Should we live with parents whilst saving for deposit?

[KAD14]

Myself and my husband have been saving for our deposit for our first home. We currently rent a flat. We were planning to do 95% mortgage initially just to get out of rented, but with Covid coming along 99% of lenders are now only offering 85% mortgages. The average house price in our area is £300k so we are talking £45k deposit. We have £17k currently. My parents have offered us the option to move in with them rent free, just purchasing our own food, for the next few months to help us save much quicker. They have a couple of spare rooms so have said we can have our own bedroom, living room and bathroom. We would just share the kitchen. If we were to do this, I think we could be saving £3.5k per month between us, compared to £1.75k per month we are saving now whilst paying rent. I am very close with my parents, and my husband gets on really well with them, but I’ve not lived with my parents for many years (I’m 27). For me, the money saving benefits outweigh any negatives, but I do appreciate it’s different for my husband, they aren’t his parents after all. Do you think this is a good idea? Does anyone have experience of a similar situation?

It’s a personal decision really. Only you can judge if it will work, no one on here can really advise. I’d say if you have a leaving date in mind, that would be helpful though.

Yes I would.

Yes I would - you will never get the chance to save this kind of money again, even just 12 months means you’ll have the deposit and the money for all the added on fees. As long as you both focus on the longer term goal you’ll be fine.

It really depends; you need to figure out how much you can save in how long and set yourself a deadline. You both need to save and not be tempted to splash the cash because you're suddenly not spending anything on rent.

There's a tendency to regress back to parent/child roles so that could sour some relationships.

Alternatively it might be ok and this time next year you'll be moving in to your new house!

P.s. are you in London? I can't think of anywhere else where a first house would cost so much!

@CoalTitCafe We’re in a seaside town in Cornwall. Living in a holiday destination near the sea, as well as lots of second homes here pushes the price up massively!

I would - you will have a decent living space so you’re not living out of your bedroom like a teenager and the amount you can save is pretty significant. Aim for say 12 months and re-assess every 2-3 months whether it’s still working for everyone. If it is, keep going, if not move out again and you’ll have saved a bit extra.

Absolutely, it's a means to an end. If you had a difficult relationship or the house was small, then I'd say no, but given the circumstances it sounds like a great way to save.
What kind of salary do you have to be able to save that amount? Would you still have disposable income to be able to go out for dinner or get away for the odd weekend if you needed some space ?

Yes, I would, but I would set an "end date" and be quite firm with myself and my parents that this is a definite. I feel for you - being surrounded by second homes in an area you want to buy must be very hard.

If it's just for a year and you both get on with your parents and you'll have loads of room what's the problem? Sounds like a sweet deal.

I can't understand why you wouldn't do it, if you all get on okay and they are happy to do so.

It's a no brainer to me.

Yes!! And I’d consider myself very lucky that my parents have offered. That’s a great deal

With that amount of space spare I'd give it a go. Start with a very honest chat about what you are expected to do ie cleaning of common areas, how you'll manage using the same kitchen etc so you all know what's expected. Then be open with each other about issues and don't let them fester.

Someone I know did this. The parents didn't move all their stuff out of the bedroom so would come in and out looking for things. It was a nightmare, and everyone was so stressed the whole time.

Just make sure you iron out every little detail and think of various awkward situations to cover before you move in!

I think overall it sounds like a good deal, but maybe let your husband have the final say, as you say, for him it probably will be harder?

I'd definitely have a very detailed conversation with your parents about the 'small print' of their kind offer as the last thing you would want is to give up your rental and move in only to find you have a major point of difference. E.g. you say this would be for a 'few months', it may well take you only say 3 months to save your deposit, but then you have to find a place and go through the whole purchase process, I can easily see this taking another 6 months or even longer if the market shifts again or a sale falls through, so it might be closer to a year before you actually move out, is this OK with everyone, are your parents effectively happy to have you indefinitely or is there a hard end date to the offer? What are their expectations of you in terms of cleaning, sharing cooking, gardening/house maintenance and running errands for them? How much time will you all expect to spend together (e.g. will they expect you to have sunday lunch together every week, or will they expect you to disappear/hole up in your room every weekend so they can have 'alone time')? What about if you or they want to have guests? If you are working from home at the moment/in the future will they respect this or will you be constantly interrupted (I know my mum just can't get the concept at all, to her at home = free to chat/go for a walk/have a cup of tea at any time). Do you/DH have pets or furniture/bulky items like bikes you want to bring with you or store at your parents house and is this OK? What are everyone's expectations re privacy, will your parents expect to be able to go into 'your' rooms at any time or vice versa? Don't just assume you will automatically be on the same page about all these things without talking it through!

Yes, move in but don't have a baby while yo are waiting.