I feel compelled to spend

[BeccaBloomwood]

Hello all, regular poster using a namechange so as not to be linked to usual one!

Posting for advice after another afternoon wasted browsing clothes online!

Me and DP are a below average earning household, modest bills, put money away monthly into savings and have a very small amount of credit card debt.

My spending doesn't cause problems, as most of the time I don't actually spend but I spend a hell of a lot of time online shopping, adding stuff to my basket, looking for discount codes, leaving the page and then coming back to it days later. Most of the time I close the page down and don't buy, because I know I don't really need it, but I waste SO much time browsing and adding things to my basket. In my head I think "well these things are in the sale so why shouldn't I buy them?" before changing my mind. Its not really stuff for me or homeware, mainly clothes for the children as I like to buy bigger sizes in the sales.

Ever since seeing the most beautiful duffle coats in town last week, I've spent so much time browsing coats because I've convinced myself they need new coats. They absolutely do not. The eldest still has a perfectly nice coat and the youngest has about 5 coats as we get a lot of hand-me-downs from older cousins. (And she still insists on only wearing one particular jacket because nothing else will do ) But still I'm obsessing over getting new (and ridiculously expensive) coats for them.

Does anyone else do this?! I do always end up over-spending on our weekly budget but we pay money into our savings and off the credit card as soon as we are paid. I swing between "treat yourself!!" to being the tightest Dave Ramsey follower you could meet. The aim was to be really thrifty and not waste money on stuff we don't need so we can put the extra on the credit card and we've had varying degrees of success with that.

I'm going to delete all shopping apps on my phone, and try to stay away from online browsing when I'm bored. Its such a massive waste of time! Any advice? Has anyone been like this and changed their ways?

It’s seems like it’s no different to window shopping! You seem pretty sensible and there’s absolutely no reason not to have treats if you can afford them. It’s just about balance.

Well you know what Dave would say...set up a budget and work the baby steps. You need to clear the credit card debt first and then set out a budget. Maybe set yourself a clothing line in your budget so you don't feel deprived by not spending money on clothes. Also talk through with your partner or a friend/ family when you feel overwhelmed by the need to shop - they will talk you down I'm sure!

It does sound like a 21st century form of window shopping! If you aren't spending unnecessarily, then I don't think it is too much of an issue. Do you have your card details stored online? Maybe remove these so that if you do decide to go ahead and buy something online, then the added step of having to get up, find your card and then input the details to the website might act as an added barrier?

Do you have targeted funds for clothing? An annual limit for clothing for each child may help you to not splurge on expensive coats, but also allow you to buy what is needed?

I've never thought of it as window shopping but yes I suppose it is, with the added benefit of no added travel/coffee/lunch costs!

I just seem to waste so much time doing it, it makes me think of all the nice things my DDs could have (mainly nicer clothes and quality shoes) even though we make sure they don't go without. I feel disappointed that I haven't saved as much as I wanted to, but I think maybe I'm giving myself too strict a budget? Our weekly budget doesn't leave much wriggle room for clothes/shoes/toiletries so I will definitely open a savings pot for that type of thing, otherwise I still buy them and then go overboard using money from the bills account. Also yes I have card details saved and paypal set up, I'll look at how I can delete these from my phone as it makes it so much easier to spend!

emphasis Dave would definitely give me a telling off and tell me to get giselle intense!

I don’t think the issue here is spending, you sound well organised with money. The issue is hankering for a life that is outside your means which can make you feel shit in the long run. Stop looking and instead focus on what you have and can afford. I do it with rightmove, always looking at houses outside my price range then feeling crap about it after and hating my house!! Such a waste of time on both the looking and the negative feelings it brings afterwards.

If you're doing it because you're bored, is there something else that you'd like to do, either with DC or for yourself that you 'never have time for'? Could you vow to do that thing instead of the virtual window shopping?

Spending time looking for bargains is good but not for things that you don't need. Are there other things that you would like to buy that you can't normally afford? Maybe a holiday or activity? You could look into that instead of buying things you don't need.

SandysMam what you said really struck a chord with me, ashamed as I am to admit it I think you're right. I see other people's children with lovely clothes and the newest stuff and wish I could give my girls that (I could, but at the expense of monthly savings which I'd never do!)

It's weird because with myself I'm not overly fussed if I have the nicest clothes, make up, lovely haircuts etc. And our flat is still stuck in the 70's as we are saving to get the big jobs done and then redecorate bit by bit. It's more for the children really, which is silly as they are happy, healthy and have everything they need and don't care at all about clothes!

Barbara yes there is! I was thinking last night I could spend that time reading a book (I used to read a lot but not since kids came along) or do some colouring. You're right, it's only a bargain if I was going to buy it anyway and most purchases or intended purchases aren't needed. We are saving for home renovations and getting married, which is definitely a good motivation

Today I have set up a SO for a small amount on pay day to go to my other bank account into a Clothing pot, and any retailer email I've received I've unsubcribed. Facebook is such a pain with targeted ads as well, i'm not sure if hiding them does any good but I've started doing that too!