people on Mumsnet.
So me and my partner are casually TTC but I am so worried about if we can afford a child. The actual maternity leave won't be an issue it's the childcare that worries me. Neither of us are on enough money to afford us being on one salary and whichever way I work things out i.e one of us working part time, one full time but whichever way I work it out we are going to have no money at the end of the month. We already live a simple life with little in the way of luxuries so we can't cut back on any more. We also don't have any family that can help with childcare either. It just worries me having no money for the child's sake as well as our own.
Is anyone else in a similar situation or have been? How do you cope?

We're coming to the end of this and about to qualify for 30 free hours, but it's been a long two year slog.

Tax free childcare will take £2000 a year off your childcare bill, it knocks ours down to about £1250 a month making it slightly more affordable.

For a while I worked a Saturday every week as well, so we had a day where I was earning and DH was there for childcare. I also signed up to do night shifts at a couple of local shelters which gave me a bit extra to work with. I did start doing the £10 a day threads as I ended maternity leave as well, which has generally helped me earn £300+ a month. All of which has reduced our money worries ... but it's been exhausting.

Would one of you doing Monday-Thursday and the other doing Tuesday-Friday work? Any scope for you being able to use your maternity leave to boost your earning potential?

We were given some great advice in our marriage prep course - if you intend to live on a reduced income when you have a baby then start now. Put the rest into savings for when the baby comes.

Can you survive on maternity pay for 9months or a full year? If so then average it out per month and live on that amount now, you’ve probably got a year to save if you’re ttc.

How can you casually try and conceive?

If on a low enough income you claim Universal credit to get help with childcare costs.

If someone had said to me 5 years ago we'd need to find £900 a month for a full time childminder I would have said there was no way we could afford to have a child but we managed with my DD

Now I'm pregnant with twins.......we are going to take the biggest bank loan we can - probably around £25k-£30k over 10 years and use that to pay for childcare for the 3 years until 30 hours kicks in (repayments about £350 a month)

I also have places already reserved with a childminder - as cheap as we could find but that was OFSTED and all the rest so not compromising on safety etc - she is £35 per day per child but with the 20% tax free childcare the cost will come in below £30 each per day. We've also decided to do term time only childcare - we need to use all our annual leave to cover all the child holidays but it brings the cost down hugely

We cut back on everything - sky got cancelled, phones in cheapest tariffs, no holidays. You'd be surprised but most people find a way

I found doing some different spreadsheets with different scenarios in helped and helped to budget what we had left to pay for food etc once all the big bills went out. There is no "me" spending money anymore. What's left after the bills goes on food, inevitable house repairs and clothes for the kids

If you do some of these spreadsheets and you still can't afford to cover the childcare or lose a wage then yes you do have a significant problem and should re evaluate this "casual TTC" and wait and try save up some money first

You either are or aren't trying to conceive. Children aren't cheaper because you were careless with contraception rather than doing ovulation strips.

Put a condom on and do the sums, you'll feel a lot happier. Find out what you're eligible for, do the budget. Then go for it. Most people do manage but some don't.

Possibly an unpopular view here but if you are both on low incomes, you may be entitled to UC to help towards cc costs.

Also, does either of your workplaces offer salary sacrifice scheme? Look into this as an option.

For now double up on contraception and start saving, do your research properly and work out how much you need to save before starting maternity leave and until they are at least 4 because the government could change the current childcare help at any time!!!

You will get child benefit, you can hopefully both get tax free child care scheme but you need to look into it. You may have to return to work after only 6 months leave.

What are both of your promotion prospects like in the next few years.

What else could you cut down on to save money- broadband, mobiles, car loan/lease?

Stop ttc and start saving? Children bring additional financial pressure along with the day to day stuff that goes wrong (car/boiler breaking).

Personally we waited until we were financially secure before having a child because we wanted to be in a position to give them everything they could possibly need. Obviously your choice and many people have kids with no money, but I personally find being a parent much easier without the money worries I had when I was younger.

How old are you? We saved.

Do either of your workplaces offer childcare vouchers?

Your post doesn’t make sense.
You say that with childcare, you’d have no money left at the end of the month - so you can afford it, but nothing left over?
Then you say you like a simple life with little luxuries now... but those little luxuries must add up - because you can just afford childcare.

So:

• stop TTC. Don’t be silly with words like “casually”
• start saving
• be honest with yourself about the little luxuries now

It is really tough, but you need to do your sums and save first. Can remortgage over more years to reduce your payment? Or if renting, can you move somewhere cheaper without increasing your commute costs too much? Can you relocate completely?

