It's an inheritance one *drum roll*

[insertoriginalusernamehere]

Don't worry, this is an inheritance one but it's about myself and my husband.

I have 2 DS from previous marriage. My DH and I have Dd together.

For context, the house was in my name and so was the equity, DH now pays more than his fair share so we are both happy and equal in this now.

I always had all my assets in my will going 50/50 to my sons but then along came DH and then our DD. So obviously that was a game changer.

We are now looking to do our wills again because by default on marriage if one of us passes then all assets goes to the other partner. Obviously this is fine in theory but the long term practicalities are a bit mind blowing.

Essentially we want to make sure all the kids are treated fairly. So for me that's easy, all 3 kids get my share 1/3rd each.

DH has said that he wants to give my boys a share of his assets but obviously they will also get from their own father so we've worked out with solicitor the percentages. Should be straight forward right?

What we are confused about is how we can 'safeguard' this arrangement. As we all know, future marriages wouldn't be an impossibility and in theory if one of us dies and the other inherits it all and then remarries then passes too, there could be a very wealthy theoretical other spouse one day. Meaning the kids get naff all.

The other thing more practically is if I was to pass, realistically my sons would have to live with their own dad and my husband could financially afford to keep our DD in the same lifestyle she has now and afford childcare. Sorted.

However, if DH were to pass, I would still have all 3 children and with childcare costs I wouldn't be earning much at all. So I personally would need more money to keep us all going on a day to day living basis. Quite rightly within this my DH wants to ensure that DD isn't getting less because of this than her brothers.

So it's about balancing this up.

I'm probably over thinking this.

Any advice or anything obvious we've missed?

I'm writing this semi hungover too so hope it makes sense!

Have you got life insurance? It might be worth increasing cover for your husband so that you would be ok financially with the three children.

We have life cover and no mortgage so in theory the house would be ok it's just the day to day expenses I would need to cover.

Yes, I think that having a much higher life insurance payout on your husband would solve this.

Realistically there's no way to write your wills that encompasses all of those things, as you don't know when you'll die. Eventually his higher contribution now will outweigh your equity, won't it? So it all depends on what side of that point you die on?

Another vote for increasing the life insurance for your DH. Then this all needs to be set out in both your wills properly drawn up by a solicitor specialising in family law and estates.

I would also consider leaving each adults share to the children not the other adult . So if care costs come in play further down the line only half to house is liable. If that makes sense.

This can be arranged via a trust, that give your husband an interest in possession (you can stipulate conditions) and it eventually passing to your children. It is important to get this drawn up be someone qualified.