@Lauryloo1991
I'm going to respectfully disagree - you can get much better and more qualified support, on gamcare you'll find a friends and family section and there are people that are experienced from your perspective - some are blunt with their messages but I've actually learnt as much from them as anyone else.
I hope the reason behind that is that I want to stay stopped. Not for my wife (which I used to say) or even for my children. For me.. Selfish, yes but I know I will never be the dad or husband or even person I want to be whilst I choose to gamble.
It never felt like a choice at the time but ultimately it was, often born from desperation but my choice still.
However, from my perspective;
Yes - he sounds like he is addicted
No - from what you have briefly written, it does not sound like he is addressing the addiction or dare I say it, that he is even ready to stop. Remember don't listen to the words, or tears - sadly they are meaningless.
You don't have to make a decision right now about the relationship, this is your life, you make the rules. It might however be appropriate to give yourself time. You love the person you think he is, you sound like you want to support him.
My sister was my best support. She has access to money, I was in deep, debt higher than my salary, under threat of a loan shark and yet she said no.
Instead she brought me a 1 man tent, her old camping stove and one of her childrens old sleeping bags and a £10 mobile phone with £10 credit and the number for Samaritans. She looked me in the eye and said she loved me, she wanted to help but she was not interested in my story, she was not willing to give me any money, her priority was ensuring my children and wife were ok and that I needed to deal with the consequences.
As it transpired after many discussions, it was agreed my family would help me pay off the loan shark - not for me but because they were concerned about repercussions on the family home. The loan shark was a neighbour, I had been naïve and just took up an offer of money without thinking, my other debt was still more than my salary.
One credit card was in my wife's name.
My sister saved my life. By saying no.
From that moment I have faced into the consequences of my previous decisions, every day.
Sorry this is long!
In the immediate, make sure you have access to credit reports - for you both.
Buy a small safe and in it put every log in or access details that he has, make sure this matches the credit reports but also you need it for email, phone etc. You may never access them but you need to be able to. We still have this now, I have no idea if my wife accesses them but she can, whenever she wants.
Any subsequent secrets emerge (secret accounts etc) and that has to be it.
You do not do ANY of the work, no calls to creditors, no paying things off - he does it all, just in front of you.
Be kind to yourself and get professional support.
You are faced with an awful choice and not from anything you have done. You deserve time and support to work through it. Tell whoever you want - not whoever he says.
You did not cause this, you cannot control him but you can now look after yourself.
I hope on some small level this rambling is useful but once again please take it in context, I'm an addict not an expert
best wishes