Spending the savings

[user1465365718]

Hi all. I'm 60 and he's 62

What's my legal positon given we're not married but been together sine 1988 as a couple

We have savings of over £250K and a property but getting to use it for some of it for myself seems impossible given he just wants to keep it in the bank incase I leave him. I would like to get to spend some of the savings as we are both pressing on in age terms and I don't want to see it left in the bank without using some of it up, ie new car, new kitchen, holidays etc.
I left work with a 'golden handshake' which went into the joint bank account and a pension we share and I have no need to work. He works part-time for two days a week and doesn't have a pension to look forward to.
He spends approx £150 of the £500 pension per week on the shopping and he tells the rest of the pension gets spent but I never see any evidence of this. He doesn't smoke, drink or go the pub so my guess is it's saved in the house as the cash in the bank accounts don't increase. He gets ever so angry when I ask him to show me what he has spent it on.

TIA

So is it your pension he save money out of? Is the savings account joint?

Is the house in both names? All accounts in both names? If not then you don't have a lot of protection if unmarried

could you open a sole account and move some money to that?

Honestly it's time to split the savings. You need access to money. This is financial abuse.

If you aren't married then what is in your name is yours and what is in his name is his. So if he has the savings then you have no claim to then. If he dies without a will the savings go to his family as you are not recognised as his next of kin in law.

Who’s name is everything in? That’s the important bit

I would use the ongoing virus situation to start a conversation

None of us know how long we have

No point in having money in the bank, if you can't both enjoy it, now if while you are still I assume heathly !

Perhaps talk to a financial advisor to check on your options

Bank accounts are currently paying very poor interest rates, it could be invested somewhere else for a better return

Or buy a holiday home

Or a once in a lifetime holiday

When will he stop working 2 days per week ?

Do you both have wills ?

If you jointly contributed to the savings, why can't you spend some & he spends some or you spend jointly ?

What do the bank statement show or is he withdrawing it as cash?

Easy way to find out what the weekly money is being spent on is to set up a sole name bank account, switch YOUR pension in to it and then you will control what happens to that money. If he wants access he will have to discuss it.

Do you not have access to the savings?
What would happen if you just decided you were having a new kitchen etc?

Do you have access to the bank account though and can see the savings in there. Because if people are being secretive like that, I’ll think he’s probably spent it all.
You need to dig deep. If there’s savings, now is the time to transfer half of it into your own personal account. Imagine having all that money and not enjoy it and then it ends up getting spent on care home fees and the likes.

Op make sure half is in your name. Like pp above said, if he dies you will not see that money unless it is left to you and why should you pay probate on your own money. As some of it is your money.

If you split up tomorrow he can walk away with it all, if it is in his name.

Then do what you want to improve your life with your half.

Your pension should be in your own account. Don't share it unless he is sharing with you. Either you each have own finances and savings or you combine and share but accounts have both of you as signatories and you need both signatures to make withdrawals.

Where is all your money currently? If it's in joint savings you can take it all, or half of it, and go from there. Put it in your name. Put the pension into a bank account in your name and pay a % from there into the joint account for groceries. Then start a conversation about what the savings are to be spent on. How is your house owned? Joint names?

@flirtygirl

Op make sure half is in your name. Like pp above said, if he dies you will not see that money unless it is left to you and why should you pay probate on your own money. As some of it is your money.

If you split up tomorrow he can walk away with it all, if it is in his name.

Then do what you want to improve your life with your half.

Your pension should be in your own account. Don't share it unless he is sharing with you. Either you each have own finances and savings or you combine and share but accounts have both of you as signatories and you need both signatures to make withdrawals.

Most joint savings accounts only need one person to withdraw all the money. When couples split up, often one person takes everything. Nightmare for the other person.

What? You put your pension into joint savings?

Did you ever intend to marry? Do you intend to stay with him?

Why can’t you access the money- transfer half to a sole acc

Your post isn't very clear to me. Do you have £500 a week pension or £500 a month. Where did the £250k come from. Is the house in joint names. It's impossible to comment or advise without knowing some basic facts.

Do either of you even have wills?

Yep either person can take money from joint accounts and that why you make it so that money can only be withdrawn with both signatories. You do that at the bank.

Oh I see, I thought you were telling op that her joint account now needed both signatures. I'm concerned it does - or she thinks it does - and that's why she can't access it. Last thing she needs is him saying no to everything. Separate savings accounts would be safer for her.
I actually wonder a bit if she has seen the accounts recently. The money might not even still be there.

If you leave, your pension goes with you. Of if you die before him, won’t your pension stop? In either case, what will he have to live on in his old age? Why doesn’t he have a pension? Was you career prioritised or was he lazy?

We need more facts as to what the situation is before we can advise.

What is happening to your pension? Get your own bank account and pay the whole amount into that. Why is he mysteriously spending your pension each month and you aren't allowed to ask about it? Have you read about Financial Abuse? I hope the property is in both your names.

This is financial abuse.
If he dies the money and house will go to his relatives if they are in his name.
I would get this sorted!

Maybe I misunderstood but he is spending your pension? And has control over your money?

This is crazy. Why are you giving him so much power over your money? You're not married, get back whatever is yours and put it into a bank account that's just in your name.

You are not on the same page financially so this joint set up doesn't work. That's fine. So for the love of god, change it so it does work for you. It's your money!!!