We saved up before ttc.

If you’re having unprotected sex you’re actively ttc. That can obviously lead to a baby. You need to be responsible and think your situation through before bringing a person into the world. And they don’t need much to start with but they don’t stay babies for long.

If things are that tight that there’s no wriggle room don’t conceive. Check UC to see if you would qualify for help. Check out the costs of childminders/ nurseries locally to give you an idea. But yes it’s a bloody fortune, anything from £45-£120 a day near me.

Stop having unprotected sex. Start saving up so you aren’t worried about every single penny and wait until you have a decent amount of savings.

You aren't pregnant yet then? Fantastic. Start saving. Every single penny you save now is money in the bank for childcare and a weight off your shoulders in worry.

Look at the best working pattern you and your DP can find to maximise income and minimise childcare costs.

Investigate the tax free childcare options.

Investigate your childcare options finding a balance between cost and provision you are happy with.

Do you know how your earnings will relate to the provision of childcare hours? Check that out too.

Go to the Martin Lewis money expert website and fill in the spreadsheets of expenditure and income. Really cut it to the bone and save every penny you can.

Well first of all you need to stop trying to conceive until you have worked out the finances!!

Both of you can take on second jobs now and cut outgoings. Save like billyo. Put it all into an account to pay for childcare. If you take full mat leave you’ll need about 2 years of full time childcare before 30 free hours kicks in. Work out how much that is and make that your target savings goal. You don’t have to wait to have that amount to TTC but get a good whack in the account before you do.

@SnuggyBuggy childcare voucher schemes were closed to new entrants almost two years ago

Save like crazy, starting now!.

There is no getting away from it - the first few years are brutal due to having less income.

Tell relatives you are saving up (you don't have to say what for) and tell them any gifts for birthdays/christmas you would be really appreciative of practical gifts.

When the baby comes don't buy anything new, except maybe a mattress for the cot and bottles if you decide to bottle feed. All clothes, books, equipment and toys can be second hand from facebook market or ebay or even free from Freecycle. You will save a fortune. Tell relatives not to gift you loads of cute baby clothes (maybe just a few) and ask for practical gifts (reusable nappies, reusable wipes are good value especially if you plan to have more than one child, but initial up front investment so they make brilliant gifts).

Do you own your property? If not, then that’s the first step as mortgage is much cheaper than rent. Other than that, just save loads to see you through the first few years.
Personally, I wouldn’t be ‘casually’ trying with a ‘partner’ but would get married as that offers you financial protection + think it though first.

Re property ownership, you can also stretch out your mortgage over a very long period (35years+) to have as small repayments as possible. When you’re more financially comfortable, you can always overpay to pay it off early.

Just to make you stop & think - I got pregnant with twins so you can imagine the childcare costs that went with that.

I think you've had some harsh replies - but the advice to work out your finances and save is good.

Think outside the box about work patterns - split working patterns / evenings / weekends / compressed hours / early starts etc so perhaps you'd only need morning childcare etc. See if you can reduce pension contributions / do overtime / generate income from a hobby etc - obviously its not easy but although I don't think the cost of children ever really goes down, the childcare costs to start with are relatively short.

I can only afford 2 days childcare with DP doing compressed hours (this is his normal anyway) so he can cover a day. So I work 3 days and paid for 2 days, if I worked mor days I'd have less left after childcare because I'd have to pay more tax and wouldn't get anymore tax free childcare discount. Very fine balance basically.

For the next baby they probably won't be born till DD1 is 3 (not for lack of trying) so hopefully the 30 free hours will still be around and DP could cover the childcare cost with a few days OT or I could with a day or two freelancing.

Lots of mean replies above! I assume by 'casual' you mean not actively trying (monitoring cycles and ovulation etc) but you aren't using protection.
It's daunting but most people do manage - you will cut your cloth differently. Definitely save as much as you can now...if you can cope on maternity, does that mean you get a really good maternity package? How does this compare to your full wage less childcare costs? Have you looked at local pricing for nursery/childminders (childminders usually cheaper - well they are by me). Can you both change your working hours or condense your hours into 3 or 4 days so you both have a (different) day at home each? Other good suggestions above like extending mortgage.
If many people thought too much about childcare costs, they wouldn't ever do it..

I don’t think people are mean/ no one knows if OP means they will struggle or literally not be able to afford to live. Yes I’m sure lots of people cope is worse circumstances but if you can afford to wait a few years and be in a stronger position, why choose to make life hard for yourselves.